Monkey Mayhem: Revisiting A Birthday Party Gone Bad
BILLINGSGATE POST: Over 15 years have passed since a couple were viciously attacked by two chimps while celebrating the 39th birthday of their son, Moe, in a California animal sanctuary. It is not a pretty story, but worth revisiting. By all acco…
Read full storyReport: Parliament considered invading the US, citing nation is in an “Existential Crisis”
LONDON - The recent uproar across the pond with issues such as the Coronavirus, systemic racism, and failures in leadership, have led to talks of a potential invasion of the US. “The situation in the United States is troubling, and may require full a…
Read full storyLocal Man Says He Hates His Black Neighbours
Local man Dougie Grimes has admitted today that he hates his new neighbours, and has no remorse for posting on social media about his feelings towards Blacks. "Every one of them is a good-for-nothing, lazy-ass turd. They play their music all nigh...
Read full storyDonald Trump Up To His Neck This Time
Donald Trump, by now, must have a rubber stamp that says I Wasn't Told. His latest I Wasn't Told excuse is about Russia paying Taliban terrorists a sum of money or a bounty if they were to kill American or Allied soldiers in Afghanistan. I Wasn't...
Read full storyWashington Monument Toppled by Protesters
Washington, D.C. A motley mob of demonstrators destroyed the Washington Monument early this morning, climaxing a week of toppled statues and defaced memorials. President Trump immediately announced that the monument would be restored to an upright po…
Read full storyBoris Johnson reveals exercise regime
This week, Prime Minister Boris Johnson was photographed doing a press-up to show how fit and healthy he is, despite his appearance. The PM's personal trainer, Geoff Ym, revealed exclusively to The Spoof the entire exercise regime he puts the PM thro...
Read full storyMom single-handedly keeping landline phones in existence
According to new data, Mom is single-handedly keeping landline phones in existence. Research findings published by Johns Hopkins University have revealed that 100 percent of worldwide landline telephone usage is conducted by your mom. “Most o…
Read full storyHamster not looking forward to children returning to school
Hamster, George Smyth the third, has said that he is not looking forward to the return of the kids, whenever that might be. 'Because lockdown happened so quickly, and because the kids couldn't leave the house, no rota has been sorted out for me li…
Read full storySpoof writer's fascination with Harry Maguire borders on Stalking!
Monkey Woods, renowned infamous Spoof writer, devout Yorkshireman, and Hull City die-hard supporter, has recently been observed as an obsessive Manchester United observer, because of one player, Harry Maguire! Jaggedone, a die-hard Manchester Unit…
Read full storyMould threatening to take over office
Quentin Smith, a four-month-old mould, who has been growing inside a coffee mug since lockdown began, has said that, if he continues to grow and develop, gaining hands, a brain and some way of communicating, he will be running the office before Chris…
Read full storyBurger King To Offer Free Designer Coronavirus Masks With Any Purchase
INDIANAPOLIS – A high-ranking official with Burger King has just announced a summertime promotion. Plans are for BK to begin offering customers free Coronavirus medical masks with any purchase of a Burger King product. The masks will come in t…
Read full storyThe University of Kentucky To Remove The Statue of Mitch McConnell
FRANKFORT, Kentucky – Senator Mitch McConnell has just been informed that his alma mater has voted to take down his his statue. McConnell, who is worth $30 million, expressed disbelief, and asked on what grounds was the statue being removed. Th…
Read full storyPresident Trump Hits Back at Roseanne Barr For Saying That He’s a Woman
SQUAW FACE, Arizona – President Trump was in Arizona checking out a golf course he may decide to buy. He was asked by the press what he thought about Roseanne Barr saying that he was a woman. Trump replied that Barr is nothing more than a has-b…
Read full storyMichael Jackson impersonator confused by Black Lives Matter
Geoff E'hee, 47, of Leeds, is a professional Michael Jackson impersonator. He recently gained modest fame when he joined a protest march in the city to support Black Lives Matter, dressed as the famous singer, but was chased away for wearing a form o…
Read full storySnake venom kills Covid-19 virus!
A Indian man wandering through his local jungle in India, carrying the coronavirus, failed to keep social distance with a sleeping viper basking in the sun. In fact, the man trod on its tail! In response, the viper made a slightly defensive response,...
Read full storyThe New England Patriots Have Just Signed Cam Newton To Replace Tom Brady
FOXBOROUGH, Massachusetts – There is joy in Bean Town today, as free agent quarterback, Cam Newton, has just been signed by the New England Patriots. The ex-Carolina Panther was thrilled beyond belief. He told his agent that he is as happy as kang…
Read full storyThe Rolling Stones Tell President Trump “No! No! No!”
NEW YORK CITY – Mick Jagger and Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones flew to the USA and had a talk with their publishing company. The two Stones, who said that they’re drug-free, remarked that they are not happy with the fact that Trump’s campaig…
Read full storyDennis Rodman Said He Face-Timed Kim Jong-un and He Was Shocked
MARINA DEL REY, California – Former NBA great Dennis Rodman was having lunch at the Drunk Duck Lounge in Marina del Rey, when he was approached by a reporter with the Hollywod Innuendo News Agency. Rodman was asked about his countless tattoos and…
Read full storyTrump To Stop Mail-In Voting
Yep! Knowing he’s on the way out, in a last-ditch effort, Donald Trump is going to try to quash, stop, prevent, do a Mexican hat dance on mail-in voting. Russian president, Vladimir Putin, can’t fix mail-in voting for Trump. In 2016, eight Intelli...
Read full storyManchester United Captain Harry Maguire Spoken To By Police In Connection With Fan Abduction Incident
Police in Norfolk have said they have spoken to the Manchester United captain and England defender, Harry Maguire, about an incident in which they say a fan was abducted outside Carrow Road after the FA Cup quarter-final tie between Norwich and Unit…
Read full storyMan Was Disappointed That It Wasn't Fish And Chips For Tea
A man who was absolutely famished and looking forward to sitting down to a plate of fish and chips for his tea last night, was disappointed to learn that, unfortunately, fish wasn't on the menu, due to his wife having arrived at the market too late.
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