There were 165 spoof news stories published in June 2017. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Should Mermaids Make More Money Than Mermen?

Funny story: Should Mermaids Make More Money Than Mermen?

"Absolutely not," said one merman. "I mean, mermaids are a dime a dozen, not rare or unique at all, so they just deserve a standard rate, right?" He continued, "Mermen, on the other hand, are unique and rare, and deserve to be paid premium rates."...

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132-Year-Old Lobster Sues, Claims Elder Abuse

Funny story: 132-Year-Old Lobster Sues, Claims Elder Abuse

Onlookers rejoiced recently when Louie the lobster, having lived the last 30 years of his life in a tank at a Long Island restaurant, was finally set free and returned to the ocean. But Louie is not a totally happy camper and has revealed that he...

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Budget airline introduce sexy "lap-dance" sessions to increase revenue!

Funny story: Budget airline introduce sexy "lap-dance" sessions to increase revenue!

Budget flights to and from Ibiza, Mallorca and other Brit, booze hotspots, are now offering a special form of activity on board! No more pathetic scratch cards, fast food over-priced snacks, rubbish tasting coffee or duty-free perfumes. No, for th...

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Schmidt & Weissen to produce bidirectional pistol

Funny story: Schmidt & Weissen to produce bidirectional pistol

Schmidt & Weissen, a major gun manufacturer in the US, is developing a bidirectional pistol. Paul Gant of Schmidt & Weissen says, "This is the only gun I'd recommend to scumbags and known gang members." The police have mixed feelings about...

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Police raid BBQ party because kids were playing Cowboys and Indians!

Funny story: Police raid BBQ party because kids were playing Cowboys and Indians!

Hertfordshire UK: Police stormed a BBQ party after a nosy neighbour complained about the stench of burning meat; she's a vegan! However, initially the police ignored her call for help because there ain't no law against BBQing dead meat (well not yet...

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Alien Cosmetics to produce makeup for purple women

Funny story: Alien Cosmetics to produce makeup for purple women

Alien Cosmetics just announced its intentions of producing a line of makeup for purple women called Plum Adorable™. According to Purplicia Greene, spokeswoman for Alien Cosmetics, "Purple women have had to do without proper makeup for years...

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Woman's Bad Breath Kills Seven on Tourist Train

Funny story: Woman's Bad Breath Kills Seven on Tourist Train

A Denver woman accidentally killed seven fellow passengers with her bad breath while aboard a popular sightseeing train ride on the border of New Mexico and Colorado. Passengers on the J&O Tours train started screaming and passing out when Thi...

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Non-potty trained Brit kids cause crisis in kindergartens!

Funny story: Non-potty trained Brit kids cause crisis in kindergartens!

Modern day mums seem to be losing the basics of bringing up their loved ones because kindergartens all over the country are being confronted with a nappy invasion! Children, even up to the ripe old age of nine have been discovered wearing nappies!...

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DUI Cops: Tiger Woods Asleep at Wheel of Spaceship

Funny story: DUI Cops: Tiger Woods Asleep at Wheel of Spaceship

Tiger Woods may be out of the Voyager Tournament as details are emerging in the DUI arrest of the golfing legend: Apparently Woods was passed out and stalled in the fast lane of Intergalactic Highway Q451 West. Intergalactic Highway Police respond...

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Joe Hart is a belly-flop hero in Scotland!

Funny story: Joe Hart is a belly-flop hero in Scotland!

The Oldest international match on the planet was given extra entertainment value as Joe Hart, England goalkeeper, revealed to the world his next goal (very punny); he is training to participate in the next Olympics and hopes to win a gold in the "Bel...

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British mum kicked out of garden centre for only wearing banana leaves!

Funny story: British mum kicked out of garden centre for only wearing banana leaves!

After all it was only 24 degrees celsius but, feeling quite hot and sticky, a mum from Hampshire, UK, (not the posh one in the USA) decided to go shopping in a local garden centre dressed only in banana leaves! The leaves covered her intimate part...

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New robot invented to help stop certain racially-motivated attacks

Funny story: New robot invented to help stop certain racially-motivated attacks

Spottedville officials have had enough of a sudden increase in specific racially-motivated crimes. According to Mayor Jenny Smith, "You usually don't hear much about anti-white racism, and it isn't politically correct to mention it. We had to do...

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O.J. Simpson Wants to Return to Playing Football When Released From Prison

Funny story: O.J. Simpson Wants to Return to Playing Football When Released From Prison

Lovelock, NV O.J. Simpson, Heisman Trophy winner and double murderer, said he wants to return to football and add to some of his running back statistics. "I know I've screwed up a lot and so that's why I think it would be good for me to get back t...

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Girl born with purple skin

Funny story: Girl born with purple skin

[PP] -- Doctors at Regional Hospital are baffled at the birth of an infant with purple skin and green hair. Neither of her parents have such features. According to pediatrician, Dr. Tanya Morgan, the baby seems to be completely healthy, despite he...

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Quit Picking On Trump And Trump's Tweets

Funny story: Quit Picking On Trump And Trump's Tweets

The nation should just plain quit picking on Trump and his tweets! For heaven's sakes! Grow up! What happened to freedom of the press? Doesn't Trump have a right to an opinion? Just because T was allegedly elected to the highest office in the wor...

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Baby bungee jumping latest social media craze!

Funny story: Baby bungee jumping latest social media craze!

Michael Jackson's legacy maybe not be quite so innocent as the world believes as parents on social media sites are "aping" his infamous act of dangling baby Paris out of a German hotel window many years ago! Modern parents viewing the video and se...

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How much of an asshole is Donald Trump? Let me count the ways.

Funny story: How much of an asshole is Donald Trump? Let me count the ways.

With apologies to Elizabeth Barrett Browning, although she probably would have thought that Trump was an asshole too, as would her husband Robert, and any children they had, had they had any. How much of an asshole is Donald Trump? Let me count the ways: he is an asshole To the depth and breadth and height that fools Can reach, when they're wallowing in a dump. He is an asshole in every li...

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Can the Internet Cause Hip Problems?

Funny story: Can the Internet Cause Hip Problems?

Winston-Salem, NC [PP] -- Doctors at Wake Forest Medical Center are perplexed at a sudden increase of problems in patients buttocks. They blame the Internet for the cause, based on the reports of some patients. "I was just laughing away while mess...

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Running through wheat fields to be new Olympic Sport

Funny story: Running through wheat fields to be new Olympic Sport

Following her humiliating defeat at the hands of the British electorate, British Prime Minster Teresa May is looking for a new pastime, to while away the worries of missing important discussions, not turning up for meetings, not having a decent polic...

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Frozen shampoo injures child

Like many young Disney fans, Tiffany Johnson begged her mother to get her the shampoo with Anna and Queen Elsa on the bottle. However, things did not go as expected. First the mother and daughter had difficulty getting the product out of the bott...

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Scientists Work On Brain-Ray to Cure Trump

Funny story: Scientists Work On Brain-Ray to Cure Trump

Science Town, USA Ever since Trump took office, a secret organization, the Scientists for Sanity, have been working on a brain ray for Trump. "We knew right away that there was something seriously wrong with Trump the moment he started campaignin...

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Secret Audio Tape Reveals GOP Culture of Reporter Body Slamming

Funny story: Secret Audio Tape Reveals GOP Culture of Reporter Body Slamming

At a GOP auction for bankers and health insurance providers, Paul Ryan was recorded touting the body slamming abilities of certain senators. Apparently the senators and congressmen with the best stats for reporter body slamming auctioned off for the...

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Dook University Develops Prescription Cigarette

Funny story: Dook University Develops Prescription Cigarette

Durham, NC [PP] -- On Monday, Dook University released what may be a first for modern science, a therapeutic cigarette which very well could cure some forms of cancer. Dr. Ralph Jones, director of research says, "This is groundbreaking research, t...

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Pro Golfer Kills Moose With Calloway's New Epic Driver

Funny story: Pro Golfer Kills Moose With Calloway's New Epic Driver

Erin Hills, Wisconsin. Chip Fairway, reporting live from the 117th U.S. Open Golf Tournament. After having my PGA Media credentials reinstated, I am happy to be reporting from a live event for the first time in quiet some time. Through some con...

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Non wankers website is proving very handy for Tossers!

Funny story: Non wankers website is proving very handy for Tossers!

A website especially designed for men, not women, to avoid masturbating, is gathering in popularity as it offers males inclined to enter the world of 'tossers' a hands-on method of reducing the temptation! It's called, NOFAP, which nobody on the p...

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The Sulk Institute Announces the New Universal Vaccination Mandate

Funny story: The Sulk Institute Announces the New Universal Vaccination Mandate

La Jolla, CA - Lizzy Lackbrain of the Sulk Institute held a major press conference today at noon to announce a new policy that will forever change how mankind protects itself from disease causing organisms. Babys, children and adults will no long...

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FEMEN damages natural landmark

Funny story: FEMEN damages natural landmark

Norwegians are collecting money to repair the famous penis shaped rock formation damaged by FEMEN protesters who complained the natural formation promotes sex tourism, sexism, and pregnant women. The popular tourist attraction is located in southe...

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Antisocial behavior vaccine developed

Funny story: Antisocial behavior vaccine developed

Some call the new vaccine racist, but scientists are starting human trials of a vaccine designed to stop antisocial behaviors. "The police asked us to come up with something to stop the rampant increase in crime. They asked if it were possible to cre...

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Shooting used toothpicks with toothpick crossbows banned in China!

Funny story: Shooting used toothpicks with toothpick crossbows banned in China!

The Chinese, renowned for their skills at swamping the world's markets with useless, garbage toys, have now "boomeranged" as their own children have been purchasing the latest craze; toothpick crossbows; WTF! Millions of Chinese kids are aiming th...

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Planet Dracon on the verge of war

Funny story: Planet Dracon on the verge of war

(DRAGNOG STAR) - An anti-Cudisim billboard humiliating the religious leader Jeriba Shigan that can be seen from the southbound lanes of speedway 5-46 on the east side is drawing concern from local Cudist. Cuda and Vagina are the two major religion...

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Donald Trump Has Already Broken Numerous Presidential Records

Funny story: Donald Trump Has Already Broken Numerous Presidential Records

"In analyzing President Trump's term in comparison with other U.S. Presidents, we have found a number of executive office records that Trump has now broken," spoke a history analyst at Northwestern University. The list includes: 1. Most lies ever by a POTUS, beating Ronald Reagan's eight-year total in just eight months. 2. Lamest inauguration ever, with lower attendance than Presi...

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Satan Scores a Win at the Supreme Court

Funny story: Satan Scores a Win at the Supreme Court

In a big win for the church of Satan, the Supreme Court ruled on Monday in favor of Trinity Lutheran Church v. Comer, the Church's case against the state of Missouri. The case involved discrimination by the state in giving out publicly funded grants.

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New bicycle ride service beats Uber and Lyft

Funny story: New bicycle ride service beats Uber and Lyft

Phoenix, AZ - According to WedG spokes-person, Streck "The Streak" Baque, WedG's new bicycle ride service is much cheaper that Uber or Lyft. Customers sit on the crossbar. Customers have a choice of facing the peddler or facing the handlebars. A...

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Dead to rights - Busted, disgusted and not to be trusted!

Funny story: Dead to rights - Busted, disgusted and not to be trusted!

Among other things, I write detective mystery novels and crime thrillers so I watch a lot of true-crime series. Usually, it's a late-night thing for me and this is how I relax and unwind. After watching one or two of the likes of "Wives with Knives",...

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British men marry foreign brides

Funny story: British men marry foreign brides

A controversial entrepreneur has created a fantastic marriage agency to help British men find Eastern European wives with close to 45,000 Britons signing up. Aleister Crowley, 33, is the brains behind FamilyValues.web and aims at improving the gen...

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Spellbound Females

Aug. 23rd, 1973 two machine-gun carrying criminals entered a bank in Stockholm, Sweden. They held 4 hostages, 3 women and one man; strapped them with dynamite, for 131 hours, until they were finally rescued on Aug. 28th. Strangely enough, during the hostage taking, it was observed that hostages had formed a favorable baffling attitude towards their captors, rather than the rescue team! Psychologis...

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Trump Pulls Out (Like His Dad Should Have)

Funny story: Trump Pulls Out (Like His Dad Should Have)

Donald Trump has pulled the US out of the "Paris Accord" which is a climate saving deal designed to try and keep the planet alive for a few extra weeks. The deal is ratified by 195 different countries and seems to be the only thing the world can agre...

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Putin Confesses to US 2016 Election Meddling? Of Course!

Funny story: Putin Confesses to US 2016 Election Meddling? Of Course!

Earlier today from the Kremlin, Vladimir Putin announced that: Yes, he rigged the voting machines in Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin during the last US presidential election, and did so just to embarrass that NATO-loving, EU supporting, capitali...

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Prominent 80's rappers hold press conference apologizing for early hits

Funny story: Prominent 80's rappers hold press conference apologizing for early hits

[PP] -- Cool Man, Smooth G, and other prominent rappers of the 80's held a press conference apologizing for their early hits. "I am embarrassed that I took this stage name," said Cool Man. "We thought we were cool back in the day, but we were real...

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Heatwave creates innovative methods in how to get some kip!

Funny story: Heatwave creates innovative methods in how to get some kip!

The heatwave affecting most of Europe has caused many people to create methods of getting some sleep. In fact, such situations sometimes bring out the very best in people (and sadly sometimes the worst!). Here are Jaggedone's methods for UK suffer...

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Innovating Germans reduce crime

Funny story: Innovating Germans reduce crime

In the first known brothel of its kind, the German government is offering free erotic sessions with sex dolls only to homeless vagrants and immigrants to reduce the number of interactions with women. Why sex dolls? During the 2015/2016 New Yea...

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Is prostitution natural?

Funny story: Is prostitution natural?

Not that many people dream of becoming prostitutes. People don't have a favorable attitude of the worlds oldest profession. Many countries ban the act while others allow it in specific locations or only under certain circumstance. Is prostitution...

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The Imp condemn Tambo Rooka

Funny story: The Imp condemn Tambo Rooka

Space News- A 20-year-old Imp from the planet Kangaroo has been sentenced to twenty years hard labor by a court, following the conviction on charges he insulted the prophet Hooter and his wives on Social-Media, officials said Tuesday. Hazmat is th...

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Winnie is really a lesbian

Funny story: Winnie is really a lesbian

Emerald City News: At the film age of 29, 'Winnie the Hoot,' a cartoon character, was living in Wonderland enjoying a successful career as a porn producer and working with film stars like, Elephant the Destroyer. He had been to the 'Cartoon Oscars...

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The British people are tired of political games

Funny story: The British people are tired of political games

LONDON- Conservatives lose majority in British Parliament, and the public says enough is enough with political games. The outcome - a positive turn for the general public as groups of Brit's join a new political organization, "New Britannia Progre...

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Rooney In United Stand-off

International marketing firm and social media gurus, Manchester United, have dropped their biggest hint yet that England Captain Wayne Rooney will be leaving the club. United's record goal scored has spent time on the substitutes bench this season an...

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Comey flees to Russia meets Snowden at Sheremetyeov Airport

Funny story: Comey flees to Russia meets Snowden at Sheremetyeov Airport

Following President Putin's suggestion that Mr. Comey may wish to seek asylum in Russia, former FBI Director James Comey has fled the country. On the way he was able to tweet a response to Putin: "He's right! I did the same thing as Snowden!" T...

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Trump Punks World: It's All Just a Reality TV Show Folks

Funny story: Trump Punks World: It's All Just a Reality TV Show Folks

Completely unknown to the Western world and even our so called "intelligence agencies", it seems the Trump presidency has been a hit reality TV show in Russia and North Korea for an entire year. Trump Fools World is the popular new show produced b...

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Man's Right Hand Has 2.5 Million Followers on Twitter

Funny story: Man's Right Hand Has 2.5 Million Followers on Twitter

Uzia Remsen had dangerous Gibsonopathy* surgery to separate the hemispheres of his brain in an attempt to cure the hundreds of seizures a day that plagued him. Though Remsen no longer suffers from seizures, his right hand has literally taken on a...

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NASA forced to reconsider colonizing new planet after aliens report violent attacks

Funny story: NASA forced to reconsider colonizing new planet after aliens report violent attacks

After restarting the NASA program that lie dormant under the Obama Administration, NASA had finally discovered a planet that was fit for human habitation. They needed volunteers to inhabit the discovered planet. As a condition for funding the project...

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Radical process will restore the coal industry to its glory days

Funny story: Radical process will restore the coal industry to its glory days

Osucit, Japan - Ken Assosuka of the Osucit Power and Light Company held a press conference today to reveal a new process for burning coal that reduces CO2 emissions to zero. The new process captures the CO2 and uses it to carbonate saki, orange juic...

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Trump's Climate Accord Withdrawal Actually Just Evidence of Alternative Realities

The presidential address of the Withdrawal of the United States from the Paris Climate Accord has generated a world-wide investigation into the reality Trump originates from, and its implications on the multiverse. Despite evidence from the scien...

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Gay Characters Might Exist in the MCU, Says Gunn

Funny story: Gay Characters Might Exist in the MCU, Says Gunn

Comic Book News- Over the last few years, some adult comic book fans have argued for diversity within the Marvel Macrocosm. Prior to the 2017 announcement that the company would be making "Mysterious Panther" and "El Cap-e-tan Marvel Guy," the stu...

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Venezuelan prisoners eat pasta with shit!

Funny story: Venezuelan prisoners eat pasta with shit!

It seems the South American country have changed its dietary plans for inmates locked up in their revolting prisons and have introduced a surprisingly interesting menu for their guests; pasta and shit! Venezuela are not the only country where one...

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Kathy Griffin Waterboarded by Secret Service

Funny story: Kathy Griffin Waterboarded by Secret Service

Some Unknown, Very Dark Location Kathy Griffin, who had a video shot of her holding the severed head of Donald Trump, has been located, somewhat. The "Secret Service," who guard the President, have confirmed that she has been taken to a secret locat...

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Cheated & Mistreated

Animals enter life fully prepared, with all necessary characteristics and instincts. In other words, they work like a PCM, punched card machine. All expertly and reliably wired up. But, alas, Homo sapiens need to acquire their workable applications externally. Of course, man's mind is not that empty. It's got a hard disk containing many old files, archives, gradually saved throughout centuries, b...

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Bill Cosby Trial Changed Furniture Around During Proceedings

Funny story: Bill Cosby Trial Changed Furniture Around During Proceedings

Pittsburgh, PA Courtroom clerics and bailiffs admit they would move the furniture around every day during the Cosby trial. "We wanted to test and see if he was really blind. And it seems like he found his seat every day without any problems!" spo...

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Logan's last run in London

Funny story: Logan's last run in London

Final News: The nuclear attack began Friday at noon and London was gripped with panic as air raid sirens wail. I'm critically injured and this is the last news article available to the world. A subsequent radio broadcast stated that Moscow was eva...

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The world of the golden sun

Funny story: The world of the golden sun

MAGISTER, Battlefield - Lyra has spent more than a decade in mountainous combat zones collecting intelligence for the Gyptian National Army, but nothing could have prepared her for what happened last Friday when the Gobblers carried out their monstro...

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Fabulous STAR UK tabloid gives their brain-damaged footy readers the latest on the Ronaldo saga!

Funny story: Fabulous STAR UK tabloid gives their brain-damaged footy readers the latest on the Ronaldo saga!

Now there is no need to tell anybody with an ounce of sense between their ears that Brit Tabloids are full of utter CRAP! However, one particular RAG has taken taking the piss out of it's highly intellectual, intelligent readership, to a new level...

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Black rights group sues God over snow

Funny story: Black rights group sues God over snow

A local activist group files class action suit against God claiming that snow is racist and doesn't meet affirmative action quotas. They reason that if white folks get white snow, other groups should get snow that is closer to their skin colors. S...

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SICKmatch.com Eases Stigma of Dating With Rare Diseases

Funny story: SICKmatch.com Eases Stigma of Dating With Rare Diseases

Gioni Malocutia suffers from Tourette's syndrome, an illness often skewered by comedians, but one that makes it difficult if not impossible to find a mate or even an occasional date in real life. After having zero success on traditional dating sit...

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Canadian tornado mows lawn!

Funny story: Canadian tornado mows lawn!

A Canadian lawn mower who hates mowing his lawn, but forced outside because his wife cannot stand the grass being longer than 6 inches, decided enough is enough, and God provided him with the perfect solution! He started mowing the lawn and notice...

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Germany abolishes marriage

Funny story: Germany abolishes marriage

GERMANY- After heavy thinking and discussions, lasting the whole week, the German parliament (Bundestag) agreed upon a law on Friday that will eliminate all marriage laws in Germany, ending the governments subjugation over it's citizens. The law,...

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Male impersonator calls it quits

Funny story: Male impersonator calls it quits

After 3 years, Male impersonator Jane Barley is hanging up her sky diving jumpsuit. Most of her loyal fans have found their way into the obituary. "Nowadays, drugged out teens are into "Jimmy Pop," a teen singer from the music group New Kids on t...

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Trump Takes Ball and Goes Home at the NATO Conference

Funny story: Trump Takes Ball and Goes Home at the NATO Conference

Geneva, Switzerland President Donald Trump of the United States attended a NATO Conference and, in his daughter Ivanka's opinion, looked very presidential. Trump was criticized for pushing fellow attendees out of the way to be in front, but Ivan...

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Putin denies he is riding on Trumps back to World Domination

Funny story: Putin denies he is riding on Trumps back to World Domination

Despite secret photographs being leaked to the media of Putin riding Trump in the forests behind his dacha, predictably Putin has categorically denied this and is willing to swear on a stack of bibles that the picture is of another pair out riding. P...

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UK cat-loving hoarder nearly drowns in 30 tons of cat poop!

Funny story: UK cat-loving hoarder nearly drowns in 30 tons of cat poop!

Emergency services were called to a house in North-West London after neighbours observed yowling cats jumping out of windows and running for their nine lives! It seems the rather eccentric owner of 61 cats slipped into a cesspit in the house fille...

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Queen Elizabeth refuses 6 million pay rise and gives it to the DUP!

Funny story: Queen Elizabeth refuses 6 million pay rise and gives it to the DUP!

In the absurd, topsy turvy world of inequality called the UK, the Queen has shown some heart for her people by refusing a 6 million pay rise and has donated it to those poor buggars who are licking May's rear end (or vice versa) called the DUP! Qu...

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Russian wolves and bears fight over who owns lost 4 year-old "Mowgli" in Ural forest!

Funny story: Russian wolves and bears fight over who owns lost 4 year-old "Mowgli" in Ural forest!

Rudyard Kipling could not have written it better! A 4 year-old boy lost in the vast Russian Ural woods has been found alive by search parties scouring the area where he mysteriously wandered off whilst his dad was searching for firewood! After day...

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Trump:  "He's a leaker and a freaker and a bathroom peeker!"

In a tweet last night and again this morning in a written statement President Donald Trump called former FBI director James Comey... "a leaker and a freaker and a bathroom peeker!"    Trump went on to say in his written statement that it was a mat...

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Logan escapes Germany Vol. 2

Funny story: Logan escapes Germany Vol. 2

Logan and Sara, the only two humans left alive on earth after a nuclear war, finally made contact with an alien race in the Milky Way galaxy using radio satellite antennas modified to send and receive quantum particle communications. The aliens g...

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Trump: Evidence James Comey Was Double Agent For KGB

Funny story: Trump: Evidence James Comey Was Double Agent For KGB

BILLINGSGATE POST: Referring to recently released Cold War documents that reveal that former FBI Director James Comey is the son of Julius and Ethel Rosenberg, President Trump believes Comey was covertly working for the Soviet KGB. The Rosenbergs we...

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Why are people obsessed with objects?

Funny story: Why are people obsessed with objects?

The medical classification for people who become attracted to inanimate objects is "objectophilia" or "object-craving." It's considered an embodiment of affection after clinical sociologists Dr. Amy Marsh discovered it's origin to be related to l...

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Nicaragua and Syria Announce Their Decision to Join the Paris Climate Agreement

Funny story: Nicaragua and Syria Announce Their Decision to Join the Paris Climate Agreement

Managua, Nicaragua - On Friday, the day after Trump announced that he was joining Nicaragua, Syria and Pittsburgh in abandoning the Paris Climate Agreement, Nicaraguan strongman and Presidente Daniel Ortega announced he would join the list of nations...

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New vaccine mandate meeting increasing opposition

Funny story: New vaccine mandate meeting increasing opposition

Central Park- New York,NY - Dog walkers in Central Park are voicing protests to the AMA over the new vaccine pogrom reported on here. Ms. Penny Triever contacted our newspaper to complain about the pogrom which requires citizens to lick the bottom...

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Eleanor Rigby was caught shopping at thrift store

Funny story: Eleanor Rigby was caught shopping at thrift store

Rochdale- Savoring the huge amount of cheap goods and the Salvation Army's desires to be rid of the old merchandise, Eleanor Rigby, spent the afternoon digging through piles of musky items looking for bargains. Store employees, at the Salvation Ar...

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US Defense Forces preparing ceremony to pass the Baton of World Leadership to Angela Merkel

Funny story: US Defense Forces preparing ceremony to pass the Baton of World Leadership to Angela Merkel

After making America great again by abandoning all pretense of world leadership the State Department and the Pentagon are preparing to pass the World Leaders Baton to Germany. In a special ceremony to be held in a specially constructed wall somewh...

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Bizarre Bjork Songs Confess Tour Killing Spree

Funny story: Bizarre Bjork Songs Confess Tour Killing Spree

Reykjavk, Iceland - Authorities at the very small and very cold police station in the Icelandic Capitol are hesitant to drive their ice-mobiles up to the ice castle on the mountain ledge overlooking town, to arrest the queen of the village, avant-gar...

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Trump Cites Comey's "Big Hands" As Reason for Firing Former FBI DIrector

Funny story: Trump Cites Comey's "Big Hands" As Reason for Firing Former FBI DIrector

Congressional investigators announced the discovering of a highly classified memo written by President Trump that explains the 10 reasons why he decided to fire the former FBI Director, James Comey. President Trump listed the 10 reasons in the s...

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Abbot bans priests from entering Sister Mary's Ass!

Funny story: Abbot bans priests from entering Sister Mary's Ass!

After allowing his silent religious order to communicate via the use of Facebook, Abbot Michael Lafferty, was mortified when comments that he left on one of his priest's Facebook entries went viral. Having entered the sanctuary's working donkey in...

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Comey: Trump's Albino Raccoon Hairpiece Could Be Subpoenaed

Funny story: Comey: Trump's Albino Raccoon Hairpiece Could Be Subpoenaed

BILLINGSGATE POST: Testifying before the Senate Intelligence Committee last week, former FBI Director James Comey swore under oath that he believes President Trump's albino raccoon hairpiece must have been wired during their private meeting last mon...

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Obama Suffering Midlife Crisis

Funny story: Obama Suffering Midlife Crisis

Chicago, IL - Former President Barack Obama doesn't know what to do with himself these days. After months of travel and adventure camps, Obama remains without a job or sense of purpose. "Time of my life!" wrote Obama in a recent tweet which was qu...

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Unemployment Increases by 3.5 Million and What to do?

Funny story: Unemployment Increases by 3.5 Million and What to do?

This week, President Trump needs to deal with bigger issues than backing out of the Paris Climate Agreement. In early June, over 3.5 million Americans became unemployed. Sources say the government and the media are keeping this issue quiet because it...

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Florida car burglars literally caught with their pants down!

Funny story: Florida car burglars literally caught with their pants down!

Two dimwit car burglars in Florida, wearing mandatory butt pants, attempted to burgle a car standing on a lonely parking area 'butt', the burglary went slightly pear-shape as they attempted to escape the scene of the crime! Caught on police CCTV c...

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Australian police dog sacked because he was too soft!

Funny story: Australian police dog sacked because he was too soft!

The world of canines wanting to become police dogs in Australia is tough as the case of Gavel, a Queensland German Shepard proves; he got the boot for being too soft! Gavel went through all the training required, but during certain exercises, he w...

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Twitter promotes new Product - Twitter Twatter Weaponised Hysteria™

Funny story: Twitter promotes new Product - Twitter Twatter Weaponised Hysteria™

Twitter today proudly announced a new product today that they believe will give them the edge on Zuckerburgs Face Space Fake News capability. Twitter management have been concerned recently with falling revenues and saw the success of the other guys...

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Pope considering nuking Australia over Cardinal Pells phedophilia charges

Funny story: Pope considering nuking Australia over Cardinal Pells phedophilia charges

In a highly secret meeting, the Pope was said to be outraged at the latest pedophile scandal to hit the church, demanding to know why Pell didn't mop this up before he left Australia. It seems time and his track record of deceit and outrage agains...

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Donald Trump meets with Queen to discuss forming a new government

Funny story: Donald Trump meets with Queen to discuss forming a new government

Donald Trump is seeking to extend his power-base by putting in a bid to run the British Government, it has been revealed. The American President flew into London, on Air-force one, landing on Buckingham Palace's roof, whilst Teresa May was in ther...

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Tresemme to sue Teresa May

Funny story: Tresemme to sue Teresa May

Following her trouncing at the election, Shampoo and hair conditioner manufacturer Tresemme is to sue the never popular, well liked, wheat field runner Teresa May for defamation. 'Our product has always been strong and stable' said a spokesman for...

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Police, Rescue Respond to Unusual Kidnapping

Funny story: Police, Rescue Respond to Unusual Kidnapping

Denver, CO [PP] -- Police and paramedics responded to what had to be their most unusual kidnapping case. A man who had not opened his refrigerator door in more than two years had the shock of his life. When he finally got around to opening the refrig...

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Dykes On Bikes And Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence Withdraw Support For Nancy Pelosi

Funny story: Dykes On Bikes And Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence Withdraw Support For Nancy Pelosi

BILLINGSGATE POST: The San Francisco Chapter of Dykes on Bikes announced today that they were joining with The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence in a boycott of Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi. In 1976, a small group of women motorcyclists gathered at th...

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UK "Nappy Tax" imposed on parents binning nappies!

Funny story: UK "Nappy Tax" imposed on parents binning nappies!

UK stinking rubbish bins containing dirty nappies will now face a "Nappy Tax" and the owners of the nappies, not the babies, will have to pay more for binning their disposable diapers (is that word used in the UK?). Young parents are up in arms ab...

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Trump, Bannon: Democrats Responsible for Leaks from White House

Funny story: Trump, Bannon: Democrats Responsible for Leaks from White House

Washington - According to tweets last night from Donald Trump as well as a story in Breitbart Real News (formerly Breitbart News), Democrats inside the White House organization are responsible for the many leaks to news organizations like CNN, Washin...

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Brexit negotiations to be held in Disneyland

With politics and fairy tales converging ever faster, it was announced today that Brexit negotiations with the EU are to be held in Disneyland. Meetings will be chaired by the Mad Hatter, with the Seven Dwarfs taking minutes in rotation. Dopey will b...

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Green Haired Girl Sues School District

Funny story: Green Haired Girl Sues School District

Amanda Jenkins only wants one thing, and that is to be able to attend school. However, that presents a challenge for her. Jenkins was born with green hair. "Amanda was born with a difference in how her hair follicles use minerals such as titanium...

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Ivanka Trump in Trouble With Vatican For Reproducing Shroud of Turin on Bikini

Funny story: Ivanka Trump in Trouble With Vatican For Reproducing Shroud of Turin on Bikini

First Ivanka Trump's fashion company was sued for copying a chastity shoe (left foot only) made by FashionIkon in Transylvania. Now Ivanka Trump Collections™ is in hot water with the Vatican and true believers in the miracle of the shroud of Tu...

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Milked cows run stampede at a Lancashire ATM!

Funny story: Milked cows run stampede at a Lancashire ATM!

Police were called out to a filling up station on the M61 near Chorley, Lancashire, yesterday as a herd of dissatisfied cows attempted to raid an ATM! The cows broke out of their paddock claiming the farmer paid them less than the minimum wage for...

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Gideon Strikes Back!

George Osborne has called Teresa may "a dead woman walking" after her election cock up. Unsurprisingly coming from the mouth of a man who we believe has been dead for some time and merely jumps his consciousness into recently deceased bodies. Look in...

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An Unassuming Proposition: Teach Gangs to Shoot Straight

The near-fatal shooting of a small child in Compton last week, hit by a stray bullet intended for someone else, was only the most recent in a long list of similar unintentional shootings of innocent victims. This nation has had more than enough fune...

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