The international world has been rocked by two disasters occuring at the same time.
First the Queen sprained her ankle when kicking Charles as he explained he wasn't getting any younger. Then Prince Philip fell from his pony trap, whilst training for the 2012 Olympics and hurt his neck.
A Palace lady in waiting told me: 'I was waiting for the ambulance to arrive after I dialled 999 15 minutes. It is a disgrace. It must be due to those who ring the emergency services without due cause.'
However the Queen is safely in the private wing of St Ermintrude Hospital and the Hospital issued a statement. 'Her Majesty is resting after her ordeal. Prince Charles has visited his mother to make sure she is still alive.' Unfortunately the Queen's condition deteriorated briefly after a compassionate visit from Sarah Ferguson who left in tears.
Meanwhile in another part of the Hospital Philip is kicking up a storm because he is being treated by foreigners. 'They don't understand a word I say. I have a pain the neck and they keep taking my temperature.'
Messages of sympathy are rolling in from around the world. The President of Pakistan has altered his schedule to visit the Queen to ask if his country could give any assistance. Prince Philip has rejected any help from that quarter, thank you very much.
A delegation of Moscow citizens in London escaping the freezing weather in their country has been singing folk songs outside the Hospital in solidarity with the injured couple.
Prince Charles, looking quite shaken from his ordeal, made nothing of the injury to his royal seat and assured everyone that the Queen's leg would be ready for business in no time. 'I know what what subject to avoid in future' he gallantly explained 'my mother naturally is aware that I am aging.'
