Putin Invaded Ukraine for "Sumthin’ To Do"

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Wednesday, 20 April 2022

image for Putin Invaded Ukraine for "Sumthin’ To Do"
Not Gay Bromance We Swear

A Russian insider who cannot be named has told this reporter that Vladimir Putin has only invaded Ukraine “for something to do while waiting for Trump to come back.”

The Russian mole hinted that there exists a deep bromance between the two fascists, and that if (or when) Trump becomes president again, Vlad is seriously thinking about popping the question.

When asked what that question was, the mole told me, “You know how people who are super racist are deep-down actually attracted to those they hate? Like that old racist white guy in the American government – Strom Thurmond – who kept secret that he had a secret black lover and half-black daughter? Well, the same happens with those who are rabidly anti-gay. Vlad and The Donald totally queen-out behind closed doors!”

I asked what the term “queen-out” meant, but the mole refused to elaborate, saying he had said too much.

He added: “Maybe it’s not a gay thing. Maybe Trump and Putin intend to seriously start a World War! Think about it: their only competition would be China – which is on their side anyway, so it’s not too much of a threat – and the United Nations. That’s why Putin’s so pissed right now. He doesn’t want U.N. countries getting stronger while he’s waiting for “Donny Boy”, as Vlad has termed his best buddy."

And so the whole world waits for 2024 ... since it may be the end of the world as we know.

Please feel free to play that song by R.E.M.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more