Terror in the UK last night as Skoob Entertainment News showbiz supremo Buffty Ginslinger was spending a quiet night in when he happened upon a live feed of Neve Campbell, the famous Hollywood acting person, being stalked and menaced by a man wearing a mask out of the Munch painting 'The Scream'.
"Terrible business," Ginslinger said as he sparked up his crack pipe. "Poor girl's been stalked by this masked mad homicidal bugger for years. You'd think the police would have caught up with him by now. It shouldn't be too unreasonable to expect them to pull their bloody fingers out. She is, after all, when all's said and done, quite a pretty girl."
West Hollywood Police Department have attracted widespread criticism for so far failing to apprehend Norman 'The Shower Killer' Bates, Freddy 'The Kiddie Fiddler' Krueger, Jason 'The Hockey Mask Friday The 13th Maniac' Voorhees, Michael 'The William Shatner Mask Haddonfield Slasher Who Really Pissed Donald Pleasance Off' Myers and Hannibal 'The Cannibal' Lecter.
We called them to complain, but they said that they were very busy and hung up.
More as we get it.
