Trump's Climate Accord Withdrawal Actually Just Evidence of Alternative Realities

Written by Alex Karambelas

Friday, 2 June 2017

The presidential address of the Withdrawal of the United States from the Paris Climate Accord has generated a world-wide investigation into the reality Trump originates from, and its implications on the multiverse.

Despite evidence from the scientific community that the global temperature has increased by 1.5 degrees fahrenheit due to an increase in CO2 levels that nearly double the past 400,000 years, the White House address given today has negated these scientific realities.

Says quantum physicist Steve Leonard, "The only possible explanation of these statements pertains to a key concept- alternative realities.These realities are not bound to the laws of our material world, like say, the impending doom of our rising seas and CO2 levels."

Leonard goes on to say, "The issue is that we are stuck inside the bowl of the space time continuum and cannot see the larger scope of existence. However, there is increasing evidence of a rip in the fabric of the space time continuum in which the United States is actually playing out a Russian spy novel and arming what soon will be terrorist forces. Contrary to popular belief, 2017 is clearly just 1989."

William Gutman, astrophysicist of Massachusetts Institute of Technology weighed in to explain the nature of this theoretical finding; "For every action, there is a universe playing out each potential outcome- 10^10^122 possible particle configurations to be exact. Up until now, we have yet to come into contact with this multiplicity of potential realities. The questions we need to be asking ourselves right now are: does Donald Trump hail from an alternative reality? And if so, what are the implications for the world we live in?"

The theory has been met with some disagreement throughout the scientific community. Quantum mechanic Richard Feldman states, "It is increasingly clear that president trump is actually a pioneer in the realm of quantum mechanics- that reality only exists in the mind of those observing it. We've seen many examples of this phenomenon, from the Michelson-Morley experiment of 1887, proving how light behaves like a particle or a wave depending on how one measures it. Here we see this similar type of experiment on a large scale- do sea levels truly rise if nobody is measuring them? Will the world fall to environmental collapse if we are not positing that potential existence?"

Astrophysicist Gutman states, "It really is no coincidence that Trump's rise to power began with a reality show- some of the very first signs of his interest is the ever elusive nature of one's acceptance of existence and matter- that the world around us is 'real'."

While investigations continue with the nature of existence and president trump's own role in being a catalyst for alternative realities, sources spoke with the White House's closest advisor to the realm of consciousness- neurosurgeon Dr. Ben Carson. Carson states of these two different theories- "When something really bad is happening, I just close my eyes and -poof- it disappears."

Considering the monumental decision made by ending the agreement of nearly every country on this planet to stave off imminent environmental catastrophe, an investigation is currently underway to determine whether Trump truly did originate from an alternative reality, or if he has already found a portal to one once our planet is destroyed.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more