The Solar Tsunami Headed Toward Earth: What NASA Isn't Saying

Funny story written by Charpa93

Tuesday, 3 August 2010

image for The Solar Tsunami Headed Toward Earth: What NASA Isn't Saying

From Astronomy Daily:

While NASA is trying to get our attention by telling us a Solar Tsunami is nothing to worry about and will only be responsible for bringing the Aurora Borealis further south for viewing, the very fact that the term tsunami is being used should tip us off that this is no ordinary magnetic field headed our way. We saw the effects of the tsunami that hit Indonesia and it was not all pink and green ribbons of light. It was death and destruction. If you're going to use a word like tsunami, you better be ready to back it up with facts, which NASA unfortunately cannot.

A tip off that something bigger than just a pretty light show in the night sky is that NASA is putting off repairs of the space station until Friday. Hmmm, wonder why? Is that a wait-and-see attitude? Why spend the money on the space station if it's going to be obliterated Wednesday morning? Hmmm? Just a hunch.

All NASA does know is a larger than normal solar flare was spotted on the surface of the Sun and it is headed toward Earth and should reach us by early in the morning on August 4th. If you are one of those people who wait until the Vernal Equinox in spring to stand an egg on its head, then you will be that much more interested in this event.

Just what the flare will produce, of course, is a mystery. The most anyone can say is that it will produce green and pink ribbons across the sky and be visible to anyone living in the northernmost part of the country as long as they aren't in a highly-lit area. However, if you've been fortunate enough to see NASA's photographs of the flare, what it looks like is a giant fiery door that is headed our way and our imagination tells us that anything or anyone that passes through it, if they do not get burned beyond recognition, will have witnessed one of the most amazing things in their lifetime, that and your cell phones and iPods and other electronic devices won't work too well as the doorway reaches our atmosphere.

So, whether you decide to boldly stand outdoors in the wee hours of the morning of August 4th hoping to catch a glimpse of this solar tsunami, or you decide to cower under your bed and hope to hell our imaginations are wrong, either way, it's coming and there's really nothing anyone can do about it.

Next week, we'll discuss that errant asteroid that's been headed our way for decades.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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