The Zendora Continent of Planet Zigora struggles to reduce racism

Written by Purple Girl

Tuesday, 4 July 2017

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Police Chief Ixxy Pao is utterly frustrated at the amount of racism in his area.

Zendora has always been a rather temperate continent on Planet Zigora, with rather peaceful peoples. Over the years, it has become more of a diverse melting pot of cultures. In recent years, sadly, the various cultures have began to clash.

For instance, take Diversica, a rather large nation in Zendora. The peoples are divided into at least 10 races, commonly known as Purple, Green, Blue, Orange, Grey, Spotted, Striped, Dicephalous, Slimaceous, and Tentacletian.

Diversican Police are getting rather frustrated by the racial component that exists in at least 9 out of 10 crimes.

Police Chief, Ixxy Pao, says, "Every day, it's the same thing. The majority of complaints and calls we get involve race, physical attributes, skin color, or skin type."

Chief Pao gave us the following list of typical complaints that the police must handle daily:

* Purple women alleging violent assaults by Green men.

* Purple individuals claiming they are being singled out because of their race and having unwanted help forced on them by mostly Green people.

* Slimaceous people demanding that restaurants let them work or eat there, with the restaurants complaining that it would be unsanitary to do so.

* Beings of various races complaining that some Orange person has robbed them.

* Fights start because someone tells one or more of the Striped or Spotted people that they look or smell like animals. Sometimes calling them mooviers or dogoids is what provokes the fights. For Earthlings to understand, a moovier is a large, 4-legged creature that is cultivated for milk and meat, much like a cow on Planet Earth. A dogoid is much like a dog on Earth, except it has 2 heads, and often more than one tail.

* Fights start because someone tells a Tentacletian that they constantly have a particular foul crime in mind that involves their many tentacles.

* Calls to the police that the Blue people are plotting terrorism, invading their cities, subverting the government, or taking over the world.

* Blue people reporting anti-cyanism, burning objects in their yards, and assaults that also involve the perpetrators yelling that a former dictator, Adax Hitao, should have finished them off.

* Reports of riot balls where many fighting beings are stuck to one another. That usually involves those who are Purple, Green, Blue, Orange, Tentacletian, and/or Slimaceous.

Authorities don't know how to handle this and if anything can be done. Chief Pao says, "I can't understand why we all can't just get along. We are about ready to try almost anything. This is way too much!"

Diveriscan 32 district Representative Plixxy Zixaou says, "I'm prepared to help draft a bill to address this racism epidemic."

Representative Zixaou's ideas include laws against sexual harassment between the races, hate crime enhancements for thefts and violence occurring across ethnic lines, greater penalties for inciting riots, and more inclusive public accommodation laws.

Education and grants to help solve unique challenges are also being considered. Slimacians, for instance, have difficulty finding public accommodations due to their constant slime production. Part of that is due to health concerns. Restaurants can be fitted with equipment to ease the burden on owners in terms of cleaning up after Slimacian guests. However, this new equipment is rather expensive, and thus cost prohibitive for most restaurateurs. Still, federal grants could help restaurateurs retrofit their establishments. Thus Slimacians will no longer be excluded and the restaurants can have more customers.

Riot balls could be reduced with new crowd dispersant technology. For instance, researchers are developing a foam that they hope could help. The proposed foam would contain things such as detergents, lubricants, anxiolytics, and muscle relaxants. So the foam would help make such a mob less aggressive, more relaxed, and better able to detangle each other. Physiology is part of what causes the riot ball problem, since being stuck to others increases stress, and increased stress and aggression makes it harder to separate. Anatomy plays a role too, as beings that produce slime or have many tentacles are more likely to become attached to other individuals than those who lack such characteristics.

Citizens are hoping that a combination of new technology, new laws, education, and new tactics, this racism epidemic can be reduced substantially.

"I just hope that everyone can just learn to get along," says Greena Xuma, a local Green citizen who hopes for peace.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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