Al 'Crazed Sex Poodle' Gore: did he shag Tony Blair?
Washington AC/DC - (Reuterus & Shaggy Dog Story): It's enough to give a dog a bad name. Former Vice President Al Gore has taken up the Poodle moniker after a masseuse branded him 'the dog's bollox' (sic). The last time a politico had that cani...
Read full storyProvincetown, Massachusetts School District To Provide Free Condoms To Six Year Olds
The School District in Provincetown, Mass. has decided to be proactive in preventing unwanted teenage (and pre-teen) pregnancy and the spread of unwanted sexually transmitted diseases. To combat these growing problems among first and second graders,...
Read full storySusan Boyle to meet with Mark Lowton of The Spoof
Susan Boyle has asked her P.A. to arrange a meeting with The Spoof's Mark Lowton. Susan admits that she has really been enjoying all the funny articles written 'tongue in cheek' and published by Spoof Writers. She would like to shake him by the han...
Read full storyIran Agrees To Nuke Israel If Obama Removes Sanctions
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced today that she had reached an agreement with Mahmoud Ahmadinejab that would ease world tensions in the Middle East. Arriving back from her trip to Tehran, she announced the break-through in dipomacy that...
Read full storyApple's new iVuvuzela goes on sale
There was pandemonium today as thousands of geeks queued up outside Apple's flagship store in Regent's Street desperate to get their hands on the brand new iVuvuzela. Several geeks had their glasses broken and wet themselves in the crush as police...
Read full storyLungs 'made to order'. Order yours NOW. You snooze - you lose.
Researchers in Britain have announced that they will soon be ready to make lungs 'to order'. Patients, instead of waiting on extremely long 'donor lists' hoping and praying for someone to die, so that they may live, will no longer have to wrestle wi...
Read full storyJesus Due Back On Earth in 2050
A poll in America asked of the second coming by Jesus. In a shock result the survey discovered over 39% of all U.S. citizens believe Jesus will return and specified 2050 as the year. God fearing folk to the "only on Sunday" Christians believe Jesu...
Read full storyJackson Death Anniversary
The principal executor of the Michael Jackson estate has announced that the anniversary of the troubled singer's death is to be repeated in perpetuity. "I firmly believe" says Uri Geller, spokesman for Jackson's spirit entity, "that Michael would...
Read full storyAustralian First Female Red Headed Prime Minister
The Australian Labor Party have dumped the silver haired Kevin Rudd for red headed Julia Gillard. Some say she resembles the red headed beauty of the match box. Australia has its first female Prime Minister in it's 222 year young history. In...
Read full storyiPhone 4 recall - but only for left handers
Rumors have astounded the telecommunications world today following the understanding that all cool new iPhone 4 phones bought by left-handed customers are to be recalled. It has been alleged that when held in the left hand, the iPhone 4 gradually...
Read full storyBreakthrough discovery: Dinosaurs, prehistoric mammals shared common language
Millions of years ago, dinosaurs roared upon the Earth. That is the startling discovery of Reina McSpamster, 18 months, of Outer Suburbia, Minnesota. This author accompanied McSpamster on a recent expedition to the Science Museum of Minnesota, w...
Read full storyTipper Gore: Let Ms. Environmentalist America Have Him!
According to new reports in several tabloids the key to the Al & Tipper Gore break-up was the fact that Tipper always suspected her husband of fooling around. "I blame Bill Clinton for this", stated a friend of the family. "Tipper saw what Cli...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Sued By Grace Slick Over "Somebody To Love"
With the summer's hottest video and a major hit on his hands, everything has been going great for teen sensation Justin Bieber, but a summons for him or a representative for him to appear before a California judge has dampened his spirits a bit. B...
Read full storyIran President - 'I am not worn at evening meals!'
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has told Western news reporters that he is the target of a vicious hate mail campaign by foreign intelligence agencies intent on making him cry or worse. The Iranian premier told this reporter "As you know ou...
Read full storyLady Gaga Tells Her Parents to "Get Lost"
Some say Lady Gaga has finally reached the pinnacle of her success and is set to make a hard spiral downward if she doesn't adjust her mental attitude. Instead of welcoming the attention she obviously craves from her fans, she is turning them away...
Read full storyGermans promise to "Blitzkrieg" England with "Donner und Mein Kampf!"
The old enemies are about to clash again and the Germans in their popular tabloid newspaper, Die Bild Zeitung, have issued the following warning to England's players and fans: "Ve das Deutsche volk vill Blitzkrieg England vith our Messerschmits, U...
Read full storyLady Gaga's Bedazzling Deal With The Devil Exposed!
Incredible! Lady Gaga, the Manhattan-raised man who parlayed a modicum of talent and a fashion sense that'd make Stevie Wonder cringe into international megastardom has been revealed as yet another denizen of the Dark Overlord: He made a deal with t...
Read full storyOil Wrestling to Save Tourism in Florida
Pepsicola, Florida - In a community that depends on tourism, even the worst environmental disaster in United States history isn't enough to stop the flow. In the words of Bubba, a lifelong resident, "It's all in evaluating the possibilities." Sinc...
Read full storyNigerian King Asks Local Man To Help Moving Millions to US; Percentage Of Money to go to Local!
A local man stands to do a mitzvah for a Nigerian brother, and stands to earn a King's ransom at the same time, when he was contacted by Nigerian royalty to help him move millions of dollars into the local economy, while committing a tiny little bit...
Read full storyDanielle Staub: Looking Like a Tranny Hooker Makes Me A Member of the Gay Community
Real Housewives skank Danielle Staub has made a shocking announcement, and it is not the "I think penis is delicious" announcement she made just two days ago: Staub claims to be a full-fledged member of the Gay community. Staub, who is currently m...
Read full storyJesse James The Size Of A Vuvuzela: Sandra Bullock
Why, after all the cheating and all the fights, is Sandra Bullock still not filing papers for her divorce from cheating husband, Jesse James? Has he promised to quit messing around? Or is he actually a good guy gone bad? Exactly WHAT does Sand...
Read full storyJosie and the Pussycats to Headline Lollapalooza 2011
Lollapalooza, 1991's cash grab. . . er, farewell concert by Jane's Addiction singer Perry Farrell which has become a bastardization of its own ideal, has found a way to keep this commercial lynching / kewlfest fresh and new: Hiring Josie and the Puss...
Read full storyRare Photo's Of Che Guevara Discovered
Rare photographs of Che Guevara - the revolutionary figure who is a popular t-shirt image on posh student's clothing - have been discovered beneath the shite contained in a filthy old fella's shed. Jim Pipewhistle, 94, stored all kinds of crap in...
Read full storyNew Google Policy: Every Search Engine Response Will Contain The Phrase "New Acai Berry Diet" or "Earn $1500 a Month From Home."
Google, Inc., the Orwellian megacorporation that earns a trillion dollars an hour by displaying ads for penis cream and low cost mortgages, has taken another step to ensure their coffers remain full while degrading their service. Google ads are ub...
Read full storyPhoenix Suns Star Steve Nash Has Been Deported
(June, 24, 2010 - Phoenix, AZ)... The new Arizona immigration law is causing more controversy today as it was announced earlier today by the Illegal Immigration Prevention & Apprehension Co-op Team (IIMPACT) that Phoenix Suns star and 2-time NBA...
Read full storyPaul McCartney To Headline Woodstock 55+, An Active Living Concert!
This summer, Rock and Roll fans will again be defecating on the grass at Max Yasgur's dairy farm in Bethel New York, but this time it'll be in adult diapers!! Promoters announced that blood will once again be squeezed from the precious stone that...
Read full storySecret Travel Spots: Winter in Abu Dhabi
Part three in a series of unique and little known attractions hidden within the world's most popular destinations. Colder than the chilled nose of a Westward facing Camel in January, United Arab Emirates residents are uncomfortable with the weather patterns of winter, but the small city of Abu Dhabi is a gem of a destination for Northern Hemisphere travelers during December and January. Norm...
Read full storyAl Gore Described as 'sex crazed Poodle' by Masseur; Tipper Calls on Dog Whisperer for Help!
In a still unraveling case in Oregon, police reports reveal a strange case of alleged crotch sniffing by former VP Al Gore described by the plaintiff as nothing more than ' a hound dog with a pedigree....a sex crazed poodle!" The plaintiff, her na...
Read full storyHayward to McChrystal: "Jolly Good Show Old Chap"
Onlookers report that no one knew who the mystery guest was when the helicopter arrived at Tony Hayward's yacht off the coast of the Isle of Wight. Many looked on in disbelief as General Stanley McChrystal dressed in battle fatigues stepped off the c...
Read full storyActor Bill Murray Enlisted to Fight Asian Carp
Discovered six miles beyond an electronic barrier set up in Lake Michigan, the first Asian Carp has set off alarm bells at the Army Corps of Engineers. The Asian Carp is well known as a destructive species capable of annihilating an entire ec...
Read full storySouth African Authorities At Johannesburg's Tarzan and Jane National Airport Confiscate Two Million Counterfeit Vuvuzelas
JOHANNESBURG, South Africa - South African authorities at The Tarzan and Jane National Airport in Johannesburg confiscated two million counterfeit vuvuzelas that they report were heading for Great Britain. The vuvuzelas were painted in the colors...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Requests SCRAM Bracelet Be Removed For Nude Shots!
A California judge is now being asked by attorneys for Lindsay Lohan, if she has to wear her SCRAM bracelet during nude photos. However, the judge who has seen Lindsay three times already that has led to the judge demanding that Lohan wear the alc...
Read full storyFawlty Steps into World Cup Drama
After an Emergency meeting of the famous Python Committee, named after the war hero Sir Monty Python, a distress call has been answered by Britain's premier retired diplomat Sir Basil Fawlty. From his Tower in Torquay, Sir Basil gave us an exclusi...
Read full storyPanto - A Recipe for Innuendo
Serves between 500-600 people For a fun-filled festive extravaganza, follow these simple steps:- 1. First, find yourself a medium-sized melting pot, or "theatre", in which to mix the ingredients. Nothing too chic or metropolitan is required. Why not try the Palace Theatre in Mansfield or Basildon's very own Towngate? 2. Next, make sure it's available for 6 weeks over the Christmas and...
Read full storyBacked by EU, Lib/Dem Coalition Backs 'bait & switch' Tri-Sexual Unions to Stiffen Resolve & Save Country!
In a striking assault on 'family values', the Con/Lib government has given the green light to promoting the abandonment of heterosexual unions to one more enlightened featuring unions 'that could go either way,' according to a MP in Yeoville well ac...
Read full storyLabour admit - "Hosing money was fun!"
£5,000 a second is a lot to borrow. New Labour did exactly this - but admitted that it was a 'swell ride' while it lasted. Diane Abbott conceded - "We went to Hackney Fire Station and they played with their hoses as all my men do, but it was nothi...
Read full storyCurse of the Bent Tiara as Murray bids for grand slam glory
London - (Balls Up Mess): An entirely gratuitous visit by HM the hoaxer monarch to Wimbledon today is hexing Andy Murray's chances. The posturing grand slam wannabe's Centre Court bid against Finland's Jarkko Nieminen now looks doomed. Critics...
Read full storyInchcock Interviews Time Traveller!
Bespectacled, aged, bald, hearing-aids wearing, short, plump, reporter Inchcock Chambers, has discovered that time-travel is happening! He has interviewed a traveller from the future, one Zip Alonso, who he claims came from the year 2218. Inchcock: Why did you travel back Zip? Zip: Life was finishing on earth, and it was either £819bn for a ticket to the moon, or £102m for a one way trip...
Read full storyWomen need sex
Scientists have discovered that women actually need sex rather than 'want intimacy'. The breakthrough was made by NASA scientists, who rejoiced in the possibilities this could bring. "I feel like I haven't done my duty - I'm going to a night cl...
Read full storyChavez Nationalizes Fruits & Vegetables: Sean Penn Named Kumquat Czar!
Hugo Chavez made a move on controlling the last 20% of the Nation's private industry today by nationalizing all food sources, including imported fruits and vegetables. To insure his mandate was carried out, he imported Hollywood Fruit Sean Penn to ov...
Read full storyDisabled pigeons saved in Budget
Along with the international aid, Pigeon recuperation has been a surprise winner in the emergency election budget. George Osbourne stated - "I want to build a mini Chelsea Hospital for these wonderful birds. I shedded a tear when I saw one limping...
Read full storyScientists 'pin down' screaming hangover formula
After centuries of pondering on the appauling effects of drinking to excess, scientists have finally been able to calibrate hangovers into 5 levels - similar to Fujita scale for grading tornados. The key to understanding the scale is to evaluate t...
Read full storyJob Centre Disruption earlier Today!
Chaos erupted earlier today at the Nottingham Job Centre, reports our correspondent Inchcock Chambers. A 62 year old claimant, made redundant through no fault of his own last February, was spotted on the CCTV smiling while waiting for his interrogati...
Read full storyGary Coleman was Mr T's secret love-child
Following the sad departure of televisions diminutive funny man, Gary Coleman, earlier this year, it has since been revealed that his real father and mother were also in the celebrity spotlight. Due to the high profile nature of his parents, it wa...
Read full storySecurity Officers Response's
We sent our reporter Inchcock Chambers out in his Skoda Estelle, to interview some Security Guards on the front line, in an effort to formulate a report for the head of the SIA (Security Industry Authority) in the UK, Baron Ruth (I get over £¼m a year salary) Henig. This to give her the opinion of those she is not interested in, the bottom of the pile security officers themselves, on her destructi...
Read full storyJust Left #5 - Slow Joe Barton
Most of the time, the really obvious and quasi-tragic items we keep on our "don't-bring-this-up-at-Christmas-dinner" lists are discussed only with our live-ins, while we're shaving and getting a little tuned-up on wine before said Christmas dinners. Like Aunt Meg's thick, dark whiskers, f'rinstance. Most of the time, nobody crosses that line. But eventually, though, these things do come...
Read full storyJust Left #6 - Paddling McChrystal
When I was 17, I got a job in a restaurant, swabbing out urinals (the perfect task for a 17-year-old) and cooking steaks (though that's not something any 17-year-old should be doing). And I'll never forget the first time I ever talked back to the boss. It must've been 130 degrees in the kitchen. I was lugging a case of lettuce out of the cooler in that workweek's hour #62, and my glasses fog...
Read full storyMariah Carey Barking Over Dog Bills
Could it be a phobia? No, says a vet clinic who claims the singer owes 30 thousand dollars in back bill after pampering her dog's. I hear that her dog's needed to go to rehab, she said yes, yes, yes! Though Carey doesn't want to pay the bills w...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus's Under Age Vagina Flash, A Total Hoax?
Informants inside the Miley Cyrus camp have come forward to expose a hoax perpetrated on the American and world wide fans of the popular singer/actress Miley Cyrus. It appears the entertainer has had an on going grudge against celebrity blogger Pe...
Read full storyObama's Long-Form Birth Certificate Raises Troubling Questions
AMSTERDAM, HOLLAND - "Birthers" have long contested Hawaii as Obama's place of birth because of "Left-leaning" efforts to hide nearly every document related to his past. The short-form, or "live birth," document repeatedly cited by administration off...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, and Taylor Swift Record The Song "Say Dude Can I Toot Your Vuvuzela?"
SAN FRANCISCO - Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, and Taylor Swift had just finished performing a benefit concert at the famed Cow Patty Palace when they were asked about the song project they have been working on. The trio was performing a concert to be...
Read full storySpencer Pratt Is Dating Nadya Suleman aka "OctoMom"
LOS ANGELES - Spencer Pratt, soon-to-be-ex-husband of Heidi "The Plastic Woman" Montag was having lunch at a Long John Silvers when he was asked if the rumors about him dating Nadya Suleman were true. He put down the oyster he was eating and said...
Read full storyPhrases into 1950's Nottingham Slang Definition
Our intrepid Reporter, Skoda Estelle driving Inchcock Chambers recalls his memories of the unique speech patterns, inflections, and choice of words used by his fellow Nottinghamians: Go away - Geroff What would you like? - Wodayowant? In trouble with the teacher - Yer inferitnar A friend - Mate, chum or mucker Would you like to engage with me in fisticuffs? - Purumup! Do yo...
Read full storyDavid Hasselhoff Shows Up At A Taping of America's Got Talent - Says He Forgot He Got Fired
HOLLYWOOD - David "Hic" Hasselhoff says that he had not been drinking when he accidentally showed up at the television studio where America's Got Talent is filmed. David was asked by a security guard for AGT if he was sure that he had not been dri...
Read full storyJustin Bieber, Brenda Song, and Demi Lovato To Star In "The Teenage Hotties Vs. The Vuvuzela Vampires"
HOLLYWOOD - Noted Italian Producer Benigo Luigi Montemarciano has just stated that he will soon begin production on his latest motion picture entitled, The Teenage Hotties Vs. The Vuvuzela Vampires. The film will star Justin Bieber, Brenda Song, a...
Read full storyRosie O'Donnell Finally Reveals The Real Reason Her Wife Kelli Carpenter Divorced Her
NATCHEZ, Mississippi - Rosie O'Donnell was in town appearing as a guest on local television cooking show Cookin Up A Storm With Stormy. The show's host Stormy Nittlefurst, who is considered one of the best cooks south of the Mason-Dixon Line, show...
Read full storyWimbledon Ladies Prostitute Scandal
Police in London SW19 have said that they arrested a woman on a charge of prostitution late on Wednesday night very near to the All England Tennis Club at Wimbledon. She is a prominent name in Ladies tennis. So far, no more details of the arres...
Read full storyPrice of Kindles is Cut, iPads React
When Amazon recently announced that it was reducing the price of its electronic reader, the Kindle, to only $189, some cheered and some jeered. Kindles were upset. It was a kick in the teeth to their self-esteem. Apple's iPads, which can also...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Adds A Vuvuzela Player To Her Band
NASHVILLE - Taylor Swift has just received the coveted Country Music's Sweet Award. This award is presented by country music's number one publication Country Twang Magazine. Last year's winner Carrie Underwood presented the "Sweety" to 19-year-old...
Read full storyAl Qaeda Leader Abu Musab al-Zarqaui Says He Can Fix The BP Gulf of Mexico Oil Leak
TEHRAN, Iran - Senior Al Qaeda Leader Abu Musab al-Zarqaui has stated that he has the knowledge, the resources, the manpower, and the equipment to stop the oil that is spilling out into the Gulf of Mexico. Al-Zarqaui said that the reason that he i...
Read full storyNadya Suleman Gives Her 14 Children More Reasons not to ever Google their mother
Nayda Suleman, the woman who dropped a litter of 8 babies sometime back, has scraped the last fibers of dignity off of her name by landing a gig for an ad agency in which she launches flying baby dolls from between her legs at some guy's face. The...
Read full storyLawrence Taylor's Penis Commits to Turning State's Evidence in Exchange for Immunity in LT's Rape Trial.
Lawrence Taylor, the New York Giants' Hall Of Fame Linebacker who famously severed Joe Theismann's leg during a Monday night game, has been indicted on rape charges stemming from some Tween girl he entered got a few weeks ago. And it was Lawrence...
Read full storyVan Der Sloot Not Letting His Propensity for Murdering Every Girl He Meets Ruin His Prison Dating.
Jor-El van der Sloot, the nutbag who is suspected of murdering women in Peru and The Bahamas --and who played bass for Hole and Smashing Pumpkins, I think-- is bragging that he is just as much the Cocksman in jail as he was on the outside. Psycho...
Read full storyJoran Van Der Sloot and Shannon Price to Marry!
Murder suspect Joran van der Sloot is not letting something like being imprisoned in Lima, Peru, slow down his action: Not only is he receiving tons of marriage proposals, but he's actually accepted one, from midget usurper Shannon Price, she of "my...
Read full storyWayne Rooney Boos England Fan
Reports are filtering through that appear to suggest that Wayne Rooney booed and jeered an England fan in an off- camera incident. The England striker's shocking response came as he walked off the pitch after being substituted in England's 1-0 win...
Read full storyIsner & Mahut Face Charges as Multitudes of Sensory Deprived Fans Collapse & Die
Wimbledon -- Tragedy struck Wimbledon today as hundreds of exhaustively bored tennis onlookers were rushed to local hospitals, including at least one man via wheelbarrow as local highways became log-jammed in emergency traffic. Although the day...
Read full storyNick Clegg and the Accusations
It has been revealed that Nick Clegg is believed to have been accused of making an unfortunate political mistake. This terrible news was revealed by a Political insider who thinks he saw Mr Clegg walking his dog in an incorrect manner on Tuesday.
Read full storyHigh Risk Text Message Delivered
Orlando, FL- Juan Esposito's bold move during this morning's rush hour paid huge dividends as he successfully sent a witty text message to his work buddy in response to his equally witty initial text. "I heard my phone beep and I instantly knew I...
Read full storyPaul McCartney To Record Vuvuzela Album
Sir Paul McCartney has said that he will record an album later this summer with a South African musical ensemble, with the central focus on the vuvuzela, that annoying trumpet thingy from the World Cup. McCartney, the former Beatle, who seemingly...
Read full storyEngland v Germany - Oz Out Of Auf Wiedersehen Pet Says "Smash The Erics!"
As Skoob News continues to plumb the depths of old comedy staples stereotyping our Germanic brothers ahead of Sunday's vital World Cup last sixteen clash with Germany in Bloemfontein, our reporter came across a motley crew of expats who worked in Dus...
Read full storyWimbledon Tennis Match Is The Most Boring Ever!
The record books were torn in half, and then torn in half again yesterday as two little-known tennis players battled it out for a place in the next round of the Wimbledon All England tennis championships. The match between American John Isner and...
Read full storyGeneral McChrystal Calls Obama a Cock Fag
As reported in Rolling Stone, General McChrystal's entourage nicknamed itself, "Team America" after the film of the same name by South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone. In the movie, "Team America," the members of the team routinely used the...
Read full storyEngland v Germany - Basil Says 'Don't Mention The War.'
Torquay hotelier Basil Flawty has some excellent advice for the the England team ahead of Sunday's last sixteen clash with Germany in Bloemfontein. Flawty reckons that if the England players can get settled early on, and not mention the war (eithe...
Read full storyVuvuzelas Recalled Due To Choking Hazard
Vuvuzelas made by a factory in China for use at the World Cup finals in South Africa have been recalled by the makers due to what has been described as 'a choking hazard'. The plastic trumpets, a metre long and in a variety of colours, have been t...
Read full storyWoods Spends Birthday At Top Of Leaderboard
It's every golfer's dream to spend his birthday at the head of a championship leaderboard, and the same can also be said for writers of spoof stories, and that's exactly what happened to TheSpoof.com's little-known and even-less-loved scribbler of sh...
Read full storyIt's Germany v England - And They Don't Like It Up 'Em!
So it's England v Germany in the last 16 of the World Cup. It had to happen sooner or later. Nothing to worry about - at least according to High Street butcher, Jack Jones, of Walmington on sea, who has a few tips for Steven Gerrard and the lads when...
Read full storyBP Deploys Socks to Soak Up Gulf Oil Spill
BP chief executive Tony Hayward announced the oil company's latest effort to clean up the Gulf oil spill - socks! "It's very simple really, socks float and soak up anything liquidy, so if we dump enough of them in the Gulf, we can soak up all the...
Read full storyObama Denies 10 year old Malia Running Robot Sub that Knocked off Oil Cap in Gulf Releasing Yet More Oil!
Since saying he was fully responsible and 'totally in charge' of the disastrous BP Oil Spill in the Gulf, and moving the command and control center to the White House Game Room, things have gotten more out of control culminating today with reports sa...
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