Onlookers report that no one knew who the mystery guest was when the helicopter arrived at Tony Hayward's yacht off the coast of the Isle of Wight. Many looked on in disbelief as General Stanley McChrystal dressed in battle fatigues stepped off the chopper. Tony Hayward ran to meet him.
Onlookers say the two men stopped short of each other and then embraced, some say a tad bit too long for the onlookers comfort. Evidently, the General said to Hayward: "I love your rosy pink cheeks!" Hayward, then replied, "I love the gaunt, crazed look in your eyes!"
BP officials say that Hayward was so pleased to get the 24/7 news cycle off his back, he decided to invite the General to his yacht for a few days. The two men had never met before, but seemed to bond because of their shared experience with the US President and the relentless pursuit of the US media. Hayward turned to McChrystal: "Come on old chap. Let's go below, you can go to the Loo, get out of that awful-looking outfit, have a pint, and we can pitch some darts. I've a board with a picture of you know who, and we can put one through his heart as much as we like!"
"Thanks old chap," replied the General. "I've brought you a present from Karzai and his brother. They said there's not a cough in a carload and to tell you that poppies grow in more places than just Flanders Fields. Not bad people for Wogs."
"How long can you stay, old chap,?" asked Hayward
"Oh, until our mutual troubles are over. That is, the war is over or the gulf oil spill is stopped, whichever comes first, old chap."
"Oh dear, old chap," replied Hayward. "I hear there are some decent flats at a cheap price in Piccadilly."
