Written by Jaggedone

Wednesday, 9 August 2017

image for "Shit happens" literally as California burglar leaves his DNA in the bog!
Burglars beware! Never leave your crap in your victim's bog! Flush it!

In California the clocks tick differently and so do their thieves especially after downing a hot, spicy Mexican taco or two before "pooping" off to work!

A burglar who broke into a home in Thousand Oaks, LA, felt his belly rumble as he was loading in the booty in a sack! The pressure on his bowels became too much, so he darted for the bog and relieved himself. Luckily there was no one home and, after leaving his faeces clinging, he dashed for the back door and done a runner with the goodies!

After returning from a high-class dinner in a high-class restaurant, the owner of the house felt it also necessary to relieve himself especially after consuming a hot Indian, spicy curry which, works wonders for the bowels! He also rushed to the bog, but whilst hastily dropping his pants, he noticed some bugger (or burglar) had been there before him and left quite a putrid mess!

His wife screamed, "darling we've been burgled!"

He screamed back, "don't I know it and I'm shitting my pants! Damn Indians!"

The wife promptly called the local police who took a sample of the faeces clinging to the bog and, low and behold, the DNA in the crap matched that of a well known burglar who had crapped in his pants many times whilst residing in the "Slammer!"

So the moral to all wannabe burglars of this true story is: Before you go out to work never eat Mexican, Indian or any combustive food and, if you do, don't forget to flush the strange bog you are crapping on!!

In Thousand Oaks, LA, the shit really hit the fan!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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