London - (Diabolical Mess): Is the Pope hiding behind a privacy super-injunction to gag genetic results about his real Pa?
Scientists at the National Poisons Unit reckon the Vatican 'has moved heaven and earth' to destroy DNA specimens proving necromancer Aleister Crowley fathered the Pope.
Next week's UK papal visit may coincide with the publication of Zaprudderesque footage showing his conception at Crowley's Abbey of Thelema satanic temple.
Ratzinger has always denied being satan's spawn.
However, widespread disgust at his September 16 visit to Great Britain has seen national blood pressures rocket at the paedo-whitewashing pontiff's cheek.
Meanwhile a legal campaign to have Papa Ratzi arrested gained a huge filip today with the Met's publication of the God's Wanker dossier on the death of hapless mafia stooge Roberto Calvi.
The banker died under Blackfriars Bridge just a few days after Pope JP 2 Lodge Karol Wojtyla's 1982 visit to London.
Some reckon a classic 'deferred gratification' poker move by the Met's Serious & Disorganised Crime Agency may now suddenly spring a surprise.
The Archbishop of Canterbury is 69.