Queen considers Schaller for Knigthood - Prince William declares he's not 15 Hands

Written by BozX

Thursday, 22 June 2017

image for Queen considers Schaller for Knigthood - Prince William declares he's not 15 Hands
Queen Selects Bright Yellow to Meet Schaller

Scott Schaller, Graphics Design Teacher from Cabrillo HS in Lompoc CA, has been on the "short list" of possible nominees for knighthood in 2017. The honor of Knighthood bestowed on an individual by the Queen brings along the title of Sir. Queen Elizabeth II was reported to have said, "Ever since I met Scott Schaller through his wonderful efforts bringing inner city children from the culturally deprived area of Lompoc to the UK via Explorica Tours, I've always wanted to break out my sword and make him formally Sir Schaller of Cabrillo".

Unfortunately, Prince William quickly reminded the Queen about "the minimum height rule of 15 hands tall and Without a full 15 hands", said the Prince, "he cannot be in the Hood" Insiders suggested the conversation between the Queen and Prince became visceral at one point. Prince William was overheard speaking way above the traditional 25dB, the Royal conversation sound limit, trying to convince the Queen putting him on the Old Rack for a good stretch is not going to work. The conversation became so heated in fact, servants in the room were requested to immediately bring more sugar, honey, and those delicious little Madeleines (William's favorite - The Prince IS a dunker).

Finally, over the course of their hour long tea talk about Schaller's fate, the Queen finally acquiesced and told Prince William; "If he can sing, write and compose music like Sir Elton John, he gets the sword, otherwise he'll have to settle on Lordship.

And with that, the Schaller Knighthood challenge was born. Prince William was last seen on the phone with Explorica tour agents trying to track down Scott Schaller (a.k.a. Hyper Bunny as his students call him) for a meeting to setup an audition. The two songs being tossed around for Mr. Schaller's audition are "Captain Fantastic" or "Crocodile Rock".

The Queen was last heard praying for her personal favorite "Don't Go Breaking My Heart". Seems to this reporter that the Queen would like to give him a bit more than the sword and Knighthood....but I digress.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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