Robert Mueller Lets His Antlers Grow Ahead of Looming Trump Battle

Funny story written by XRhonda Speaks

Sunday, 9 July 2017

image for Robert Mueller Lets His Antlers Grow Ahead of Looming Trump Battle
Mueller's fans say he can beat President Trump in any format with or without his rack.

Just because it's been quiet at the special counsel's office doesn't mean that a fight isn't brewing between President Trump and Robert Mueller. Mueller's new rack, normally neatly trimmed, is proof enough that he expects to meet the president mano a mano at some point.

It's not clear yet if they will meet in a WWE wrestling format or an MMA style match-up, though Trump would clearly be at a disadvantage in the unscripted MMA format where real fighting skills matter.

Sources close to Mueller say he can handle Trump in any format and that letting his antlers grow is all part of his mental game of dominating his opponent before he even gets in the ring.

Fight commentator Jimmie Plumme told this reporter that Mueller is wise to gear up for a fight after Trump's mostly successful Media Smack Down Tour.

"The media just wasn't prepared for the ferocity of Trump's attack and the loyalty of his supporters. Mueller has been watching and learning and he's already rallied millions to his side without saying a single word to the public-and by the way women love his impressive rack and correspondingly support Mueller by a two to one margin over the president."

Will the antlers make a difference for Mueller?

"Absolutely they will," Plumme tells us. "Even if the format is Sumo, Mueller can literally cage someone with his antlers, but it's also important for him to keep Trump from goring him with those horns, which are rumored to harbor drug resistant Ukrainian spirochetes."

Las Vegas odds makers are already giving Mueller the advantage in any potential battle between the two titans, citing the presidents lack of stamina in his light saber battle with Barrack Obama.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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