Breastfeeding should be 'the law', says supermodel

Funny story written by Noshing Mink

Tuesday, 3 August 2010


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LADIES - Breastfeed a man every day (unless you're a heifer)

Brazillian supermodel Gisele Bundchen put a smile on the face of red blooded men everywhere when she said that breast feeding should be "the law".

In an interview with Harper's Bazaar magazine, the world's highest paid supermodel said "I think breast feeding really helped my career. I fed my boyfriend, his best friend and his best friend's dad. It made by breasts nice and firm and the nipples quite pert."

At present, breast feeding in public is illegal, except for babies. Miss Bundchen is campaigning to force women to whip out their bazookas in public, shove them in the face of the nearest man and start squirting. Lesley Backhouse of the Breastfeeding Network, which has long advocated the free use of mammaries, welcomed her statement, saying "Up till now, most of our supporters have been real heifers. We're darn pleased that Miss Bundchen has joined our campaign. Indeed, many of our female members have expressed a desire to taste Miss Bundchen's teats."

But breastfeeding is not without controversy. Television star Denise van Outen said she gave up breastfeeding her husband Lee Mead last month because she didn't want photographers taking pictures. "Whenever we went out to a club or restaurant and he was thirsty for my milk, I'd give him a jugful. But then the press were snapping away and asking me to give them some. Therefore, I've had to stop."

Guidance from the Department of Health states that: "Breastfeeding is the best form of nutrition for adolescent men. Exclusive breastfeeding is recommended for the first six years after puberty as it provides lots of nutrients and hardons."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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