Washington, DC President Donald Trump, in an obvious bid to create news that will take America's attention off the Trump Family Russian Investigation, denounced science again today. In a prepared statement delivered to the press by his new press secretary, Emmett B. Clown, Trump explained.
"Everything was much better before Science stuck their noses into everything. People could see the sun and worshiping it seemed to work. Some people want to worship me. It doesn't bother me, it's not hurting anybody. So people talk about how everybody just had all these crazy superstitions before Science tried to explain everything their way and make everyone else look stupid," the Trump statement read.
"So we need to bring back superstition!' said Trump, promising to use "Bring back superstition" as a campaign slogan.