Written by Jaggedone

Monday, 3 July 2017


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for UK Police officer nicks a biscuit and this spoof "takes the biscuit!"
Crumbs! Hands off my biscuit Mr Plod!

Now this spoof is actually a news article which takes the biscuit, and not the piss! Yes Jaggedone lovers, this is happening in the UK police force all the time!

A police officer nicked a packet of biscuits from his colleague. He then handed the open packet of biscuits to his other colleagues, being the gentle, kind police officer that he once was. The owner of the biscuits took offence to his colleague nicking them and reported it to his senior officer who then put the "thief" on restricted duties and tied him to the Nick where he is now working!

So as terrorists, thugs, criminals, wife beaters, paedophiles, drug dealers, etc, roam around the streets of London doing their dirty deeds, this officer is restricted to office desk work for a year, and is not allowed to stamp the beat where he once helped catch such dastardly, vicious rascals!

A packet of biscuits has taken the all time biscuit in my superior spoofing career because this spoof is actually happening, and although I twisted it slightly (our editor loves a twist or two), I am virtually left with the crumbs of any common sense, logic or rationality!

Never mind, time for a chocolate digestive to dunk in my tea, that belongs to me, and if anybody nicks it like my missus for example, I'll tie her to the bed; CRUMBS, is that a promise?!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Biscuits

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
55 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more