There were 1,698 spoof news stories published in 2017. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to browse the spoof news archives.
Munchkins from the Wizard of Oz Demand Recount of 1939 Oscar Race
"Gone With The Wind" won for Best Picture that year. Supposedly. But who knows, say the Munchkins. The recent error in the announcement of Best Picture in the 2017 race is the catalyst for the action of the little people, who have commented, "Hey, mi...
Read full storyOfficial Retirement Age Upped to 95 in the US
It happened shortly after Prince Philip announced his impending retirement. Members of the U.S. Congress, eager to extend their own gravy train and justify that extension as totally normal, were eager to vote this into law. "I'm all for it," said...
Read full storyDrone Crashes Through Window, Lands in NY Apartment
Yikes! Are the aliens from outer space arriving? No, not yet, anyway. There's an interesting backstory here. A reporter from The Spoof, one skilled in talking and understanding "drone talk," has gotten the scoop from the nosy drone. Here's the skinny. Apparently the drone was flying near the apartment house when he noticed that one of the residents was watching the movie "Star Wars,"...
Read full storyUSA Workers Declare Next Friday ME-FIRST DAY!
They got the idea for this when they recently saw an airliner get passengers off a plane to make room for airline employees who needed transport to a work destination. "Yes," one employee shouted, continuing, "Up with employees, down with the cus...
Read full storyThe 14,000-year-old Cave Etchings in Spain: Back to the Future?
Plenty of animals depicted in the etchings, of course. But that's not all. Analysis of the etchings provided some surprises. Here are a few of them: -- Renditions, at various stages of development, of the recently completed (FINALLY!) Second Avenue Subway in NYC. -- Flying thingies that resemble drones. -- An Amazon bookstore. -- A woman's pantsuit with the initials 'HC' on the collar...
Read full storyFire And Fury Was A Spell-Check Typo, Says Trump
It would appear that everyone misunderstood President Trump's threats to North Korea, when he said, "They will be met with fire, fury and frankly power the likes of which this world has never seen before." Reacting to provocative nuclear missile t...
Read full storyThe Swedish White Moose: Why Is He White?
A few possible explanations: He's not of this world. He's a ghost. He's hoping to get a part in a remake of the 1990 movie GHOST. His momma gave him a bath and she scrubbed too hard. He's In costume. Getting ready for Halloween a little earl...
Read full storyDrones Don't Get Invited to City's New Year's Eve Bash
Outrage was in evidence among drones (y'know, those flying thingies that come in all sizes and shapes) when they learned they were not invited to the massive party thrown by the city of White Plains, north of New York City. More specifically, the d...
Read full storyShould Mermaids Make More Money Than Mermen?
"Absolutely not," said one merman. "I mean, mermaids are a dime a dozen, not rare or unique at all, so they just deserve a standard rate, right?" He continued, "Mermen, on the other hand, are unique and rare, and deserve to be paid premium rates."...
Read full storyFalcons (NOT the Football Player Variety) on a Plane
Folks on the Internet were surprised to see recently a photo of a big group of falcons relaxing while traveling in the cabin of a plane! Interviews with the flying falcons revealed a number of interesting things about the flight: -- For some of the falcons it was a maiden voyage. The rookie falcons put the airline-provided barf bags over their heads, so they wouldn't have to "see" the takeof...
Read full storyAfter IQ test results MENSA confirm Trump.com™ not a Moron - Didn't score enough points to reach Moron category
After the infamous MENSA Tillerson Trump.com™ IQ Challenge the test results have been published. Despite assurances from Tillerson that Trump.com™ was a moron it now turns out that Trump.com™ did not score enough points to reach...
Read full storyTrump Sneaks in an Executive Order Putting His Face on the $100 Dollar Bill and Plans on Charging Royalties
Mar-A-Lago, FL U.S. Secretary of the Treasury Steven Mnuchin was shocked when he went to inspect the new $100 bills and saw Trump's picture on them! But Mnuchin was even more shocked when he realized that Trump claimed he had the right to take a...
Read full storyCars 3 to Include First Gay Scene Between Two Cars
Cars 3, the third instalment of the highly popular Disney/Pixar Studios films about a bunch of racing cars, will feature the first gays scene between two cars in film history. In a move that will please liberals and shock republicans in equal meas...
Read full story132-Year-Old Lobster Sues, Claims Elder Abuse
Onlookers rejoiced recently when Louie the lobster, having lived the last 30 years of his life in a tank at a Long Island restaurant, was finally set free and returned to the ocean. But Louie is not a totally happy camper and has revealed that he...
Read full storyIvanka Trump Sex Video Goes Viral
Ivanka Trump is making no apologies for a sex video that has recently gone viral on the internet. "Hey", she protested, "my hubby and I are entitled to a romantic getaway just like any other couple, and daddy happens to have a large number of hote...
Read full storyMan in love with desperate Mexican transgender
A Syrian man named Abu is believed to be the fattest man alive and he is in love with a Mexican transgender according to celebrity gossip. His weight reached an incredible 500 kilograms and he smells like an old sardine can. Iman Ahmad Abdulati,...
Read full storyBodybuilder Squeezes Coal Between Butt Cheeks to Create Diamonds
Forget buns of steel, champion bodybuilder Debi Lou Byrd has set a world precedent for any athlete: her buns can literally squeeze coal into diamonds. Debi's Diamonds are very small and not up to gem quality and so the diamond industry has barely...
Read full storyInternational Union of Clowns Awards Donald Trump Lifetime Membership
The International Union of Clowns, after having their convention that they all rode to in one tiny car, announced that they would be awarding Predident Donald Trump a lifetime membership in the prestigious clown union. "We feel that no one has hel...
Read full storyThe Trump Economic Miracle Explained by His Followers Using One Easy Chart
Washington - Donald Trump and White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders have recently described the economic period established in February of this year under his administration as the "Trump Miracle", and his dwindling number of followers a...
Read full storyA Psychic Reveals His 2017 Celebrity Predictions
The Amazing Fernando, a clairvoyant (and part time locksmith), has disclosed his latest celebrity predictions, making the world privy to the spooky insights of a man clinically proven to have the psychic ability of fourteen men and a horse. "And n...
Read full storyPutin hacked the Super Bowl
Moscow - Putin held a parade in Red Square Monday to celebrate the KGB victory in America's Super Bowl. Whistle-blower Alexakranicov Lexippenin reports that the Bose head sets were "totally hacked, comrade! " He explained how Putin gained total c...
Read full story74 year-old Ninja cat burglar faster than Japanese police!
Osaka, Japan: A spate of robberies bamboozled Japanese police in Osaka as every time the cat burglar struck he was so fast nobody could catch him! Dressed in a Ninja outfit, the police thought he must be an upset Ninja warrior frustrated at not be...
Read full storyGirl Steals Hat, Reveals Pope's Illuminati Tattoo
When adorable 3 year old Ester Ruth snatched Pope Francis' hat from his head outside of the Vatican, she also revealed a little known fact about the pontiff: Pope Francis has several tattoos including an Illuminati inspired design on the top of his h...
Read full storyHuge asteroid zooming towards earth is carrying aliens!
NASA Scientists have discovered a huge asteroid, as big a Wembley football ground, zooming towards earth loaded with aliens! It was reported by a 'super Star' UK tabloid to the world, and alien spotters went nuts on the internet hoping to get info...
Read full storyNorth Korean Dictator Kim Jong Un Seriously Injured by Generals Losing Balance From Giant Hats and Falling on Him
Pyongyang, NK North Korean hereditary dictator, Kim Jong Un, the man who helped put the "dic" in dictator, was seriously injured today. This has caused the North Korean people to weep and wail uncontrollably, while the rest of the world cheers and co...
Read full storyMarine Corps reveal photos reveal all
THE PENTAGON - Male Marines shared naked photographs of female Marines on a not-so-secret Facebook page. Allegedly, a few of the pictures were taken without the "models'" knowledge or consent. Captions to the photos included "obscene comments...
Read full storyMan converts mailbox into recycle bin
Norm Johnson of Milwaukee Wisconsin has retrofitted his mail box to be his recyclable bin. "Basically I just cut the bottom out of my mailbox at the foot of my drive way and rolled my recycle bin underneath it." Letter carrier Irene Shephe...
Read full storyWhat Does it Take to Become a Good Private Investigator?
Private examination is a vocation. The individuals who mean to go into the activity are relied upon to have some formal preparing. In Los Angeles for example certain prerequisite must be met before one turns into a Los Angeles Private Investigator ex...
Read full storyChinese pot noodles hit by pizza tsunami!
The basic diet of billions of Chinese is being swept from under their bare feet by an 'Italian tsunami' causing a 'Domino' effect on the nutritional foundations of the most populated country on the planet! Chinese pot noodles, eaten by the rich, t...
Read full storyAlien Cosmetics to produce makeup for purple women
Alien Cosmetics just announced its intentions of producing a line of makeup for purple women called Plum Adorable™. According to Purplicia Greene, spokeswoman for Alien Cosmetics, "Purple women have had to do without proper makeup for years...
Read full storyNorth Korea to dominate Buffoon Clown Axis of Evil deploying secret weapon - Big Hats™
After the recent Axis of Evil BratSpat tantrums over who is the biggest Honky Cat in the Pack, North Korea has unveiled its ultra secret weapon that its scientists have been developing for decades. The array of big hats being worn by the general...
Read full storyPhysicist Breaks the Law of Conservation of Mass with Socks
Ed, a physicist at Johns Hopkins University Applied Physics Laboratory, says he's found the next ground breaking theory in physics. He claims he has found evidence disproving the law of conservation of mass with socks. The law of conservation of mass...
Read full storyThe Blacklist Spoiler
Hollywood CA - Wednesday - This reporter has an an exclusive scoop on The Blacklist Episode 13. Isabella Stone Season 4 - Feb 9, 2017. The F.B.I. CLOWNS try to find a sophisticated criminal who has been targeting Red's businesses, because in the l...
Read full storyMnuchin™ to compensate middle class for higher taxes with free Greenback Bathmats for the Rich
After the laborious task of raping the middle class Mnuchin™ and Marie took time out to inspect the new greenback Bathmat. Marie had complained that she was weary of all the arduous work in Washington and took a military executive jet to the...
Read full storyMore Great Stuff from the Progressive Shoppers' Mart - The Premier E-tailing Site for Enlightened Ideologues
It's long overdue, but it's here now on your screen! More exclusive stuff from your favorite website for lefti-progressive memorabilia and prized totems of coastal-elitist craving. You'll want to add all these choice gems to your elegant display ca...
Read full storyTrump to moon the Moon
Trump Wall, AZ - During a ground-breaking ceremony speech today, Trump outlined his goals for NASA. Local reporters are scratching their heads trying to see what the details of the Trump space program have to do with the wall or anything for that mat...
Read full storyNorth Korean DIC-tator Kim Jong-Un Starting to Affect Gravity
Science Town, USA Scientists announced today that something in North Korea is beginning to affect Earth's gravity. "We are sure the object causing the irregularity is North Korea's dictator Kim Jong-Un. He has continued to expand as he gains weig...
Read full storyEarth to Become One Giant Candyland
If certain climatologists are to be believed the earth may one day become one giant Candy Land. The study based on actual climate models dispenses with the myth that oceans will rise and croplands become deserts, focusing instead on what happens to o...
Read full storyTrump's Albino Raccoon Hairpiece Was Source Of Leaked Secrets
BILLINGSGATE POST: The sun rose earlier than expected at the White House. Even the prickly pears were more prickly. The frantic search for the source of leaks emanating from the White House had put everyone on edge. Long-time Secret Service agent S...
Read full storyGod Turns to Atheism After Reading Trump's Tweets
The rumor spreading around heaven is that the God almighty is questioning the existence of himself and the reality of everything around him. Several angels have confirmed seeing him wander between clouds, looking lost and confused. We asked th...
Read full storyScientist Says "Sticky" Dark Matter Influenced Presidential Election
We can't see it or measure it directly, but scientists say they can detect the decay of dark matter around the universe and on earth, especially in Washington DC. It's a new type of dark matter though that has been discovered around Washington DC,...
Read full storyKim Jong-Un believes he is reincarnated Bond enemy, Blofeld!
North Korean dictator, Kim Jong-Un, is a very disturbed character as the world knows, and now he has taken on an even more sinister role;Ernst Stavro Blofeld! Jaggedone's super North Korean CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) spy, WAN-KIN-DIK (He's...
Read full storyUnnamed president slams unnamed news agencies for using unnamed sources
UNNAMED LOCATION - An unnamed president furthered his or her unnamed fight against unnamed news organizations at an unnamed conference on a recent unnamed day. The unnamed president criticized use of unnamed sources for news and declared that whenev...
Read full storyTrump Gives Overseas Speech Blaming World's Problems on Evil Science and Crooked Hillary
Moscow, Russia President Trump has taken a detour from his Asian trip to visit, as he says, a "friend" of his that lives in Moscow. President Trump would not name the person he was visiting, just telling the press that it was "no big deal." While...
Read full storyBeefy gravy wrestling contestants in UK get roasted!
This can only happen in the UK, a "Gravy Wrestling Contest" held annually in Burnley Lancashire! No other nation would even contemplate wrestling in fatty gravy; however mad Brits are what they are, nutters! Sadly, the participants at this years a...
Read full storyTrump Reveals Hillary Clinton Is Spawn Of Roswell Incident Alien
Relying on his own super-duper-secret intelligence sources, Donald Trump has revealed what he knows about the Roswell Incident, an event in 1947 where some claim the US military covered up the crash of an alien spaceship and the death of two alien pa...
Read full storyDonald Trump's Start-Up Company, Kentucky Klepto*Graph, to Save Struggling Kentucky Town
OLE PLAYING POSSUM, Ky. - Donald Trump is starting up a small industry in this small Kentucky town, once a coal mining center for the local area. About a decade ago, 300 high-paying coal mining jobs were lost here and the small village has seen bette...
Read full storyNCAA Protests LaVar Ball's Proposed Basketball League
The NCAA today lodge a formal protest against an effort by LaVar Ball to create a new professional basketball league for high school graduates who have no interest in attending college. The plan, as outlined by Ball to SPOOF, would offer outstanding...
Read full story2020 Olympics To Feature Wall Climb Competition
For the 2020 Summer Olympics in Tokyo, teams will compete to climb a replica of the soon to be built wall on the US/Mexico border. The Japanese and Hungarian teams are early favorites for the brand new sport that will have it's first competition y...
Read full storyTrump sucks egg out of chicken during interview
As if the Trump presidency hadn't already provided us with enough surreal moments, an interview on the CNCB channel last night gave us a whole new dimension to his state of mind. While answering a question about trade embargoes with China, Trump...
Read full storySales of Bullshit detectors fall
Businesses have revealed a dramatic fall in the sale of Bullshit detectors over the past decade. Professor Smidgen from the Institute of fictional studies said: 'With the prevalence of social media, an idiot for a President, and the things your gr...
Read full storyDicken's three ghosts now doing everything by email
The ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and yet to come now do all of their work by email, it has been revealed. Speaking to us, for the first time since 2008, the three ghosts have told us that due to the amount of greed, and lack of basic humanity,...
Read full storyPatriots Fighting Deportation After Renouncing US Citizenship
Several more New England Patriots have renounced their US citizenship in protest of President Trump's incendiary comments on minorities and immigrants--now they are being threatened with deportation by the president himself. Devin McCourty was th...
Read full storyGiant iceberg off Newfoundland purchased by Scottish whisky giant!
A giant iceberg visiting the southern shore highway off the coast of Newfoundland has been causing great interest and tourists are flocking to the peninsula for a snapshot of the giant. The iceberg, nicknamed, "Titanic" has also caused major inter...
Read full storyConor McGregor's Mom Walks In During Interview
Halfway through an interview with Doug Loquacious of the Loquacious and You talk show during which McGregor cussed out every one of his opponents and called them weak, McGregor's mom suddenly appeared on the scene and took offense for her son's actio...
Read full storySean Spicer to Join SNL
New York, NY - Press Secretary Sean Spicer has agreed to join the cast of Saturday Night Live. After meeting with President Trump, Melissa McCarthy has agreed to replace Spicer and become the next Press Secretary. Spicer was asked by President Tr...
Read full storyAustralian Nutter hitches ride on train windscreen wiper!
Living in Australia can be expensive and travelling too (just like England) so one nutter decided to dodge paying his fare by hitching a ride on the windscreen wiper of a passing train! Luckily, in Australia, it hardly rains, but shines, and durin...
Read full story"Shit happens" literally as California burglar leaves his DNA in the bog!
In California the clocks tick differently and so do their thieves especially after downing a hot, spicy Mexican taco or two before "pooping" off to work! A burglar who broke into a home in Thousand Oaks, LA, felt his belly rumble as he was loading...
Read full story"Higher Than Everest," but where's Mt. Hercules now?
Cal Tech, Pasadena, CA. In 1875, British sea captain and explorer John A. Lawson ascended a previously unknown peak on the island of New Guinea. Its enormous height and size prompted Lawson to name his new find Mt. Hercules, whose summit, according t...
Read full storyMLB to blindfold pitchers during intentional walks
In the wake of Major League Baseball's suggestions to shorten the length of the games by forgoing the four actual pitches thrown for an intentional walk the backlash from traditionalist fans has pressured MLB to change their stance entirely and in fa...
Read full storySex-Doll brothel called a "Bordoll" opens up in Germany!
Deutsche Fraulein's of the night are mega out as a new rage is flooding the underworld in Germany! Open-minded Germans (or perverts) are flocking to the latest trend in fetish satisfaction, plastic Chinese sex-dolls! Jaggedone previously reported...
Read full storySouth African lesbians form rugby team!
Cauliflower ears, broken noses and limbs all belong to one of the most robust sports known to man, and now to lesbians! A group of South African lesbians felt it would be quite 'butch' to have a rough, tumble and scrum and prove to the world how manl...
Read full storyAfter Trump.com™ challenge to Tillerson, MENSA design a special Moron IQ Test
After Tillersons outburst about the overall mental incompetency of the president, Trump.com™ has challenged him to an IQ competition. Early details of what MENSAs Special Moron IQ Test will look like have been leaked to this reporter exclusi...
Read full storyAll Men Will Now Be Required to Wear Body Cameras
WORLD- Following the explosive revelations about movie mogul Harvey Weinstein's years of predatory sexual behavior, the virality of assault victim hashtag #Metoo, and the growing number of other men being outed as sexual predators, the World has deci...
Read full storyNo Category For "Should Have Been A Foul"
One thing encompassing any sporting event is the non-foul call which so many claim turns the game into one teams favor over the other. These non-calls or non-fouls as they are so often referenced have been going on since the beginning of organized sp...
Read full storyFlorida Bar Owner Forced Into Lawsuit For Denying Access to a Trans-Aged Person
Larry Horowitz, a bar owner in the vacation town of Destin, FL,was forced into a lawsuit over the denial of a Trans-Aged child into a bar at a resort earlier last week. The Lawsuit Lasted just three short days and ended in a settlement of $12,000 for...
Read full storyNashville Man Experiences What He's Pretty Sure Is a Feeling
Late yesterday afternoon, East Nashville resident Gregg Pardon experienced a markedly unpleasant tingling sensation deep in his gut, which he tentatively believes to have been a feeling. "I can't verify one hundred percent," stated Pardon, "but ba...
Read full storyTrump's New Tax Plan Will Give New Hope to Indigent Millionaires
Mar-A-Lago, FL Trump announced, in between Hole 14 and Hole 15 of his private golf course, that his new tax plan is going to help some of the Forgotten Americans, like millionaires and billionaires that are right on the edge. "Most of all, the new...
Read full storyDonald Trump and Kim Jong-Un Trade Places
[Associated Press, October 17, 2017] In an event so secret that even the President's closest advisors were kept in the dark about it, Donald Trump swapped places with Kim Jong-un, the leader of North Korea. For seven days, the President basked in...
Read full storyTrump Questions Dog Show Winner's Beagle Pedigree, Mockingly Calls Her "Snoopy"
Washington - The love affair between Miss P the Beagle, who won Best in Show at the Westminster Dog Show in 2015, and President Donald Trump, has come to an abrupt end. During the fifth visit between the canine hero and Trump, taking place at the...
Read full storyWalmartians have taken over the world
Back in the old days, people used to collect themselves at the cave in the middle of the woods, look up at the stars and the constellations and make up stories about the various diagrams they saw in the sky. You know, Orion, The Big Dipper, The Littl...
Read full storyAmerica's 'Statue Removal' Craze Triggers The Downfall Of An Icon
For over 50 years Ronald McDonald has been a symbol of family and fun spreading happiness to children of all ages around the world. But earlier today, thousands of Ronald McDonald statues across the globe were either taken down or covered with bla...
Read full storyAussie thief gets nicked getting pissed on duty!
Aussies, renowned for their drinking habits and boozing all other competitors under the table, especially Brits, have now been found out not to be quite such Spartanic boozers! A well known boozing burglar in Esperance, West Australia, broke into...
Read full storyScience Has No Place in Our Schools Tweets Trump
Mar-A-Lago, FL Trump, in another obvious effort to take the American public's minds off the Russian investigation, lashed out at Science today, saying that it is taught too much in schools. When asked to elaborate, Trump tweeted: "Everybody knows...
Read full storyLuAnne Bawl, 6, Rescinds Commitment to Play Basketball for UCLA
Chico Mills, CA. LuAnne, the youngest member of the infamous Bawl basketball family, has rescinded her letter of commitment to enter UCLA in 2028 and play on the Bruins' women's basketball team. Her father, LaBore Bawl, announced the rescission ear...
Read full storyBarry Scott in overdose and insanitary home shambles
Barry Scott has spent a 2nd month in a medically induced coma after becoming seriously ill from drinking a potentially lethal amount of miracle household cleaner Cillit Bang. We've learned that Scott initially took to drinking the product after be...
Read full storyMan Discovers Secret to Retail Revival
Who knew it could be so easy? One man has a unique solution to stop the onslaught of retail stores from shuttering their windows and locking their doors. He is formulating a follow-up plan to prevent tumbleweeds from rolling across barren mall pa...
Read full storyYouth Sumo in America
Sumo is a sport from Japan that spectators love to watch and also kids. A few weeks ago there was a youth Sumo league in L.A. that started from a man named Kim Jong Un. The kids are loving it and they love fighting with their foes and hopefully, t...
Read full storyIndian rubber man finds 12ft croc sleeping under his rubber tree!
The sight of a 12ft croc caused quite a shock to an Indian Rubber man when he woke up to unwind after sleeping with his legs tucked behind his neck. The giant croc had slipped in to the man's back garden in Orissa, India, and was sleeping under a...
Read full storyMoon Severely Damaged by Total Solar Eclipse
Mt. Palomar Observatory. Astronomers today confirmed what amateur moon gazers have been saying since late August: the moon is noticeably paler than it was before the total solar eclipse of Aug. 21. Offering an explanation devoid of scientific jargon...
Read full story400 Lb. Man In Parents Basement Confesses To Hacking DNC
Surprising everyone but Donald Trump, a man in Lakewood, Colorado, has admitted that he is the one who hacked into the DNC during the 2016 presidential campaign. Showing just how prescient Donald Trump's prediction was of who the hacker might be,...
Read full storyDid You Hear the One about Two Nuns Who Tried to Rob a Bank?
It's true, it's true. This is no joke. It happened in Pennsylvania recently. Two women in nun's garb held up bank tellers and demanded cash. The would-be robbers became scaredy cats and ran away empty handed when a teller set off an alarm. The...
Read full storyLeah Remini Abruptly Reverses Her Condemnation of Scientology
"King of Queens" star Leah Remini has fully recanted all the negative statements she recently made on A&E's "Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath", a program that criticized the religion for being devious, highly secretive and violent towar...
Read full storyIndian restaurant in London closed down after serving fake human meat!
It seems a London, Indian restaurant has been caught up in the latest craze hitting the global media world like a tsunami, it's called FAKE NEWS (something we never write here on The Spoof). The restaurant, for a bit of fun, put the following deli...
Read full storySome Teachers Actually Go into Teaching for the Money
Apparently, it's the result of low expectations and outright confusion. "I used to work in Walmart," said one untenured teacher, two years into the profession. "I get at least twice the pay, but I also don't get the 5% discount, so it's a wash. I...
Read full storySchmidt & Weissen to produce bidirectional pistol
Schmidt & Weissen, a major gun manufacturer in the US, is developing a bidirectional pistol. Paul Gant of Schmidt & Weissen says, "This is the only gun I'd recommend to scumbags and known gang members." The police have mixed feelings about...
Read full storyThe Last Jedi Spoiler, Rey's Identity Leaked!
A long time ago, in a galaxy far away. The back story starts on the planet, Tattooine, when 13 year old Luke Skywalker snuck out of his Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru's dwelling, in which he lived. He met up with his friend Biggs, to plan a night downt...
Read full storyDonald Trump admits he really is too old for this shit
The inventor of the word fake, the man with the plan and the very small hands, the Donald, the Don with the Most (except for Donny Most, from Happy Days) President of the New World Order Donald Trump has admitted that he really is too old for this sh...
Read full storyAimless Drifter Patents Lifestyle, Now a Multi-Millionaire
Portland. A self-described aimless drifter has turned his lifestyle into a lucrative career. No kidding. This is not a rags to riches story by virtue of hard work or perseverance or anything like that. It is a story that baffles the mind and l...
Read full storyGiant US toy retailer buys up Chinese sex toy stock to avoid bankruptcy!
It seems the retail toy world is in turmoil after a giant toy retailer announced it was bankrupt in the US and Canada and cannot compete with internet rivals that swim up the Amazon and Target other Wally Martyrs! So, after hearing that China has...
Read full storyMnuchin™ to Foreclose on Puetro Rico
Given the debt Puerto Rico has to Wall St and now they are unable to make their designated payments due to the 2 recent Hurricanes the most compassionate and all wise Treasury Secretary has decided to Foreclose on the entire region. Apparently Her...
Read full storySarah Palin's Face To Be Carved Into Mount Rushmore
America was stunned yesterday when the Tea Party members in Congress passed a bill that would make Sarah Palin's likeness the next to be carved into Mount Rushmore, allowing the former Vice-Presidential candidate to be forever immortalized on the Sou...
Read full storyEdible Bitcoin Sells Out
Bitcoin is now edible and selling like hot cakes. Bitcoin is an Internet currency sensation worth $1000 per Bitcoin. It can now be converted into little bits of gold plated chocolate coins. "Each Bitcoin is worth ten chocolate bits, which are...
Read full storyNutter rocket Scientist launches rocket to prove the world is flat!
Somewhere in a California desert (not Area 51!): A nutty proffesor, who drives luxury limo's to finance his "rocket science" projects, is about to launch himself in a rocket to prove to the world that the planet is FLAT! Off his rocks Rocketman, (...
Read full storyTwitter tries to thin tempers through text tones
As well as doubling the number of characters that can be used in a tweet, Twitter has decided to change some of its colour as well. Mr Amstrad from Twitter said: "We have had a number of complaints from a few overly-sensitive types. You know, they...
Read full storyFrozen elephant crap divulges elephant stress levels!
Scientists in India are rapidly discovering why elephants can become stressed by analysing their crap, it seems! Now if one has ever chased elephants on a safari, observed the poor creatures chained to their master's logs, being hunted by poachers...
Read full storyTight Race for "The Madman of the Year".
Who is this year's winner of the famous "The Madman of The Year" competition? The organisation called "Politically Incorrect Psychiatrist" (PIP), is a group of experts from around the world, who recognise and award distinguished individuals in the...
Read full storyTrump Signs Another Executive Order Against Midgets
Is the pen mightier than the sword? Donald J. Trump, newly crowned POTUS, must believe so since he has been using his on a regular basis. Since banning everything from universal health care to mortgage loan assistance to the poor, from retirement a...
Read full storyKanye West Makes Muskrat Love
Hidden Hills, CA - Somebody please call Taylor Swift because Kanye West is at it again. Kanye is begging Taylor Swift to make "Muskrat Love" with him. "Muskrat Love" is the 1976 hit song by the Captain & Tennille. Nobody is waiting for the...
Read full storyTrump and Macron Announce Wife Swap
Paris, France - French President Emmanuel Macron and US President Donald Trump have announced a wife swap. Both spouses are considered more age appropriate for the other president. President Trump and Macron's wife Brigitte are senior citizens. Pre...
Read full storyFDA Sounds Health Alarm: Nearly 25 Percent of Americans Are Pathologically Fit and Trim
Late last night, the Food and Drug Administration issued a public health advisory, warning that nearly 25 percent of Americans are pathologically fit and trim - victims of the newly-coined disorder known as "hyper-healthism." "We're at a turning p...
Read full story