Written by pinxit

Friday, 10 September 2010

image for 'Quiz-Rage' drinker lashes out at Stephen Fry
O'Bohan: barred...

A teacher banned for life from his local after a sedate Pub Quiz evening ended in violence, says it is 'bloody Stephen Fry's fault.'

Ardent quizzer Eamon O'Bohan, 52 was taking part in the weekly quiz at North Finchley's 'Elephant & Trumpet' public house when the trouble began.

Landlady Lucy Timms takes up the story, "It was the usual Monday night, quiz going on and regulars in the main bar getting quietly pissed. All of a sudden I heard an almighty thud, raised voices and glasses smashing. I ran round to the snug and there was Eamon pouring his drink over the quizmaster and going berserk! 'Eamon! keep your hair on' I told him. Which wasn't much use as he's going full-on slaphead. So I chucked him out and barred him."

"I blame Stephen Fry and that 'QI' TV programme," says a still irate Mr. O'Bohan "they've completely subverted the whole quiz world by making everyone confused what the simplest answers really are. I even begin to doubt my own name! "

"For example," he continues "on 'QI' Fry will ask a question like 'What's the capital of the UK?'. Someone, usually Jonathan Creek, answers 'London', their answer comes flashing up behind, alarm bells ring, they get whacked with penalty points only to be told by that patronising pillock Fry that the correct answer is Bletchley!!!"

"In the end I just snapped." O'Bohan's frustration is evident "John Elgar, the quizmaster, would not accept that his answers were wrong and mine, gleaned from 'QI', were correct. My team mates were getting pissed off that I kept changing their answers and gave me more earache than Year 9 in English Litt." As for his ban, Mr. O'Bohan sighs "I suppose I'll have to spend Monday nights at home with my wife and teenage kids now. Quizzing was my only pleasure in life and Fry has taken it from me. The bent-nosed bastard."

A mildly amused Stephen Fry commented last night " Well, if my modest little programme has upset this pathetic excuse for a human being, Mr. O'Bohan, it is regrettable. I simply wish to point out that his name should actually be spelled 'O'Boghghaan', which translated from the Gaelic means 'out of the bog whence he came'. I suggest he goes back there."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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