New York, NY - The failing New York Times, in a drastic effort to save itself, has invented a new flying machine. Dubbed "The Cannard", the new machine has been problematic. Our secret source at the embattled NYT reveals the following about the program.
The machine was inspired one day when the chief editor went duck hunting, while drinking aspartame polluted beverages, only to have duck crap land in his face. It was then that he resolved to build a flying machine that would put all those deplorable ducks to shame.
The engineers knew they were in trouble when the machine lost its letter 'F'. Uck! they exclaimed!
Instead of flying the machine just kept on lying. Rumors abound the NYT will cancel the Cannard program and erase all the evidence that it ever existed.