Why is Putin shrinking?

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Sunday, 25 June 2023

image for Why is Putin shrinking?
"We are not part of the Wagner Group."

Vladimir Putin appears to be shrinking after his close call from Wagner Group owner Yevgeny Prigozhin. Seems Prigozhin threatened to march to Moscow and take on Putin. Prigozhin, a former hot-dog stand operator, was super pissed.

One did not have to understand Russian to translate his tirade, but Mr. Putin must have headed to his bunker.

Who is this owner of the Wagner Group, threatening Putin, reading him off in public, spitting out adjectives (no subtitles necessary) while tall, blond, and handsome political critic Alexei Navalny is sitting in jail?

Moreover, is the Wagner Group in any way related to the composer?

Caramba, Russia, gets confusing! Former Russian lit professor knew all Russia's in's and out's, but not available.

Abbreviated history lesson: Seems Prigozhin was jailed for doing something, and after his release, he opened a hot dog stand in Moscow—a clear example of rehabilitation.

Miraculously, Prigozhin jumped from running a hot dog stand to running a five-star restaurant in Moscow, catering to the rich and famous (President George Bush and wife Laura), catching the eye of Vladimir Putin along his career climb, and appointed in charge of providing food for the Russian army.

From food caterer of the Russian army, Prigozhin jumped to forming the Wagner Group, a mercenary army of Russian incarcerated criminals, given the choice of continued jail time or joining the Wagner Group and fighting in Russia's trouble spots. Ukraine included.

Putin's army fired missiles at the Wagner Group in Ukraine, killing thousands, and that's when Prigozhin got pissed, vowed to march to Moscow, and have it out with Putin. Putin ran for his bunker.

Belarus stepped in to calm the waters, Prigozhin announced a U-turn back to Ukraine, and Putin came out of his bunker.

Shorter.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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