Police, Rescue Respond to Unusual Kidnapping

Written by Purple Girl

Sunday, 11 June 2017

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A Denver man was grabbed by a mass growing inside his refrigerator.

Denver, CO [PP] -- Police and paramedics responded to what had to be their most unusual kidnapping case. A man who had not opened his refrigerator door in more than two years had the shock of his life. When he finally got around to opening the refrigerator, giant tentacles allegedly pulled him in. Luckily for him, he had his cell phone, and was able to call 911. According to the 911 dispatcher, he was unable to finish the call.

"He said something about being held captive by his refrigerator and something choking him. Before I could get him to calm down, he started sounding like he was gasping for air, and then the line went dead."

Police, fire rescue, and paramedics reached the scene. The man was found cyanotic, but was revived after the police fired their tasers into the tentacles which were protruding from the open refrigerator and started administering CPR and oxygen.

Lt. Ken Johnson joked, "We told this mass in the refrigerator to freeze. When it failed to respond to our commands, he tasered it. The refrigerator will definately be taken in as evidence."

The man is doing much better after his ordeal and may have learned a valuable lesson.

"I believe I will be cleaning my replacement refrigerator much more often from now on."

Neighbors heard about the ordeal and had gotten him a replacement refrigerator.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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