Tiger To Marry Again Right After Divorce Finalized

Funny story written by Bureau

Tuesday, 3 August 2010

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Balls!

The latest from the Tiger is that he will be marrying good-times gal Rachel Uchitel right after his divorce is finalized.

Then an explosion went off as Elin Nordegren, the present Mrs. Tiger Woods, stated that she would not put up with her small children around that woman!

A Source has told tabloids that Elin saw a red-hot text message between the two lovers (just like back last year at Thanksgiving) that revealed the 34-year-old father of two and Rachel, 35, were taking the sleep aid Ambien to improve their sex lives.

"When this happened", continued the Source, "Elin stated that Tiger Woods must have become a complete idiot not to leave messages for others to read, especial personal messages. She is gathering up everything she can to keep Tiger away from their kids and she is getting quite a collection."

"Apparently, for the present, Tiger and Rachel had wanted to keep it all a secret, but once his divorce from Elin is final, they plan to get married," the source divulged.

"Now I guess everybody knows."

And is all this affecting his golf game?

Well, in the last four tournaments, even with Ambien, he isn't scoring many 69's.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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