Adverts for sex workers to be banned from local job centre

Funny story: Adverts for sex workers to be banned from local job centre

The ConDem coalition has finally got something right. A spokesman reportedly said, "We cannot allow such overt exploitation to occur and the placing of such adverts will be discontinued. In addition this will cut the number of Eastern European imm...

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Spoof Writer Amazed At Own Work

Funny story: Spoof Writer Amazed At Own Work

Spoof writer, Guy Bellefonte, has been in awe of his recent work. Articles like Mel Gibson Hates Month of Jew-Lie and Rogue Angel Tells All About God & Heaven have had limited success on The Spoof, leaving Bellefonte beside himself. "I really...

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Terrorist Sabotage? Third Oil Leak In Michigan

Funny story: Terrorist Sabotage? Third Oil Leak In Michigan

People in Southern Michigan are beginning to feel like those on the Gulf of Mexico as crews were working Monday to contain and clean up an estimated 900,000 gallons of oil that has already coated birds and fish as it poured into a creek and flowed in...

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Fourteen New Michael Jackson Songs Discovered!

Funny story: Fourteen New Michael Jackson Songs Discovered!

In news that shocked the recording industry today, a recording was discovered by someone cleaning out the estate of the late pop star. When it was played back, an amazed clean up crew heard Michael Jackson's voice from about ten years ago, it has now...

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As death toll in floods exceeds 1500 Pak Prez Mr. 10% Zardari goes with begging bowl to Sarkozy while threatening Cameron

Funny story: As death toll in floods exceeds 1500 Pak Prez Mr. 10% Zardari goes with begging bowl to Sarkozy while threatening Cameron

PUKISTAN - More than 1500 innocent lives have been lost in the worst monsoon flood in 30 years. Tens of thousands more have been displaced. Not a single so-called (mis)government head has bothered to visit the site of devastation or made arrange...

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Bush Invited to Campaign

Funny story: Bush Invited to Campaign

Retired President George W Bush announced today he has accepted an invitation to make campaign stops throughout the Midwest in support of his fellow Republicans. "I am delighted to have extended this invitation," said a Democratic Party organizer,...

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Kara DioGuardi Visits Casey James after Being Fired by Idol

Funny story: Kara DioGuardi Visits Casey James after Being Fired by Idol

Kara DioGuardi was praying for a reason to get back in touch with her favorite American Idol, Casey James, after he was booted from the show. Her prayers were answered. DioGuardi was recently told that her contract wouldn't be renewed and she'd no lo...

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BP: Fishies and Birdies Can Live in Oil Just as Well as Water

The BP oil corporation announced today that according to their scientists, engineers, and researchers - who apparently are smoking whatever their erstwhile "fearless" leader Hayward was imbibing - that fishies and birdies, and, indeed, all of God's c...

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Chelsea's wedding day hits a 'sticky patch'

Funny story: Chelsea's wedding day hits a 'sticky patch'

Former President, Bill Clinton, must have had a feeling of 'deja-vu' at the weekend, during a rather uncomfortable moment at his daughter's wedding reception. The fairy-tale wedding, between former first daughter, Chelsea Clinton (30) and Marc Mez...

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The Hoax is Over!

Funny story: The Hoax is Over!

The time has come to confess all. It is amazing how a fantasy can take hold in a country and become 'the truth'. Of course, there was no Coalition between the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats. People really fell for that. I mean, it was jus...

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Isle of Wight man amazed to be only Twitter friend of rapper Kanye West

Funny story: Isle of Wight man amazed to be only Twitter friend of rapper Kanye West

Cowes - (Local Mess): An Isle of Wight man has become an online sensation after US rap star Kanye West began following him on social nitworking site Twitter. Ventnor Alms Houses resident Reggie Postlethwaite, 69, was said to be gobsmacked yesterda...

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Vicar Advocates Swearing In Church!

Funny story: Vicar Advocates Swearing In Church!

A Vicar has urged the Church to get "stretwise"--by encouraging worshippers to SWEAR. Rev Mick 'fuckin' watch it' Bland, 67 and ageing fast, risked controversy by claiming Jesus regularly swore like a f***ing trooper. "Listen pal" said the Rev Mi...

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Tax Credits a-go-go!

Funny story: Tax Credits a-go-go!

In yet another stunning Dickensian shake up from the rip-snorting, myopic sighted and thoroughly brain dead Coalition Government, Ian Clunkhead Smith has announced more welfare cuts!This time the boyo is getting stuck into Tax Credits and intends to...

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Mark Lowton is staring at me

Funny story: Mark Lowton is staring at me

I sit here writing, and all the while I fear for my life. Mark Lowton stares at me. I try to concentrate on something other than his gaze but it is impossible not to be unnerved by his demonic eyes. Those cold, emotionless peepers focused on me. Those same cold emotionless eyes with their almost non-existent eyebrows. Those high cheekbones. High as a soaring eagle. Don Henley in a gl...

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Texas Mother of Twins Asks For DNA Test Claims She Isnt The Mother

Mesquite TX - A Mesquite mother of twins claims she isnt the mother of the babies born two weeks ago and demands DNA tests to prove it. Doctor Phil Good from The Texas Regional Medical Center explains " the mother is the mother I delivered them, b...

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Lasance "Would Marry" Gerrard

Australian actor Todd Lasance has revealed he would like to marry his long term girlfriend, Girls Aloud singer Nadine Coyle. In an interview on Australian chat show The 7PM Project, Lasance said "Nadine and I don't speak about our relationship, w...

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Iran Bombs Tehran by Mistake Nuclear Test a Failure

Tehran- A nuclear explosion rocked Tehran Iran this morning. Sources in the capitol blames failed missile test for the destruction. At 5:00 am cst this morning an explosion and mushroom cloud were reported over the capitol. Speculation was Israel...

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Phil Mickelson Reminds Public of How Little Sex He Has

(August 2, 2010 - San Diego, CA) - PGA Tour mainstay Phil Mickelson was joined by his publicist, Jimmy Whitlock, as he addressed the media during a press conference outside of his home early Monday morning. The purpose of the gathering was to announc...

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Who the Hell Needs Two Effin Wedding Gowns?

Funny story: Who the Hell Needs Two Effin Wedding Gowns?

The groom only wore one tuxedo. Everyone in attendance at the wedding wore only one outfit, with the exception of maybe one or two women bringing a more comfortable pair of shoes to wear during the reception. So it begs the question, why did Chelsea Clinton need two expensive designer wedding dresses to get hitched? They are both Vera Wangs, so it can't be because one of them is a beautiful one...

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France bans fat tourists

Funny story: France bans fat tourists

France, the world's most visited country, will no longer allow fat tourists to step foot on French soil. The announcement made by the newly-founded Paris-based 'Fatties-Stay-At-Home' association has rocked airlines, shipping lines and internationa...

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Hyman Haven

Funny story: Hyman Haven

Increasing numbers of Muslim brides are having taxpayer funded (naturally!) 'virginity' repair operations before marriage.There were 116,000 hymen replacement operations carried out in Bradford Royal Infirmary before lunch this morning, an increase o...

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Dallas Cowboys' Miles Austin, Who Is Dating Kim Kardashian, Says Teammate Tony Romo May Get Back Together With His Ex Jessica Simpson

Funny story: Dallas Cowboys' Miles Austin, Who Is Dating Kim Kardashian, Says Teammate Tony Romo May Get Back Together With His Ex Jessica Simpson

SAN ANTONIO - The Dallas Cowboys are conducting their pre-season training camp in The Alamo City. A reporter for Quarterback Sack Illustrated Magazine, Rufus "Gatorade" Winterwinkle, said that Cowboys wide receiver, Miles Austin, told him that quarte...

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Fatwa declared on 'over-zealous' Traffic Warden

Funny story: Fatwa declared on 'over-zealous' Traffic Warden

An over-zealous traffic warden is in hiding today after a 'Fatwa' was declared by an Islamic cleric. Kensington and Chelsea warden, Norman Jobsworth, unwittingly targeted high-profile cars belonging to Qatar's ruling Al-Thani family. The cars,...

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Success the American way

Funny story: Success the American way

Americans are fast learning that, if you want to get ahead in life, you have to double cross people. Accountants, surveyors, doctors, economists, lawyers and even street sweepers are programmed at a young age to stab their fellow human beings in t...

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Jacqui: the Naked Truth

Funny story: Jacqui: the Naked Truth

Jacqui Smith, the former Home Secretary and former M.P. is heading for the limelight again. This time she is becoming controller of both the BBC and Channel 5 - AT THE SAME TIME! The two channels are expected to merge as a result and the whole BBC...

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Pentland Firth 'teeming with Pyongyang sub frogmen' as Queen disembarks Western Isles cruise yacht

Funny story: Pentland Firth 'teeming with Pyongyang sub frogmen' as Queen disembarks Western Isles cruise yacht

Scotland - (Terminal News): Royal Protection Racket police appear nonplussed by this morning's sighting of the North Korean hit squad. The gang is believed to be a personal birthday gift to Charles from wackjob dictator Kim Jong Very Ill Indeed.

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Convicted Serial Killer becomes latest 'housemate' on Big Brother 11

Funny story: Convicted Serial Killer becomes latest 'housemate' on Big Brother 11

In a desperate attempt to improve disappointing ratings in this, the very last series of Big Brother, the latest housemate has been introduced to the house on day 54, convicted serial killer Rosemary (Rose) West. Rose West was convicted, in 1995,...

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Paris Hilton Puts Out New Perfume, Nookie #9

Funny story: Paris Hilton Puts Out New Perfume, Nookie #9

A new perfume is being introduced by a company owned by Paris Hilton that is slightly different than most. She is calling it, Nookie #9. Many a critic has talked about this "Airhead" lady and she let's on that it's true. Meantime she cleans up as...

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Laden wants to surrender!

Sick and tired of hiding in cold unfriendly mountains with nothing but hairy goats and filthy smelly yaks for company and eating raw turnips and roast potatoes morning day and night, Osama Bin Laden is homesick and yearns for free air and chilly wind...

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My 7 Billion Pound Win

Funny story: My 7 Billion Pound Win

'I realise not everybody can win in the Lottery but you must admit I deserve my Seven Billion Pound win!' declared the Chief Executive of Bonus Bank Limited. We sat over a glass of Champagne in an exclusive club in Mayfair celebrating Jeremiah Win...

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Forcasting events

I just do not know why people are making such a gaga about Paul the octopus. What is so big in eating and predicting,eh ? I'll tell you a better way to predict and forecast anything you want to. Take a big saucer, about a foot and half in diameter, two small cups and sugar and salt. Fill the two cups with pure madeira upto the brim. Put salt in one and sugar in the other. That done,...

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Russell Brand taken up the rear by Big Dick - Katy Perry Livid

Funny story: Russell Brand taken up the rear by Big Dick - Katy Perry Livid

Katy Perry is livid at the news that her new husband, and wild man of comedy, Russell Brand has been shunted up the rear by a lorry driver in Los Angeles. Brand was driving Perry's £165,000 Lamborghini Moustache along the Freeway in Los Angeles wh...

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Sherlock - The Blind Banker - All Good - Bring On The Great Game

Funny story: Sherlock - The Blind Banker - All Good - Bring On The Great Game

More plaudits for the BBC this am for hitting a winning formula and failing to capitalise on it. Three episodes of Sherlock? Not enough. The public want - nay demand - more. Last night's episode enlightened millions of tea drinkers as to how to...

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Mama Bear Euthanized (Killed)

Funny story: Mama Bear Euthanized (Killed)

Real sad news for bear lovers this morning, as news emerges that the Mama bear whose cub got caught up in a camper's fishing net (as seen on worldwide TV) has been euthanized. Killed. Put down. Poor ole Momma Bear, who went on the offensive...

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New Jersey Governor Chris Christie Threatens To Cut Off The Electricity To The Jersey Shore TV Show

Funny story: New Jersey Governor Chris Christie Threatens To Cut Off The Electricity To The Jersey Shore TV Show

TRENTON, New Jersey - The Governor of The Garden State has once again asked the producers of The Jersey Shore reality show to please leave his state immediately. Governor Chris Christie said that the group has become an embarrassment to the honest...

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Inception Tops Box Office Chart For Third week Running - Pattinson And Stewart Furious

Funny story: Inception Tops Box Office Chart For Third week Running - Pattinson And Stewart Furious

As Leonardo DiCaprio tops the movie chart for the third week running with dream theft fantasy flick - 'Inception' the marginally talentless stars of the Twilight saga, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have had some pretty hardcore questions to as...

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Spongebob and Patrick: The Prophesized Heralds of Order vs. Chaos.

Funny story: Spongebob and Patrick: The Prophesized Heralds of Order vs. Chaos.

I was thinking about Spongebob Squarepants, and their "bringing balance to Bikini Bottom" prophecy, and general character alignments, and realized that while you can neatly map Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick Star to good and evil (Mr. Squidward's confusion notwithstanding), you can't map them so neatly to order and chaos. Patrick represents a chaotic organization. He thrives on emotional cha...

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American Idol's Ryan Seacrest Wants His Girlfriend Julianne Hough To Take Kara DioGuardi's Place

Funny story: American Idol's Ryan Seacrest Wants His Girlfriend Julianne Hough To Take Kara DioGuardi's Place

HOLLYWOOD - Ryan Seacrest was sitting in his dressing room at the American Idol studios talking to his hairdresser FuFi Fondue about all of the changes taking place on this seasons American Idol. Fufi, who is one of the most sought after hair styl...

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Simon Cowell Changes Mind after J-Lo Becomes Judge

Funny story: Simon Cowell Changes Mind after J-Lo Becomes Judge

It didn't take long to get a reaction from Simon Cowell after news broke that Jennifer Lopez (J-Lo) is going to take Ellen Degeneres' and/or Kara DioGuardi's spot on American Idol next season. "I want back in," was Cowell's response. "I've been in lo...

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Emma Watson & Daniel Radcliffe - Nude Beach & Bubble Bath Pics Not For Publication

Funny story: Emma Watson & Daniel Radcliffe - Nude Beach & Bubble Bath Pics Not For Publication

Sources today confirmed with a 93% degree of probability that naked shots of Harry Potter stars Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson, on the beach and enjoying a bubble bath do actually exist. Then went on to say that these pictures would never see th...

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Dynamite by Taio Cruz Covered by the Fresh Beats Band

Funny story: Dynamite by Taio Cruz Covered by the Fresh Beats Band

Often, marginal pop songs are rerecorded (or 'covered', as the cool kids call it) by up-and-coming bands, in an attempt to squirt a bit of limelight onto their own careers. And, every once in a while, a cover song comes along that is transcendant...

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Kathy "The Red Cougar" Griffin Denies She Caused Bristol Palin To Break Her Engagement To Levi Johnston

Funny story: Kathy "The Red Cougar" Griffin Denies She Caused Bristol Palin To Break Her Engagement To Levi Johnston

OSHKOSH, Wisconsin - Kathy Griffin, star of My Life On The D List, had just finished her stand up comedy routine at the Gorgonzola Cheese Balls Theater, when she was asked about the reports that Bristol Palin was saying that the reason she broke off...

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India to produce $50 lightweight drones

Funny story: India to produce $50 lightweight drones

NEW DELHI: India is on a roll. First it was the $2500 Tata Nano - the world's cheapest car; then it was the $35 iPad - the world's cheapest laptop. Now in another marvel the Indian Armed Forces will be inducting micro and mini unmanned aerial ve...

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Kara DioGuardi Sobs and Says She Plans To Sue American Idol

Funny story: Kara DioGuardi Sobs and Says She Plans To Sue American Idol

MALIBU BEACH - Kara DioGuardi was sitting in her $3.8 million beach home sipping on a Pomegranate Margarita and talking to her maid Sushi Ling. DioGuardi told Sushi that she still cannot believe that she had been fired from American Idol. Miss Lin...

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Isle Of Wight News - Ryde's Weirdo Mannequin Man Taken Away In Van

Funny story: Isle Of Wight News - Ryde's Weirdo Mannequin Man Taken Away In Van

For many years, Ryde man, 'Captain' Gilbert Grapefruit has been regarded as an amiable local eccentric, what with his perambulations along Ryde Esplanade wearing a sailor hat, blowing a whistle, and hoisting flags whenever the situation availed itsel...

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H&R Block Settles Express IRA Lawsuit for $19.1 Million, Deny Any Wrongdoing. HA! (Sorry, that was improper. I... I'm sorry.)

Funny story: H&R Block Settles Express IRA Lawsuit for $19.1 Million, Deny Any Wrongdoing. HA! (Sorry, that was improper. I... I'm sorry.)

The deadline to submit claims against H&R Block regarding the Express IRA product sold for years by tax professionals ended at midnight, July 30, 2010, and new claims are no longer being accepted, this according to expressirasettlement.web The...

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NBA Star Dennis Rodman Beats Range Rover To Death On Florida Highway

Funny story: NBA Star Dennis Rodman Beats Range Rover To Death On Florida Highway

Hugely underrated NBA Dennis Rodman was involved in a physical altercation with a green Range Rover this weekend. Sources close to Dennis say the former NBA star was the passenger in a green Range Rover traveling on I-95 in Fort Lauderdale, FL whe...

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Jack Duckworth Whacked In Corrie Tram Slam Disaster

Funny story: Jack Duckworth Whacked In Corrie Tram Slam Disaster

It's the worst kept secret in Soapland - we all know that there's going to be an apocalyptic tram disaster in Coronation Street, involving the viaduct on Viaduct Street collapsing, and a tram slamming into the corner shop and the Kabin. With great...

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The Whole World Is Now Following Me On Twitter!

Funny story: The Whole World Is Now Following Me On Twitter!

There was astonishing news earlier this morning when I opened up my Gmail account and discovered that more-or-less the whole world was following me on Twitter! Over the past six months or so, a steady trickle of of emails have arrived in my inbox...

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Troubled Former Child Star Bubbles The Chimp Hospitalized After Second Suicide Attempt

Funny story: Troubled Former Child Star Bubbles The Chimp Hospitalized After Second Suicide Attempt

Former child star Bubbles the Chimp, famous for his live-in relationship with 80s one-hit-wonder Michael Jackson, is currently being treated after attempting suicide today at the Men's Central Jail in Los Angeles, authorities said. Bubbles is in c...

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Blackpool FC Face New Drama Over Donkey Droppings

Funny story: Blackpool FC Face New Drama Over Donkey Droppings

Premier League newboys, Blackpool FC, may have made it back into football's big time, but their long-suffering fans may have to wait just a tad longer to see their heroes in action, after FA executives put a block on the club playing at home until a...

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Brits Shocked By Bill Clinton's Gaunt Appearance At Chelsea's Wedding

Funny story: Brits Shocked By Bill Clinton's Gaunt Appearance At Chelsea's Wedding

While the Chelsea Clinton wedding may have grabbed the headlines in the States, here in the UK the gossip columnists were far more interested in the appearance of the father of the bride. "He doesn't look very well, does he? Poor love," said Londo...

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Watch Out! Marlon King's About!

Funny story: Watch Out! Marlon King's About!

There was much 'looking-over-the-shoulders' on the London nightclub ciruit over the weekend, after the news that former Wigan Athletic striker Marlon King, jailed for sexual assault last October, had been released into the general population. King...

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What Sarah Palin will do to Pakistan if she becomes Prez

Funny story: What Sarah Palin will do to Pakistan if she becomes Prez

WASSILA - ALASKA: Will she or won't she? Big Momma Grizzly Sarah Palin has suddenly become coy regarding her potential 2012 Prez run. Supporters for the woman who got her 15-minutes-of-fame when 'Crazy' John McCain nominated her as his running mat...

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Letters to US Presidents - From the American People

Funny story: Letters to US Presidents - From the American People

Scholars doing research at the USA'S various presidential libraries have discovered letters written to the former presidents by ordinary citizens. Three examples are provided for President Richard M Nixon, President William J Clinton and President Barack H Obama (sitting president without a presidential library). Dear President Nixon: It has come to my attention that you have dispatched a group...

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Lady Gaga And Susan Boyle To Tour

Funny story: Lady Gaga And Susan Boyle To Tour

Lady Gaga has stunned her fans this morning with the news that she will tour later this year with Britain's Got Talent chump Susan Boyle on a Europe-wide schedule that will take in all of the continent's major capitals. The tour, provisionally nam...

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Last Remaining Liberal Hospitalized

Funny story: Last Remaining Liberal Hospitalized

Rochester MN: The last "progressive" (Democratic far left liberal) was admitted to the Mayo Clinic today. The person, identity unknown, is in the last stages of Pelosi's Disease. Pelosi's Disease sometimes called the Obama Syndrome eventually caus...

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