Written by Stevey G.

Tuesday, 3 August 2010

image for Big Brother 11 update. 24 hours after arrival of Rose West
We're still watching You Rose West

It's day 55 in the Big Brother House and almost 24 hours since the introduction of convicted serial killer Rosemary (Rose) West as the most recent 'housemate'.

See report 'Convicted Serial Killer becomes latest housemate on Big Brother 11'.

The Spoof.com has examined the rolling news from the last 24 hours and has pieced together the following, which might make Endemol question the sanity of their latest publicity stunt.

Day 55. 00.59am The housemates are asleep. Dave gets up and goes to the bathroom. Rose gets up and follows. The camera in the bathroom malfunctions. Rose returns to the bedroom.

Day 55. 03.15am The housemates are still asleep. Josie and Mario sneak off into the bathroom, giggling. Rose gets up and follows. The camera is still not working. Some banging and knocking (perhaps someone's mending the camera?). Rose returns to the bedroom.

Day 55. 06.15am John Jones goes into the bathroom and cuts his foot on a loose floor tile. The camera now appears to be working but the drains seem to be blocked and the toilet will not flush.

Day 55. 08.30am After breakfast Andrew, Rachel, Sam and Jo go to enjoy the hot-tub. Rose follows. The camera in the garden malfunctions. (what's wrong with these damn cameras today?).

Day 55. 09.30am. Rose returns to the kitchen.Camera now working in the garden. Mysteriously the cover has been put on the hot-tub and an 'out of order' sign put by it. The housemates will not be pleased!

Day 55. 10.30am. Steve, JJ and John James are lounging in the Wooden Hideaway. Rose enters and appears to cover the camera. Some muffled noises can be heard.

Day 55. 11.30am. Rose finds Corin in the lounge area and asks if she would help with her 'patio re-laying' task.

Day 55. 01.15pm. Rose is on the patio and appears to be re-pointing after her patio re-laying task. Good Job Rose! Strangely, no sign of Corin who was supposed to be helping.

Day 55. 01.30pm There appear to be armed police in the BB House. What's going on? All the cameras malfunction................

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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