Written by humanoid

Monday, 17 July 2017

image for Joey Walnuts eats 72 Rockey Mountain Oysters to win Nathan's Famous title

Joey Walnuts continues to astonishing the world of competitive eating with his title as Rockey Mountain Oyster King.

On Tuesday, the 21-year-old genius won the Nathan's Rockey Mountain Oysters Contest for the 10th time, breaking his own record by chewing down 72 slimy Rockey Mountain Oysters, like they were tiny cocktail shrimp.

The women's competition was more impressive: Nakita Fishburn's immaculate consumption of 200 Rockey Mountain Oysters was good enough to deliver her a fourth title.

"There's no secret, I love to eat, and I love doing it, I love to win, so I had to figure out my body and push it to the limit," Nakita said after her victory.

La Femme Nikita, as she is pleasantly known, says she practices regularly by eating twenty pounds of cake in thirty minutes.

Instead of jogging for health like Rockey Balboa, she prefers to join the Alaskan Eskimos on their yearly Whale blubber eating escapades.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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