Written by Al N.

Saturday, 22 July 2017

image for O.J. Says He Doesn't Care About His Old Trophies Anymore Because He's Going to Win New Ones
Trophy O.J. grabbed from another inmate while in prison, insisting it was his.

Lovelock Correctional Center, Lovelock, Nevada Newly paroled convict O.J. Simpson, winner of the Heisman Trophy and other sporting awards, told reporters about how it no longer bothers him if people buy and sell his old trophies. Simpson has spent nine years in jail because of an incident where O.J. was trying to retrieve his old trophies.

"That's because I plan on going back into being a running back in the NFL and setting new records. The new trophy I'm going to win will be worth a lot more than the old one!" stated Simpson. "I mean, if Trump can be elected President, that just lets me know that anything is possible. Even a narcissist like me can see that if Trump can get away with all he does, it's a brand new world for someone like me!"

"After I get a Super Bowl ring, I plan on returning to USC (University of Southern California) as a freshman and winning a new Heisman Trophy! Then they'll really know O.J. is back!" said Simpson.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: O. J. Simpson

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
52 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more