400 Lb. Man In Parents Basement Confesses To Hacking DNC

Funny story written by XRhonda Speaks

Sunday, 1 January 2017

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The FBI says Mike Ambrosio confessed to hacking the DNC and individual democrats in the recent presidential election.

Surprising everyone but Donald Trump, a man in Lakewood, Colorado, has admitted that he is the one who hacked into the DNC during the 2016 presidential campaign.

Showing just how prescient Donald Trump's prediction was of who the hacker might be, the man, Mike Ambrosio, is 400 pounds and has been living in his parents basement for the last two years.

Conspiracy theorists are already saying that Trump or the Russians paid off Ambrosio to confess and take the heat off of Vladimir Putin.

Ambrosio's friends and family say he is a serious gamer but just isn't the type to have pulled off the hacking attributed to him.

One friend who wanted to remain anonymous told a Spoof investigator that when he saw Ambrosio before the election he was of normal weight.

"Something just doesn't seem right, I don't even think you can gain two hundred pounds in eight weeks."

FBI investigators are confirming, however, that Ambrosio, AKA "Huggy Bear", was in possession of a computer that has been identified as one used to breach The DNC's mail servers.

Ambrosio's attorney, Chabot Sanders, was swarmed by reporters after landing at Denver International Airport, where he spoke briefly before disappearing into a limo.

"The first thing we'll be doing is challenging the so called confession, which was made under duress while my client was deprived of legal representation."

The Trump team wasted no time in saying that this news in no way puts the legitimacy of his historic landslide win in question.

In an ironic twist, Ambrosio is one of hundreds of victims suing Donald Trump in a class action suit over one of Trump's schemes, The Trump Church of Monetary Unification.

When Ambrosio went broke after investing all of his money in Trump's now failed currency the TrumpMark, he ended up depressed and living with his parents.

Ambrosio was in the news last summer when he tried to commit suicide by cop at a Brixton pub.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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