House Speaker Nancy Pelosi Diagnosed With Terminal Persimmon Winter-Kill Syndrome

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Tuesday, 18 July 2017

image for House Speaker Nancy Pelosi Diagnosed With Terminal Persimmon Winter-Kill Syndrome
Before and After

BILLINGSGATE POST: In an interview this morning on MSNBC, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi referred to President Bush three different times in a rambling, incoherent discussion regarding her victory in forcing Bush to set a new shutdown deadline.

She was later reported to have been checked into a Washington hospital after having been diagnosed as having TPWKS (Terminal Persimmon Winter-Kill Syndrome).

Taxidermically speaking, this particular abnormality shows up on many older women who have undergone seven or more face-lifts. Those afflicted usually have very deep crevices in the lingual area of the face, along with a deep red cast to their epidermal surface, similar to the color of a persimmon. Many long-in-the-tooth cowgirls have had this condition, including Calamity Jane and Ma Kettle. The difference though, is that they earned it the old-fashioned way: by riding herd, and cooking for the wranglers back when men were men and women were jealous of the sheep.

The only known cure for this malady, other than having the patient's head cryogenically crystallized at -200 degrees Centigrade, is by dunking the head into a freezing astringent solution that unpuckers the skin, and makes the redness disappear. Neither treatment is without risks.

In a tweet from President Trump:

"Although Nancy and I have been on different sides of the fence, she makes me feel good when she blames all of my failures on President Bush. I wish her a speedy recovery."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more