Thingies In The News Today

Funny story written by rfreed

Wednesday, 22 February 2023

image for Thingies In The News Today

These are real headlines from the news, the comments; unreal imaginings inspired by them-

Love Bites Vampire Ball, Saturday, Feb. 11, Cloverdale Funeral Home, Boise, Idaho

BYOV-Bring Your Own Victim…….


Russia Tells French President Macron: Don’t Forget Napoleon When You Talk Of Regime Change!

Personally I was thinking more along the lines of Stalin….


My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3 Film Is happening!

What? I thought Onassis was only married twice!


What does the word ‘trump’ mean?

transitive verb. : to get the better of : override: to play a trump on (a card or trick) when another suit (like a lawsuit! ((This comment added by author, not Webster)) ) was led.


Gop Aid Convicted In Iowa Gets Prison for arranging Russian contribution to Trump.

That ‘contribution’ being several leading Democrats being ‘helped’ out of five story high hotel windows.


Box Office Milestone: Avatar 2 Sinks Titanic To Rank As #3 Biggest Movie Ever

Wow! James Cameron is going to be really pissed that his Titanic sunk twice!


Actors Strike At California Medieval-Themed Dinner Theater

Quote from actual actors there, “The company has blocked efforts to raise wages and


Improve safety.” Julia McCurdie, who also plays a Queen, said actors have been injured on the job. “I’ve seen a lot of knights get carried away in an ambulance. These people could go work at In-and-Out and make $25 without hurting their bodies.”

Wow! When it said they were striking I didn’t think they meant with swords!
Also, you can make $25 an hour working at In-And-Out? Where can I get an application?

One Year Into The War, Putin Is Crafting The Russia He Craves.

Yeah, an entire nation of hypnotized cannon fodder to feed the front lines!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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