A popular diet website was in the news recently for a story they would rather forget.
A lady employed, by the diet websites agency, for modelling purposes was consumed by accident, by another model from a different agency, in what appears to have been a mix up at the buffet table during a break in shooting for a recent advertising campaign.
The website, which promises a loss of "41% body fat" and "42 pounds weight loss in a month" advertise in side bars and banners on the headers and footers of other websites like TheSpoof.com
One of their recent adverts showed two separate ladies, one large and one small, purporting to be one and the same person, but prior to diet instruction and then after 2 months following the dietary regime.
The success of that advertising campaign prompted the diet bigwigs to attempt to recreate this formula by bringing back the same two models to make an updated version of the old add.
In the intervening period however, the differences between the two ladies had become somewhat more apparent, the "before" model in her "SWEET NOTHING" vest top had gone from a voluptuously healthy salad dodger to an enormous pile of carnivorous, all consuming, flesh due to her self esteem being dragged through the gutter from being in the advert the first time round.
The "after" model had in the meantime become thinner and thinner, slowly wasting away from her former ironing board shaped sexiness to a bag of elbows emaciated crack whore as is promoted fashionable among the media who berates such unhealthy practices to sell papers and turn women into carbon copies of these witless wracked dull eyed, hollow cheeked, joyless clothes racks.
All went well at the photo shoot during the first half of the day. Jabba the Huttess was wheeled in, oiled up and photographed whilst sobbing in to her food encrusted jowls, as the tears spilled down her glistening wattle. Next, came the frail but fashionable "after" model, held up by helpers as she hadn't eaten since she was nine years old to stave off the first signs of the onset of puberty and remove any possibility that she might end up shaped vaguely feminine in readiness for this photo shoot.
Then the lunch bell rang. The sheet came off the buffet table. The skinny model requested to be sat next to the smorgasbord of comestibles in an effort to convince people that she does eat sometimes and that all was well.
The larger of the two ladies, being in such a frenzy to fill the ever widening internal maw of self loathing, consumed wholesale, all that laid before her, it wasn't until after the dust from the interminable Bacchanalian feasting had settled that it was realised the skinny model was nowhere to be seen.
It was quickly realised that she would be too weak to have transported herself from the room, so a quick check between floor boards, sofa-backs and side boards was made to no avail.
The Hutt-esque lard mountainess was questioned, she claimed to have eaten too quick to notice what had gone down during the feeding frenzy, upon deeper probing she became resentful and broke from the room, damaging a wall in the process. She was followed across a busy intersection, flattening several cars whilst making good her escape into the park.
She was eventually tracked down by Police marksmen to a local zoo where she was found asleep in the now empty manatee tank, sleeping of another light snack.
Authorities are awaiting results of aDNA tests from a shovel full of the models stool sample.
It may well appear that inside this poor unfortunate fatty, there really is a skinny woman screaming to get out.
