Murder suspect Joran van der Sloot is not letting something like being imprisoned in Lima, Peru, slow down his action: Not only is he receiving tons of marriage proposals, but he's actually accepted one, from midget usurper Shannon Price, she of "my husband Gary Coleman just busted his petite l'il nugget wide open, but I can't help him because he's all bleedy and stuff" fame.
"The best part, she wants me to get her pregnant," Van der Sloot stated to a Dutch magazine whose name I am too lazy to reproduce here. "I've got my "spooge sock" all packaged up and ready to go.
Van Der Sloot continued, "I can't wait to feel Shannon in my arms, to touch her face, hold her hand, bisect her aorta with a machete, and . . . wait, let's stop at 'hold her hand'."
Van Der Sloot's attorney added, "Allegedly."
