Yes, His Athletic Feats Show Donald Trump to be a Real Bad-ass!

Funny story written by Dr. Jackass and Mr. Hide

Sunday, 9 July 2017

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This 71-year-old lunatic has egomania galore and he's certainly good a flaunting it to the world.

Donald Trump's recent "tweet" about him being some bad-ass WWF dynamo who pins a CNN reporter to the mat shows the delusional wanderings of a truly insane lunatic.

Come on, Donald Trump, some wiry kid that weighs 1/3 your weight who is in halfway decent physical shape could put your silly ass into the intensive care unit of The George Washington University Hospital. You're so out of shape that when older dignitaries in Europe's G-7 Summit had to walk a short distance - 700 yards to get to the Greek Amphitheatre - you took a golf cart. If you're such a threat, why do you need an entire entourage of federally-appointed bodyguards and why did you hire a fleet of "for hire" thugs to watch over your every move, too? If you're so bad, why don't you go out on a lark some day, and while visiting the Columbus Zoo, walk into the lion's den and whip those vicious cats like pitiful kittens? Why don't you walk on for the Washington Redskins and tell Daniel Snyder you'd like to try out for left defensive tackle?

And no, I am not advocating in any way that violence against this pathetic little orange man with small hands be in order - I am only postulating that Trump is a megalomaniac who thinks he's a physical threat. He advocates violence against members of the media with this tweet; and yes, I hope he gets into much better condition so when he is sentenced to a federal prison sometime in the distant future, he can at least fight his way out of jams with guys named "Killer" or "One-Eyed Oscar" or "Whack the Lumberjack".

You're such a lazy, worthless slob, Donald Trump, that you even drove a golf cart onto a green at the Trump National Golf Club in New Jersey. Even though Trump owns this golf course, this is something that even a golf course owner should never do. People who don't golf know this was a major faux pas for the Gropensteinian Monster to perform.

The man who you are most jealous of, Barack Obama, invited his NBA friends to the White House on occasion and played some back-yard hoops with them. Obama never made anything out of it other than the fact that he enjoys the game of basketball and he likes to play the game with some contemporary all-time greats.

All during Obama's Presidency, you complained about how much time #44 was spending on the golf course. Why don't you start complaining about "W" painting his watercolors and oils, or Jimmy Carter building Habitat for Humanity homes? Why don't you complain about Ronald Reagan rolling around in his grave, knowing what kind of a mockery you have made of the Republican Party? Now this is an athletic feat for a real athlete - rolling around in one's grave. And like him or not, Ronnie stayed in shape even after he got struck with that nasty Old Timer's Bug. You, however, Donald Trump, have no one to blame except Lucifer for all your paranoia, delusion, megalomania, rabid vindictive attitude, and your low I.Q. You are going to go down in history as the worst U.S. President ever, if there is a history to the U.S.A. (and let' not leave out the entire fucking world) with that little thingamajig you carry around in the breast pocket of your golf jacket. After you blow up Mother Earth, there will be a long nuclear winter followed by an even longer 4,000-degree nuclear summer. Thanks Vladimir, you'll be part of the party, too! Look what kind of Trumpensteinian Monster you've created with all that election jigging you performed. I hope you're happy, you sniveling little KGB rat!

Everyone is so concerned about Kim Jong-un's attempts of landing a nuclear warhead somewhere in the USA. Forget Kim Jong-un, let's worry about the guy who sometimes makes stops at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue to sign executive orders for another race to make world refugees of - now, I guess, Trump is thinking of deporting American Indians to India. Now this sounds like real fake news to me, but with the Great Orange One, anything's possible. He's sort of like God, only in reverse and driving 110 miles per hour. Well, if it is true, I guess we'll all have to get really good with computers so we can service others' PCs the world over and switch our fancies from frybread to goat, chicken, and ox meat covered in curry. Hey, it won't be our first deportation or apartheid rendezvous. It's happened time and time again.


Yes, Donald Trump, you'll most likely be on a golf course the day you press that big red button so the entire world explodes. You'll be the biggest bad-ass to ever walk the earth.

I know you'll be golfing the day those big fireworks hit the sky with their "rockets red glare". You have conducted much of your trainwreck of a Presidency on a golf cart. It's a great place to hold secret meetings, conduct surreptitious business deals, and line up dates with Russian prostitutes by way of some Russian spy dressed as a golf course usher.

"Hey Boris, get over here right now and tee this ball up for me! And Viktor, you just drive that golf cart onto that green over yonder and run over that cute little redhead, throw her in the trunk of this golf cart and wheel her on back to Mar-A-Lago! I want her! She's mine!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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