Comey: Trump's Albino Raccoon Hairpiece Could Be Subpoenaed

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Monday, 12 June 2017

image for Comey: Trump's Albino Raccoon Hairpiece Could Be Subpoenaed

BILLINGSGATE POST: Testifying before the Senate Intelligence Committee last week, former FBI Director James Comey swore under oath that he believes President Trump's albino raccoon hairpiece must have been wired during their private meeting last month.

"When the president said, 'It is my hope that you can drop the Flynn investigation,' I remember how nauseous I felt as I looked at the peering eyes staring out from beneath what appeared to be an albino raccoon on Mr. Trump's head."

In all my years as a United States Attorney working for the Justice Department, and then as Director of the FBI, I cannot recall a more subtle device to record a conversation than an albino raccoon posing as a hairpiece.

Believe me, this was not something that you would purchase at Wig City in Times Square."

Senator Feinstein: "Would you suggest that this hairpiece might have been surreptitiously recording your conversation with President Trump?"

"Affirmative, Senator."

"As a follow-up question, Mr. Comey, in your years with the Justice Department and the Bureau, has an albino raccoon ever been subpoenaed to testify against a sitting president?"

"Not to my knowledge, Senator. But that doesn't mean that it couldn't be done."

Senator Feinstein: "I recommend that Mr. Mueller look into this."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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