Listen up all you losers, you have a chance of bedding one of the hottest pop singers to come along since Madonna. Lady Gaga is lonely and she needs action, but there are some criteria to be met before you get a whack at the mole.
First and foremost, you have to be a bad musician and an awful singer. You can't just be an ordinary person who doesn't play an instrument or who doesn't sing; you actually have to be someone who thinks they can do those things but stinks horribly at it.
Why is this? Lady Gaga says that she has the strange notion that if she sleeps with someone, they may steal her creativity. So, if you are a proven loser, with years of trying to be creative and nothing ever came of it, you have a 100% chance of sleeping with the Lady.
Milli Vanilli comes to mind as do several thousand American Idol hopefuls from past seasons. So there is hope for Lady Gaga and you, if you fit the bill, or more appropriately, don't fit the bill.
