There were 167 spoof news stories published in July 2017. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Walmartians have taken over the world
Back in the old days, people used to collect themselves at the cave in the middle of the woods, look up at the stars and the constellations and make up stories about the various diagrams they saw in the sky. You know, Orion, The Big Dipper, The Littl...Read full story
Fudge-Packers Named in Lawsuit
Charlotte N.C. - Popular candy gram business Fudge Packers is being sued by the Pucker family. According to the complaint, Ebony Pucker ordered fudge through the company but claimes it put her pet at risk due to it's dangerous and irresponsible deli...Read full story
Group of Zulu warriors invading London end up in Hull!
It seems that South African Zulus have no knowledge of British geography after intending to invade London, they went AWOL, and ended up in a very fishy place called, Hull, Yorkshire! The Zulu leader, Chief Zizu Zwazi-Caine, (a distant relation of...Read full story
Trump Promises Cheap Accidental Death Insurance to the 22 Million Cut Off Under His Proposed Health Plan
Washington, D.C. "I'm telling you," said Trump. "This is a real good deal. I've gotten one of the companies I own to offer accidental death insurance at a FANTASTIC rate to anyone who has lost their health insurance!" "This is really a once-in-a-l...Read full story
Cheap airline throw granny off plane with her bagpipes!
A renowned cheap ticket airline, that originates from the Emerald Isle called Ireland, took offence when a Scottish granny attempted to smuggle her bagpipes on board a flight from Belgium to the UK! It seems the granny was hoping to entertain the...Read full story
Putin Tells Trump: "James Comey Was One Of Ours"
DATELINE HAMBURG: In the first face-to-face meeting between Vladimir Putin and President Trump, a simple, six word statement from Putin verified what many in the looking glass, spy vs spy world of espionage already believed: "James Comey was one...Read full story
Man sues to have gender on driver's license listed as Potato
A man is suing his local office of the Department of Motor Vehicles to have his gender listed as 'Potato' on his driver's license. Keith Spudd spent thousands of dollars having his skin tattooed the color and shading of a potato. In addition, he...Read full story
After Bus Shortage Trump.com™ orders some el magnifico Under the Bus Presidential Cars to clear backlog.
After the reported shortage of available buses to be throwing Whitehouse staff under, Trump.com™ says he will solve the backlog problem with a more magnificent Under The Bus Trumpmobile™ The vehicle is said to have been designed by Tr...Read full story
Study: Winners of Arguments Do Not Hate to Say 'I Told You So.'
Apparently, when people prove themselves correct over others, they often enjoy gloating for a moment, using sarcasm. According to new research, four out of five people who win an argument will use the addage, "I hate to say I told you so, but I told...Read full story
Nancy Pelosi Diagnosed With Terminal Persimmon Winter-Kill Syndrome
BILLINGSGATE POST: In an interview this morning on MSNBC, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi referred to President Bush three different times in a rambling, incoherent discussion regarding the failure of the Administration to repeal or change ObamaCa...Read full story
Trump.com™ relieved he can finally put Russian Scandal behind him, after Putin agrees there was no Election interference and neither of them can recall coluding
After a very warm and fuzzy bromance first date that not even the First Lady could break up Putin assures Trump.com™ he will help him resolve FBI and Senate inquiry irritant. After their 13 hour love-in including a Bromance Ride around the F...Read full story
Donald Trump Jr. Exposed as Alien Clone of The President After Email Dump
After Mini Donald released emails implicating himself in the secret back channel pipeline of gravy from a certain fast food chain to Chris Christie's Govorner's mansion, White House aides have started a whisper campaign saying that Donald Jr. is not...Read full story
Republicans hire private militia to kidnap Trumps NotSoSmartPhone™
Republicans scared of being shot at have engaged white supremacists paramilitary groups to protect them and launch a black ops to kidnap Trumps NotSoSmartPhone™. After recent baseball shenanigans Republicans have reviewed their security ar...Read full story
Bavarian pupils in shock as statue reveals penis of "Sun worshipper!"
The Bavarian art world believed their bronze statue standing outside a junior school would be appropriate; however, the "Sun Worshipper's" penis is proving to be too much of an attraction for the kids! German kids with open-mouths are standing in...Read full story
Cuba opens up "Love Hotels" for a quickie!
Castro ruled Cuba with a strong arm and now he has gone a peculiar, idiosyncratic, institute is being reinstated on the island; Love Hotels better know as Posadas! Cuban, beautiful babes can now spoil their hot men in a comfortable bed instead of...Read full story
Yes, His Athletic Feats Show Donald Trump to be a Real Bad-ass!
Donald Trump's recent "tweet" about him being some bad-ass WWF dynamo who pins a CNN reporter to the mat shows the delusional wanderings of a truly insane lunatic. Come on, Donald Trump, some wiry kid that weighs 1/3 your weight who is in halfway...Read full story
UK Police officer nicks a biscuit and this spoof "takes the biscuit!"
Now this spoof is actually a news article which takes the biscuit, and not the piss! Yes Jaggedone lovers, this is happening in the UK police force all the time! A police officer nicked a packet of biscuits from his colleague. He then handed the o...Read full story
O.J. Says He Doesn't Care About His Old Trophies Anymore Because He's Going to Win New Ones
Lovelock Correctional Center, Lovelock, Nevada Newly paroled convict O.J. Simpson, winner of the Heisman Trophy and other sporting awards, told reporters about how it no longer bothers him if people buy and sell his old trophies. Simpson has spent ni...Read full story
The Zendora Continent of Planet Zigora struggles to reduce racism
Zendora has always been a rather temperate continent on Planet Zigora, with rather peaceful peoples. Over the years, it has become more of a diverse melting pot of cultures. In recent years, sadly, the various cultures have began to clash. For ins...Read full story
The Reason Snoop Dogg wears Indian headdresses is because he is a closet homosexual
I joined Snoop Dogg's vast enterouge of drug dealing thugs; whores of all shapes, sizes, races, and peculiarities; along with some actual American Indian chiefs at his powwow in the Bronx Monday afternoon. Snoop Dogg's admission fee for the powwow wa...Read full story
Putin fires Mueller
Huge drama unfolding in Whitehouse as word emerges Putin has fired the Special Prosecutor Mueller. It is only emerging that last night Putin decided to help his new best friend Trump.com™ with this pesky FBI witch hunt. News is only breakin...Read full story
Trump.com™ throwing so many allies Under the Bus, the US now has a Bus Shortage
With the ongoing and most entertaining cyberbully of his greatest ally the AG number, the number of causalities is rising daily. Lawyers are bailing, Spicers karma caught up with him, 'el douche Mooche'is going to sack the entire West Wing. The l...Read full story
What eclipse? "The Great Solar Eclipse Hoax of 2017"
In an interview today on Fox News, a spokesman for Eclipse Deniers charged that the highly touted solar eclipse set for Aug. 21 is nothing more than a scam hatched by a coalition of transportation, hotel, resort and food service interests. "Ther...Read full story
After Extreme Makeovers, Sean Spicer and Sarah Huckabee Sanders to Hold Press Briefings on Camera, with Sound
WASHINGTON, D. C.--President Donald Trump, who had formerly called his Press Secretary and Deputy Press Secretary "too fat and ugly" to appear on camera, has tweeted that both Sean Spicer and Sarah Huckabee Sanders will again, after the duo's extr...Read full story
Order in the Ballpark, Here Comes Da Judge!
Not just any judge. We're talking Aaron Judge. 6' 7" New York Yankee extraordinaire, winner of the Home Run Derby at the 2017 All-Star Game festivities. His power is amazing, but just a little bit scary. Nervous fans have taken to wearing helmets...Read full story
Trump.com™ new 4 Star General CoS declares Martial Law and Shoot to Kill - On Sight - all Leakers in the White House
With the White House leaking like the Titanic after head butting an iceberg the military has been called in to restore order. The new 4 star general just appointed CoS has declared marital law and authorized the use of deadly force against suspect...Read full story
Snoop Dogg Knocks Up Martha Stewart?
Hollywood's newest power couple has announced that they are expecting a baby: According to friends of the engaged couple, Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg have been house shopping in anticipation of starting a family. What's not clear however is if t...Read full story
Early on, Planet Earth looked like a giant jelly doughnut, scientists theorize
The latest in science news theorizes that the earth was originally a Synestia - it took on a giant jelly doughnut shape early in its history, about 4.5 billion years ago. Some scientists believe the earth was originally a blob of mostly vaporized...Read full story
Selfie sticks banned in the Vatican; they could reveal too much!
Tourists visiting Italy's fabulous cities, Rome, The Vatican (Yes it is a city within a city Klugscheisser!), Milan, etc, have been confronted with a ban on their favourite toy, Selfie Sticks! Jaggedone sent his undercover, hi-tec, Italian CIA (Co...Read full story
Kim Kardashian Chastises Kim Jong-Un
Los Angeles, CA Kim Kardashian released statements regarding namesake North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un. "Now, this Kim from Korea, he had plenty of time after his Daddy died to pick a name other than Kim because a quick look at the TV or Internet...Read full story
Putin discusses offering Trump.com™ a Kremlin Pardon™
Given the personal risk Trump.com™ is running to aid Putins world domination agenda, they are organising some legal coverage for their star operative. After the conclusion of the RussMerica™ corporate merger Putin is helping out his be...Read full story
Julius Caesar gets attacked for eating sheep
After having started off with humble beginnings, the ace comedian, actor and Roman General, Julius Caesar, went on to reach dizzying heights when suddently attacked by several close friends. His friends lead by Caesar's confidant, Brutus, accused...Read full story
A beauty contest with a twist: the world's ugliest woman 2017
Yes, it's true, by all appearances, she is reeking ugly and is the world's ugliest woman. She's still a virgin and her name is Phyllis Diller Bonham. In a competition usually comprised of the world's ugliest, the creepy looking Bonham beat out 6...Read full story
Sinkhole Swallows the White House
WASHINGTON, D.C.--Residents are being evacuated from the White House due to a massive sinkhole that's already swallowed much of the Trump Administration. CNN reports that a depression the size of the Trump estate at Mar-a-Lago formed at around 8:...Read full story
Trump.com™ orders the Artic nuked so the worlds biggest ice berg can be towed to Washington to make an ice sculpture of him
Trump has declared he is winning so much that he is now the greatest world leader of all times that has ever been and to celebrate he has ordered the AirForce to Nuke the arctic and the Navy to tow back a big iceberg to be sculptured into his image.Read full story
O.J. Simpson Will Be the New Secretary of Commerce
Washington, DC Trump's new Secretary of Commerce will be O.J. Simpson announced the new White House Press Secretary. "President Trump feels that O.J. has had a lot of commerce experience, what with his running through the airports for Hertz, and...Read full story
Robert Mueller Lets His Antlers Grow Ahead of Looming Trump Battle
Just because it's been quiet at the special counsel's office doesn't mean that a fight isn't brewing between President Trump and Robert Mueller. Mueller's new rack, normally neatly trimmed, is proof enough that he expects to meet the president mano a...Read full story
Mitch McConnell Wants Healthcare Passed Before Winter Hibernation
Box Turtles in Kentucky stop eating and start getting sluggish sometime in the month of October, and that's why Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell desperately needs to pass an alternative to Obamacare by September. Mitch "The Bitch" McConnell...Read full story
Encomium by a Conflicted Republican
Friends, Republicans, deplorables, lend me your ears; I come to defend Donald Trump, and to praise him. The tweets that men post oft live after them; And good is oft interrèd with their boners. So let it be with Trump. Sarah Huckabee Hath told you Trump is a fighter. And so he is, however fatuous, And pettily hath Trump now proven it. Here under leave of Huckabee and the rest (For...Read full story
Secret audio of Trump/Putin meeting revealed!
A secret audio of Trump/Putin meeting just released on U-tube! Releaser apparently approved at highest level of the Kremlin! Trump: "Gimmee the pee-pee tape." Putin: "No! Trump: "Gimmee the pee-pee tape." Putin: "No! Trump: "Gimmee the pee...Read full story
Cash conscious Arsenal's no cost, new player plan, gets the red card from Wenger!
The Arsenal board of directors voted overwhelmingly to provide long serving coach Arsene Wenger with the extra resources he requested to find new talent. They unanimously agreed to do this, by giving their supporters a chance to play in home games...Read full story
Trump.com™ all Spaced Out in the Oval Office - Buzz Aldrin collapses and confined to bed after Traumatic Sphincter Spasm
At an oval office meeting with Buzz Aldrin the president blabbered out about how Mr. Space was a great team player. "Wouldn't that be nice? Can you believe that space is going to do that?" he is on official record as saying to the gathered audience.Read full story
Two friends sleeped with 356,000 virgins
Two friends, Abbott and Connor, enjoyed fabulous careers as sheep herders for over 50 years. The friends, who just turned 70, teamed up with a documentary filmmaker and made a film about their experiences. According to both, they are able to fully...Read full story
Trump Denounces Science, Announces New 'Age of Superstition'
Washington, DC President Donald Trump, in an obvious bid to create news that will take America's attention off the Trump Family Russian Investigation, denounced science again today. In a prepared statement delivered to the press by his new press secr...Read full story
Heather Coon the prostitute and spy
But, alas: Heather Coon, the musician and also an M20 spy who was deported from Syria in 2010 after pleading guilty to conspiracy charges, is now being accused of engaging in a psychological war against Russian leader Adrik Vartanyan. She has bee...Read full story
Andy Murray just pedantic and not really interested in women's issues
Andy Murray is being hailed as a hero among sports women the world over this week, for being "automatically programmed to credit the accomplishments of women", however he refuted the claims later stating that he just cant help being a pedant. The...Read full story
NY squirrel is a Terminator!
Arnold Schwarzenegger would be proud of a squirrel terrorising tourists in New York as they step off the ferry boats after visiting the Statue of Liberty! The squirrel perches on branches waiting to pounce on any Japanese nutter who dares offer ot...Read full story
The Chinese get smart by innovating faster
Wealthy Chinese men who fear the terrible prospects of child support payments, alimony payments, and community property laws have decided to hire American women to serve as surrogates for their children, creating a small but growing business of provi...Read full story
In an astonishing response to Sunderland midfielder Darren Gibson slating his city the Mayor of Sunderland has released this statement: "Let me start by saying Darren Gibson is a round chested, no class cunt who would injure himself wiping his ars...Read full story
Keeping Up With Trump's Presidential Records
As each month of Trump's presidential administration goes by, more presidential records are broken. So far, just a few of these include: --Smallest inauguration crowd --Most unprepared for the presidency --Fasted trip to the basement on approval polls --Least percentage amount of offices filled --Most firings ever --First President accused of spying --First President since colonial times...Read full story
I am Addicted to Pop-Tarts
To the Editor: I am an adult male in my thirties, ok, forties, in great shape. A family man. Hardworking. Loyal. I don't drink or gamble or smoke. Not even pot. But I have a secret. I am addicted to Pop-Tarts. Strawberry, never frosted, sometimes chocolate, frosted, and occasionally, around Christmas, frosted brown sugar. There, I said it, aloud, although anonymously. Can the voi...Read full story
Ex US Military Transgenders always welcome at Jaggedone's "Nutters Beach Club!"
Newsflash from Jaggedone's "Nutters Beach Club" Sand in the pu$sy guaranteed! Just opened the doors for our weekend bash with Volga Olga performing live after we tie up her dangling, knee-knocking, boobs! They're a knockout knee-job! Our Ch...Read full story
Babies are the cause of Earth's inevitable, apocalyptical destruction!
A scientific report claims dirty nappies, screaming babies, sleepless nights for parents, 9 months of pregnancy ending in torture for mums, in fact anything to do with babies will destroy the planet! Dads tend to feel differently about the report...Read full story
Sara's desperation Vol. 3
Space Log News: Six months after leaving earth the z23 computer picked up signals of the predatory aliens tracking the ship. In a final effort to save the crew, z32 transferred everyone into a capsule then released it as motionless debris. The mo...Read full story
Germany jumps into the future
A brilliant scientist has done the unbelievable, he has build a time machine that has allowed him to view Germany's future in the year 20016. Ronald Mallett, 69, had success with his design of a 'tunnel' of laser light that sends messages and rece...Read full story
Sunday Bloody Sunderland
Sunderland midfielder Darren Gibson has confirmed what the rest of the world already knows: that Sunderland are shite. Darren, who himself is quite shite, was caught on camera slagging off everything he could about the team, the city, his neighbou...Read full story
Rival Hockey team 'Scarecrow' their opponents.
Police were called after an ill-tempered rival women's hockey match, spiralled out of control. After being recipients of some fiery and unpenalized challenges, the visiting Ravens team,decide to'even things up'by deploying their infamous 'Scarecro...Read full story
Pre Season Permutations
Pre season for footballers is completely insane. Respected journalists lose their shit at hearing a drunk man at a bar saying Ronaldo is going to Juventus. People believe that players are moving clubs just because one of their social media team has l...Read full story
Kim Jun Un suffering from projectile disfunction
NK - After last weeks failed missile launch hit Kim Jong Un in the zipper, he has been issuing coded messages. The NSA has finally decoded the messages. Dr. D. Phase of the NSA pubic relations department held a press conference today to release t...Read full story
Rony Tobbins hot reactor walk injures scores Japanese authorities say
Fukushima, Japan - 331 people were treated for horrid burns after walking on hot nuclear corium during self-help guru Rony Tobbins' "Unleash the Canine Within" seminar in Fukushima, Japan, Mr. Sukanigga of TEPCO said. "It was ghastly", Ms. Hote...Read full story
The Flies in that Proposed 2018 Mars Manned Flyby
If Dennis Tito's manned flyby of Mars launches early next year as originally planned, the protesters will probably far outnumber those who come to cheer. Who would have thought that a mission to Mars could so divide this nation? The fault is clearly Tito's. He may be a wizard at investment management but he needs a public relations consultant to preview what he will say at a press conference. B...Read full story
Malaise: Spoof writer contemplates state of the union. "My country tis of thee, sweet land of liberty."
You're at your doctors appointment. The results of the blood tests and an x-ray have arrived. You expect he or she will prescribe an anti-biotic and that will resolve your feelings of "not being just right." No big deal. The doctor walks in, l...Read full story
"Gold Pooter" Features Halle Barry as First Female Bond
"The name's Bond--Jamirah Bond." You've read that right, the next 007 to hit the big screens in Gold Pooter is a female. Adding to the shock of the new female Bond is the fact that American actor Halle Barry will play the lead role. Bond fan...Read full story
Monument Charged in Animal Misconduct Case: Said to be the first of its kind, more likely to follow
Yet another American icon has tarnished his noble and commercially successful reputation-hurting the local tourist trade by anywhere from 12 to 39%, judging by newly purchased analytics used by the Uff-da Middle School Community Economics club, heade...Read full story
President Trump - I have something to say
I'm an artist and being an artist, I realize that I'm more sensitive than others. Not that makes me better, just more sensitive. And better. We're also more intuitive. Just the other day, I knew it was going to be a rainy day even before I saw any weather forecasts, for I could feel the foreboding, the darkness, a sense of sadness. Also, it had started to rain. But I wouldn't have even needed that...Read full story
Americant Airlines to double passengers per flight with THIS
Washington D.C. - The Federal courts have cleared the way for Americant Airlines to use THIS new invention to double passenger payload. The Federal courts have cleared the way for Americant Airlines to use THIS new invention to double passenger pa...Read full story
RSVP vacations for lesbians
Gay News: More than 2,000 lesbian travelers will sail from Port Everglades on an amazing RSVP sex-filled Vacations' seven-night Caribbean cruise aboard Holyland New Castle Line's ms Wonderland Adventure. In anticipation, the venomous cruise ship w...Read full story
New York Times invents new flying machine
New York, NY - The failing New York Times, in a drastic effort to save itself, has invented a new flying machine. Dubbed "The Cannard", the new machine has been problematic. Our secret source at the embattled NYT reveals the following about the pr...Read full story
Top South African model accused of being a racist because of a pair of gloves!
Now there are times whilst spoofing real stories that a top spoofer like Jaggedone just cannot believe reality, so he spoofs it anyway, and here is one story that just cannot be spoofed because it is so ridiculous, but JO wil try! A South African...Read full story
Trump Continues to Create Fake News to Obscure Russian Investigation
Washington, DC President Trump continues to make news that is obviously intended to obscure the negative results reported by the investigation. "The transgender in the military ruling" is an obvious smokescreen. Trump will do and say anything to g...Read full story
U.S. Intel: ISIS Sees Ally in Trump, GOP "They Are A Greater Threat To Americans Than Us"
American intelligence sources say they have intercepted communications at the highest level between ISIS and other terrorist groups that see an alignment between the goals of their organizations and the policies of the Republican Party. The source...Read full story
Did Emmanuel Macron Invite the Trumps to an Illuminati Ritual in Paris?
A million rumors and conspiracy theories are swirling on Twitter about French President Emmanuel Macron and his connection to Occult Magick. Recently, the feds hacked Facebook and circulated a picture of Macron with his hands making the Illuminati si...Read full story
Father wants to marry his lesbian daughter to a man
Money tycoon, Charles Lee, made global headlines in September 2012 when he offered £40m to any man who can convince his lesbian daughter, Cinderella Lee, to marry. The 57-year-old then doubled the money offering any bachelor $1billion (£80m) aft...Read full story
Joey Walnuts eats 72 Rockey Mountain Oysters to win Nathan's Famous title
Joey Walnuts continues to astonishing the world of competitive eating with his title as Rockey Mountain Oyster King. On Tuesday, the 21-year-old genius won the Nathan's Rockey Mountain Oysters Contest for the 10th time, breaking his own record by...Read full story
Syrian woman in deep trouble with no future
Damascus, Syria-- Police in Southern Syria have arrested a young woman who mistakenly forgot her Burka in the toilet during a number two. Her ugly face sparked outrage from people when a foreign photographer snapped a picture of her and informed...Read full story
Increase in beached whales around the UK - Brexit blamed
The number of whales, dolphins and porpoises landing on British beaches has peaked significantly in the past year. Marine biologists are baffled as to the cause, as sea conditions have not changed drastically in recent months. One scientist had a...Read full story
Jacko and I try to give Bill Cosby a hand at coming up with some stand-up material
Bill Cosby showed up at my humble abode the other day and asked me if I'd help him put together a stand-up routine. He said no TV stations were calling him for a new sit-com about being the perfect father. And he bemoaned the fact that no companies w...Read full story
Mensa Makes Special Genius Category For Trump
Mensa Makes Special Genius Category For Trump. Mensa, the international high intelligence group that only accepts people who pass a difficult IQ test, have in the age of Trump found a troubling enigma that causes them to review their statuses. T...Read full story
Parachutist on budget airline flight attempts to open door mid-air!
On a budget airline flight from Poland to the UK (not the one from Ireland!), a man wearing a parachute (rather unusual?) plonked himself in front of the emergency exit ready for a jump. During the flight, luckily, a stewardess observed the strang...Read full story
Germany discovers an evolutionary secret
German Science Academy- "A core base of evolution has been discovered," says the German Council of the MIE, Most Intelligent Emeritus, an organization of gifted German intellectuals. The MIE are a logical group, deciding their actions on complex c...Read full story
Security robot dies chasing after a bird
Washington DC - A security robot answering to the name "Tin man", was found tipped over in a fountain in the cities largest mall today. Tin moonlighted as a gigilo in addition to his security job. A bird drinking at the walk in fountain triggered Ti...Read full story
Trump.com™ has been struck with Your Fired Constipation Syndrome™
Despite how much Sessions has wronged his most beloved, benevolent, eminence el Presidente Trump.com™ has been struck with Your Fired Constipation Syndrome™. He has been trying to say the 2 words all week but not even extensive laxatives...Read full story
Trump: Lost In Translation
American President Donald Trump recently visited France for Bastille Day festivities, and took the time out from his busy schedule of insulting C-List celebrities on Twitter to sit down with the French media. It was not a good idea. Believing t...Read full story
Brit Olympic bath towel hurlers conquer almighty German tourists in Gran Canaria!
The annual Olympic bath towel hurling event across Europe during the holiday period has culminated in a grand final on Gran Canaria and, surprise, surprise, Brits beat the Germans in a bath-towel penalty shoot-out early on Sunday morning! How they...Read full story
Santa Fez Cops Hospitalized After Eating Chainsaw Repair Sushi
Dozens of Santa Fez police officers were sickened after eating suspect sushi provided by a caterer that normally provides chainsaw sharpening and repairs in this small New Mexico town. Police Dis-information Officer, Reggie Gruet, said the busines...Read full story
Pardon Trump? Okay?
Pardon me? Collusion with an adversary, money laundering with the mafia, slandering political opponents, obfuscation, deception and blatant lying are not the equivalency of a sneeze. Achoo! Pardon me. God bless. "I'm being audited. I can't rel...Read full story
Indian Gurus demand to have their brains frozen!
After spending years in a deep freezer Indian Guru, Ashutosh Maharaj, has won his case to remain there until his followers pull the plug or they cannot pay the electricity bill! Now Gurus all over India are demanding the same right as their frozen...Read full story
The time traveler and his time machine Vol. 1
Alister Darwin, a physics professor, makes an astonishing breakthrough in quantum physics which allowes him to construct a time machine in 1866. He makes a drastic decision, to takes a one way trip into the future 2.1 million years, his friends ca...Read full story
Mexico is exporting fags into Africa
A Mexican multinational company best known for Delicados fags, has developed a corporate strategy to flood Africa with over a millions fags using fancy commercials like: "Africa, it's time to put a long Mexican fag into your mouth to savor the flavor...Read full story
"No Justice, No Peace" Replaces "Have A Nice Day"
"No justice, no peace" has become the most used phrase in the United States, according to the Center for International Justice and Peace, which recently changed its name from the International Peace and Justice Center. A spokesperson from the cent...Read full story
Fishy goings on in UK Sushi Bars; they stink!
Punters sitting watching their fishy snacks rotate in Sushi Bars are being treated like "rotting cod" by the owners because they don't even know which fish they are serving! It seems that many supermarkets, Sushi Bars and fishmongers are flogging...Read full story
Robert Mueller To Trump: Don't call me Fly Face!
BILLINGSGATE POST: One of the most disgusting villains in the chronicles of crime was Felix Weatherlimmp, aka Fly Face; a one time Washington lawyer who was constantly surrounded by a cloud of flies. Fly Face often partnered with crime boss William M...Read full story
North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-Un Confesses About Missing Wife
Pyongyang, North Korea Speculation about the missing spouse of portly North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un finally lead to a statement from Kim's public relations office. "Mr. Kim says that he was very sorry, especially since he knows how much the co...Read full story
Indian tomato war spreads as ketchup runs out!
Dramatic scenes of tomato warfare have been witnessed in major Indian cities as tomato prices soar and ketchup runs out! In Spain, the famous tomato throwing fiesta called La Tomatina, in Valencia, has been postponed because multi-millionaire Ind...Read full story
We Are A Fly On The Wall At The Republican Formation Of The New Health Plan.
"What are we going to do?" whispered Mitch McConnell secretly to Mike Pence. " If we don't get this new AbominableCare bill through our handlers will come down on us heavy!" "First off, I think we should change the name. It sounds too much like Ob...Read full story
Chicken Little: "Oh my, the sky is warming!"
Chicken Little looked puzzled as a perspiring Little Red Hen fluttered down from the nest where she was sitting on a clutch of their eggs. "You left those eggs alone half an hour ago," he cautioned. "If you want them to hatch, shouldn't you stay on them longer than that?" "I don't understand it," the Little Red Hen responded. "I didn't used to get so hot sitting on eggs. All the other sitti...Read full story
For a couple of decades now, I've made a practice of celebrating the Fourth of July by reading the founding and historical documents that underlie the exercise in representative democracy that is the United States. This has given me a new appreciatio...Read full story
Granite counter tops no longer in fashion
Emmaus, PA - Once the height of fashion, granite counter tops are going the way of the Studebaker. What's in fashion now, according to Ms. McBoobay, Emmaus real estate agent, are the old counter tops that were in during the 1990's. The cheap old com...Read full story
Boyfriend makes girlfriend shoot him to get some social media hits - Gets a big hit but doesn't end well
A contender for this years Darwin Awards is a young guy who spent months talking his girlfriend into shooting him on camera. Satire writers union rep stated "The story is another example of encroachment upon satire writers turf as this is clearly...Read full story
Donald Junior and Veselnitskaya case to get "Smoking Bun 2017" Award
In response to the latest deviltry committed by the Kremlin to put its stooge Donald Trump into the presidency, Donald Junior now stands acquitted. True, he was caught red-faced for being enthused that dirt might be available on Hillary Clinton, f...Read full story