Written by Purple Girl

Tuesday, 20 June 2017

image for Antisocial behavior vaccine developed
A new vaccine is being developed to curb violence and other antisocial behaviors.

Some call the new vaccine racist, but scientists are starting human trials of a vaccine designed to stop antisocial behaviors. "The police asked us to come up with something to stop the rampant increase in crime. They asked if it were possible to create a vaccine to stop certain behaviors that are associated with crime, and we figured we would give it a try," says Dr. Jason Smith of Area Research Center.

Activist groups are asking that the trials be stopped. Damien Jones of the Liberty Action League says, "We don't know what this vaccine will do. Will it target minorities? I am also concerned it may become mandatory. This is a an infringement on human rights and freedoms. We will sue to try to stop this if we must. It is not right."

Other critics believe the vaccine might be a form of mind control, control public behavior, or wipe out minority culture. Lakiesha Smith, a local activist for minority rights, says, "There are rumors that this vaccine will target things like 'sagging,' machismo, being nosy, dating outside one's own race, begging for money, speaking with certain accents, or desiring to take drugs. What happened to freedom?"

The research center says that the vaccines are designed to help reduce certain types of bacteria which cause antisocial behavior. There are still more questions than answers regarding what this vaccine will do. According to Smith, "We believe this will reduce violence, addiction, hypersexuality and the need to give into peer pressure."

There are many questions about this new vaccine and the Food and Drug Administration has declined to comment, saying it is not their place to comment on active drug trials.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more