Snoop Dogg Knocks Up Martha Stewart?

Funny story written by XRhonda Speaks

Sunday, 16 July 2017


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No date has been set for the Stewart-Dogg wedding.

Hollywood's newest power couple has announced that they are expecting a baby: According to friends of the engaged couple, Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg have been house shopping in anticipation of starting a family.

What's not clear however is if this is their actual biological child: because of Snoop's drug use and Stewart's age it's rumored that they will be adopting or hiring a surrogate mother to carry the baby to term.

The couple also want to have a bigger family than Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie as Stewart told an incorrigible Howard Stern on his radio show:

"We want to go to Palestine or Peru to adopt our pups, anyplace that Brangelina didn't go to adopt their kids."

Stern insisted on asking Stewart about the details of her sex life and her expected child.

"Martha, you look great and you'd look great pregnant too, but you aren't pregnant are you? The question on everybody's mind now is did Snoop Dogg knock you up? I mean both of you guys are gorgeous and sexy--don't you want to have sex all the time? So having a baby is just natural...And what about that silver tongued fiance of yours? Does he use his cunning linguistics on you?"

Martha blushed, but sidestepped Stern's more prying questions.

"Thank you for the compliments Howard, once our pup arrives we will reveal more, for now the details are a private family matter."

Last week Robert Downey Jr. told Hollywood Insider that he and Snoop Dogg talked about Downey becoming an adult adopted child to the couple.

"It was so sweet of them to ask if they could adopt me, I just didn't want to move to the mountains of Colorado. But I suggested the idea to Snoop that they adopt Tupac posthumously, and it seems Tupac's family likes the idea so far. I think it would be great to see Martha and Snoop have a larger family than Brad and Angelina did."

Snoop Dogg became attracted to Stewart after her time in prison for insider trading. Friends say Snoop wanted a girlfriend who had spent time in prison to help his street creds because of his own lack of a criminal history. In fact Snoop Dogg is a shy Lithuanian Jew (or Litvak) from Queens who didn't become black until he moved to Long Beach, CA, when he was twelve years old.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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