Report: Parliament considered invading the US, citing nation is in an “Existential Crisis”

Written by Nick Combs

Monday, 29 June 2020

image for Report: Parliament considered invading the US, citing nation is in an “Existential Crisis”
Parliament debates over the future of the United States

LONDON - The recent uproar across the pond with issues such as the Coronavirus, systemic racism, and failures in leadership, have led to talks of a potential invasion of the US. “The situation in the United States is troubling, and may require full annexation of the country in order for the struggling nation to survive its existential crisis,” said one MP. Considering the country’s poor handling of the virus and many domestic issues, many military experts predict a successful takeover of all the country’s states and territories.

Rumors of this humanitarian intervention has been welcomed by many Americans, who stated that occupation could lead to the young nation achieving full democracy. In recent days, during the many nationwide protests, hundreds of Americans have added chants such as “Make Britain invade again”, and “lets have another Beatles invasion”. Local press coverage has revealed that Americans on both sides of the political spectrum overwhelmingly support returning to the UK. “I will gladly pay that silly tea tax if it means real leadership was to come. We take back all the nasty things we said about you, England. Please invade us. We won’t fight you this time,” said an anonymous American who was wearing a USA T-shirt inside out.

Economists predict that annexation could save both nations, as resources would be put together to combat the pandemic and the current economic crisis. Other experts note that current issues with the EU will be more easily resolved as Europe holds a higher respect towards the United States. It must be noted that such an invasion may not occur, as cabinet members expressed dismay that a successful annexation would technically result in Harry and Meghan returning to the United Kingdom.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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