Scientists have discovered that women actually need sex rather than 'want intimacy'.
The breakthrough was made by NASA scientists, who rejoiced in the possibilities this could bring.
"I feel like I haven't done my duty - I'm going to a night club right now - and it's only 4pm!" said one.
The study compared virgins and normal girls aged 30 and found the virgins looks older since they are angry and more dismissive. This creates unwanted wrinkles in their faces making them even more unattractive - a sort of vicious circle leading to their banishment from the human gene pool.
Dr Roy Vinelli explained - "Nobody really understands what makes women tick. Chocolate and shoes are obvious but this really gets below the belt..in a nice way" he said.
A gynaecologist added - "It is complicated down there - some even describe it as a kebab or growler - but that doesn't seem to deter anyone."
