FOXBOROUGH, Massachusetts – There is joy in Bean Town today, as free agent quarterback, Cam Newton, has just been signed by the New England Patriots.
The ex-Carolina Panther was thrilled beyond belief. He told his agent that he is as happy as kangaroo with a pocketful of kangaroo food.
Newton told reporters that he is kind of like Tom Brady, except that he's taller, nicer, and black.
Cam promised Coach Bill Belichick that he will be a textbook player, and he will not lose his temper, and yell at players, coaches, cheerleaders, or peanut vendors, like he did while playing for Carolina.
A spokesperson for the Patriots said that Newton’s one-year contract calls for him to be paid $7.48 million, plus he’ll also receive a one-year supply of the best Boston clam chowder on the entire Right Coast.
Newton assured Coach Bill that he won’t be giving away the football after every touchdown like he did when he was with the Panthers. He realizes that it can get a bit expensive.