Germany discovers an evolutionary secret

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Sunday, 23 July 2017


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Paul Goebbels, leader of the MIE.

German Science Academy- "A core base of evolution has been discovered," says the German Council of the MIE, Most Intelligent Emeritus, an organization of gifted German intellectuals.

The MIE are a logical group, deciding their actions on complex calculations rather than on personal opinions or emotion.

In 3016, the MIE build a mouse world with natural structures and limitless food. They introduced thirty mice to the population. Two years later, the mice had created their own utopia. This is the reason.

Universe 01 was a giant box the size of a square block designed to be a rodent observation venue to see the workings of evolution. The box was divided into 6 isolated sections to isolate gene types.

The MIE had designed quite a few amenities to the mouse environments within the box sections, like running wheels, tiny swimming pools, two bedroom mini-houses made of metal, blocks of hard wood for their teeth, and fresh green gardens. They didn't expect to be watching a happy story.

They separated mice by age, intelligence and gender, to observe the different outcomes.

Group A: The old male mice with the youngest females produced healthy and intelligent offspring. They were the most abundant with a stable evolution. Mutations were minimal.

Group B: Old male mice with old female mice produced the healthiest and most intelligent mice, but the population quickly vanished when most of the old female died unable to finish nursing the newborn. The few that survived repeated the process until only a few female offspring remained and were unable to breed, ending the dwindling population.

Group C: Same sex male mice, simulating homosexuality, produced no offspring and quickly vanished.

Group D: Same sex female mice, simulating lesbianism, produced no offspring and quickly vanished.

Group E: Young male mice with young females produced unhealthy offspring with a high density of mutations after several generations.

Alternative Group F: Intelligent mice were transferred to this section to observe what humanity's future might look like. In all the sections, researchers placed sweet fruits into complex contraptions to find the smartest mice capable of solving the methods to get at the sweet treats. They were called the beautiful mice because of their ability to organize themselves in Section F and to use tools to better their outcome. The males organized harems of the smartest females pushing the less intelligent ones out to another section of their compound where researchers removed them. They used several computers to learn math and to teach young mice to read.

The MIE formed theories from their observations. The base core observation, shows that old mammals, both male and female, that breed with each other and with young individuals are critical to the health of a population because they have longevity genes well adapted to their particular environment, they are also intelligent within their environment. The genes of these old mammals attach themselves to mutations from younger mammals, produced in the sex organs of young mammals, allowing evolution to test the mutations for the longest period possible against different types of environments. The attachment occurs at the cellular level with the union of egg and sperm.

They also discovered that young mammals carry new mutations that increase intelligence and they also carry new physical adaptations to survive their current environment. The mutations occurred in the sex organs. This is true for all lifeforms on earth and across the universe.

Homosexual and lesbian couples produced no birthing.

Old couples that were paired produced the healthiest offspring, but need young individuals as surrogate parents. This surrogacy helps the group of the young individuals by increasing longevity.

Young couples that were paired cancelled their DNA from excessive, negative mutations which quickly spread in their population. There was no DNA from old individuals to carry the good mutations forward in time. Good and bad mutations attach themselves to longevity genes. The bad mutations die with the longevity genes. The good mutations last longer with the longevity genes spreading more of the good genes around with extra time.

The MIE discovered that pairing young heterosexual couples with old heterosexual couples produced a progressive evolution.

Old female's past menopause controlled the population when paired with young males.

Old female's under menopause paired with young males produced the healthy offspring which carried new mutations, the rate of survival depends on the males caring for the offspring after the females die.

Old males paired with young females produced healthier genes that were the longest lived genes with new mutations coming from the cellular level. The rate of survival depends on the females caring for the offspring.

The core base of evolution is called "balance," between the young and old which is a universal law of physics.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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