Written by Jaggedone

Thursday, 17 August 2017


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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image for Frozen elephant crap divulges elephant stress levels!
No stressed elephants crap here, but her crap is much bigger!

Scientists in India are rapidly discovering why elephants can become stressed by analysing their crap, it seems!

Now if one has ever chased elephants on a safari, observed the poor creatures chained to their master's logs, being hunted by poachers, or doing tricks in the zoo or circus, it would seem obvious to any level-headed person why elephants sometimes can be stressed out!

However, elephants without chains or living in their natural habitats can also be stressed as Indian scientists are finding out by freezing their once steamy crap! The job of gathering elephant crap can be very stressful indeed unless those gathering the crap have a huge digger and not a wheelbarrow to gather the stuff. In addition, dung beetles, who love elephants crap are stressed out too after observing loony scientists removing their dinner!

Another reason why scientists should really be doing something else with their stressed out brains is obvious too. A stressed elephant is a thing that should be avoided and not approached, especially if they have baby elephants in their herd, and having stupid humans gathering their crap is not going to ease their stress levels either!

The world cannot wait until the reasons, discovered in elephants crap, are released to tell us all why one of our our favourite animals can be stressed out sometimes. Maybe scientists should start gathering our crap and find out why the whole fucking world is stressed out and leave the elephants to do what they do best, live in peace!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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