Vladimir Putin Spoof News

27 February 2020

Putin to arrive in New York; will take over US

Thanks to the alert reporting of MSNBC, we now know the Russian plan is not simply to interfere with US elections. It wants to completely take over the country—next week. Mr. Putin has said he will probably reside in Trump Tower in New York, an...

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Russia Wants Trump To Get Re-Elected and Donates $67.5 Million To His Re-Election Campaign

NEW YORK CITY – The New York Sun Observer is reporting that a reliable source inside the White House has just revealed some very interesting information. The source who will simply be known as Finola Sprywillow, 31, told the Sun Observer that she...

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Trump and Putin Secretly Agree To Allow Trump To Build A 101-Story Trump Tower In Moscow

MOSCOW – One of Moscow’s leading daily newspapers, The Moscow Red Press, has just announced that a 101-story Trump Tower will be built right across from the Kremlin. The Red Press learned of the deal from one of Russia’s top ballerinas, Sofilana N...

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Bolton flees to Canada claiming Assange as precedent

Insider sources indicate Mr. Bolton is claiming he is in the position of Julian Assange, currently languishing in Belmarsh Prison, London. Mr. Bolton was spotted in a Continental Trailways bus entering Canada at the Detroit-Windsor border wearing...

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Trump To Present Worst Actor Oscar At Academy Awards

Insisting that his bone spurs weren’t acting up, seemingly in remission, and that he was available to present an award, the Academy of Motion Pictures reluctantly agreed to invite Donald Trump to present the Worst Actor award. Mr. Trump was more t...

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Santa Putin

Sung by Donald Trump, in his negligee. Santa Putin, just slip some oppo on Joe Biden, For me. Been a really useful tool, Santa Putin, So hurry down my chimney tonight. Santa Putin, the 2020 election too, For my coup. I'll wait up for you d...

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To avoid conflicts of interest, Donald Trump tweets he will move all his businesses to Russia

Morgan Freeman Offers To Be Trump's Voice and Human Avatar

Vladimir Putin Disables Theresa May With Handshake And A Kiss

Putin Tells Trump He Didn't Mess With The 2016 Presidential Election

DemocRATs want to live large "like Putin"

Putin Tells Trump: "James Comey Was One Of Ours"

Obama Calls Putin "A Big Doo-Doo Head"

Putin Praised By Senator For Hairy Chest

Trump Not Sure About Whether He's Sure About Russia Or Not

Trump Successfully Debriefed by KGB

President Trump Creates Ministry of Truth: Names Shiv Aalok Minister of Truth

Ratting Out Trump

Putin hacked the Super Bowl

Moscow - Putin held a parade in Red Square Monday to celebrate the KGB victory in America's Super Bowl. Whistle-blower Alexakranicov Lexippenin reports that the Bose head sets were "totally hacked, comrade! " He explained how Putin gained total c...

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Poozleosi Rips Up Speech: Like Hitler Tearing Up Treaty of Versailles

BILLINGSGATE POST: Nancy Poozleosi had a bad day. Some would say it may have been the wrong time of the month. However, her being 79 years old, makes that unlikely. Other pundits, upon seeing her hand strength in tearing up more three pages at a t...

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Harry Maguire To Meet President Donald Trump

White House sources say that President Donald Trump is to hold conference talks with new Manchester United signing, fresh-faced, good-looking golden boy, and 'brick shithouse', Harry Maguire. The pair will talk on a variety of issues, including f...

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Donald Trump Releases His Highlight Reel and Requires all His Followers to Buy it and Watch it Daily

A new object in every Republican's DVD player will be the President's new highlight reel, released in a huge ceremony on Thursday. President Trump is explaining to his followers that if they don't buy the DVD, then they are just aiding the enemy.

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FBI detains Trump family pet poodle; canine said to be cooperating with investigators

Washington, DC In another sign that the Mueller team charges with investigating Russian Collusion is closing in in the President himself, the French Poodle “Fifi”, a gift from the President to his wife Melania, has been detained by FBI special age...

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Putin says he will obtain Podesta Mail Server for his good buddy Trump.com™ on behalf of FBI

After the G20 Bromance Love-In that went for 13 hours non-stop Putin has agreed to help his new best buddy with this pesky Clinton problem. During their intimate time together Putin applauded him on nuking Comey, that is the sort of stuff he would...

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Trump Is Putin's Lackey

Again, the medium Maude Smithie of Los Angeles claims to have channeled the voice of the 20th century cynic and satirist H.L. Menken. I present what he allegedly said because, at least to this reporter, it seems plausible. Says Menken: "In his...

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Trump Allegedly Had The Democratic Iowa Primary Election Hacked

DES MOINES, Iowa – An unnamed source is reporting that an unnamed source is alleging that President Trump has had a hand in what many are calling “The Big Iowa Primary Mess From Hell.” An individual who will be simply known as “Simple Simon” says...

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Trump to Build 90-Mile Bridge to Cuba

Key West, Fl - Donald Trump announced today from Trump Tower that he has reached agreement with Russian President Vladimir Putin to build a 90-mile bridge from Key West to Cuba to be named the Castro-Kennedy Bridge. The bridge is expected to be comp...

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Putin denies he is riding on Trumps back to World Domination

Despite secret photographs being leaked to the media of Putin riding Trump in the forests behind his dacha, predictably Putin has categorically denied this and is willing to swear on a stack of bibles that the picture is of another pair out riding. P...

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Trump and Putin Play Mini Golf in Helsinki

Russian president Vladimir Putin and US president Donald Trump played mini golf Monday in Helsinki. It was during their summit, the part where they were supposed to meet alone. The official business part of their meeting didn’t take long as Putin...

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Putin's Revenge: How He Wired Trump's Albino Raccoon Hairpiece

BILLINGSGATE POST: If albino raccoons could talk, this might be a story that would raise eyebrows in Washington: Ever since Davy Crockett skinned a raccoon and placed its fur on top his head, this animal has provided men of the frontier with war...

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Joe Biden Doesn’t Pass Sniff Test: Muffs On Wife’s Hair

BILLINGSGATE POST: Joe Biden muffed when attempting to identify his wife’s hair. In a staged test set up by the Democrat National Committee, Biden was asked to correctly identify the hair of a number of randomly selected Individuals that included h...

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Indictments of 12 Russians = ham on rye plus gooseberry cream pie and deep chocolate latte

"A grand jury can indict a ham sandwich" has once again emerged to dominate American politics. Last Friday, Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, acting for Mr. Mueller’s investigation, indicted twelve Russians as suspects in the Russian collusi...

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