There were 1,518 spoof news stories published in April 2009. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Susan Boyle: A slumdog from Britain
Remember Danny Boyle, the director of Slumdog Millionaire who made the movie for Oscar and won 8 award. There is another Boyle in making. In the show "Britain Got Talent", Susan trumped everyone to win the hearts and soul of every audience present th...
Read full storyNick Jonas Admits to Masturbating
Despite wearing a Christian "purity ring" at all times, Jonas Brothers lead guitarist Nick Jonas unabashedly admitted to the news media that he enjoys masturbating as much as most young men. "I've been masturbating since I was 12. I see nothing w...
Read full storyAirport X-Ray 'Strip' Scanners May be Purchased by Larry Flynt
When Michelle Obama refused to walk through the new X-ray scanner at the Heathrow Airport, on a trip to visit her cousin, the plan to install these new imaging systems in every airport in the country, ran into an unexpected hurdle. The X-ray scann...
Read full storyMeghan McCain's Juicy Tell-All Book
PHOENIX - Meghan McCain, the 24-year-old daughter of Senator John McCain and Cindy McCain reports that she received a very lucrative six-figure book deal from The Lower Grand Canyon Publishing Company. Meghan's 493 page book is entitled, Gee Opie...
Read full storyScandal in Hollywood: Britney Spears' & Sharon Stone's Famous Pussy Shots Were Photoshopped!
Hollywood,CA/ Where Loose Lips Make Front Page News - Professional Hollywood Pussy Watchers were shocked today when a disgruntled photographer disclosed that world famous Snatch Shots of two Lippy Tartlets were Photoshopped! In the now classic...
Read full storyHow to Make Your Own Penis Sheath
Can't find, or can't afford a penis sheath? Follow these simple steps to make your own. All you need are a few tools, some string and a gourd. Gather your materials and find a clean, well lit area in which to work. This can get messy and you don't want to upset the missus...yet. Finding a gourd: You can always grow your own gourds for use as penis sheaths, but why wait? Trundle on down to the...
Read full storyMiss Piggy Dies of Swine Flu
Miss Piggy, actress and star of television, stage, and screen, has become the first celebrity victim of the Swine Flu Epidemic. The 39 year old actress passed away at Hollywood Hills Hospital surrounded by family, friends, and a representative from...
Read full storyShaheen Jafargholi should be thrown off 'Britain's Got Talent' for being a professional
Shaheen Jafargholi 12 years 7 months, has been vilified by adults with nothing better to do with their lives, because he is actually a professional entertainer. It's now emerged Shaheen 67, has appeared on Casualty, Torchwood and that classic CB...
Read full storyShop to Offer Tattoos & Genital Piercings in Bid to Win Supermarket Wars!
In an effort to get to the top of the supermarket charts, Wartnose - the upmarket - super-market - have come up with a unique add-on-service. Philip McBasket, marketing director of Wartnose said, " We have been looking for an edge, a way of usurp...
Read full storySwine Flu Jokes Fly At NYC Mayor's Speech On Subject
Mayor Bloomberg's news conference on the flu Tuesday was interrupted by several sneezes and coughs - including one big coughing spell and grunting he faked. The mayor was counseling against too much handshaking, even as he downplayed the threat.
Read full storySwine Flu or Swine Flew?
DES MOINES, IA - As the cases of Swine Flu continue to multiply around the globe, a parallel outbreak of Swine Flew is plaguing farmers and rural residents throughout the U.S. Iowa hog farmer David Lyons described the startling phenomena. "I came...
Read full storyPlot Revealed of The Lost Symbol, Sequel to The Da Vinci Code
Dan Brown's newest novel, The Lost Symbol, will not be released to the public until September. It is expected to have "Harry Potter like numbers" for the initial release and publishers have ordered more than ten million copies to be printed for this...
Read full storyUnderground Culture of illegal Beta fish Fighting in Ghettoes, Slums
When a famous football player was accused of illegal dog fighting, authorities were already aware of the underlying dog fighting culture in many hoods and ghettoes. Public awareness has helped put the underground dog fighting industry under control.
Read full storyFreida Pinto's belly button in the list of world's most beautiful belly buttons
Slumdog Millionaire actress Freida Pinto's belly button is now being feted for having one of the world's most beautiful belly buttons by Vanity Fair magazine which is conducting a new poll to find world's most beautiful belly buttons. The magazine...
Read full storyJohn Wayne AKA "The Duke" to be defrosted
In a controversial move, John Wayne's family has released a statement this morning stating that former actor and darling of classic western films is to be defrosted. Wayne was accidentally frozen back in 1979 when he locked himself in a freezer ro...
Read full storyHollie Steel Admits Julie Andrews Is Her Biological Grandmother
LONDON - It seems as though "Britains Got Talent" keeps putting out amazing performers like Victoria's Secret puts out bras. The latest BGT find is little 10-year-old Hollie Steel, who hails from Accrington, Lancashire in England. Hollie who on...
Read full storyLBC Radio Presenter James O'Brien Is A Bit Of A Knob
London radio presenter, James O'Brien, got into hot water when he started slagging-off Chelsea and England footballer Frank Lampard on his programme today. O'Brien took calls on his LBC phone-in show about Lampard, and about how the player has spl...
Read full storyDamian McBride email released
Shamed Downing Street official Damian McBride suffered more embarrassment today as the actual email that he has now resigned over was released. Within the email a number of accusations are discussed which were intended to be published via a Labour...
Read full storyPenelope Cruz breaks her silence over break-up with Tom Cruise
Malaga, Spain - It's been three years since actress/model Penelope Cruz and the world's leading scientist, Tom Cruise, went their separate ways. Now, Penelope has finally decided to break her silence about the painful break-up, in exchange for $1m...
Read full storyMargaret Thatcher, Edwina Curry, and John Major In Nude XXX Video Rumour Scandal
London UK - Rumours circulating here appear to hint, without any concrete evidence, that a pornographic sex video featuring ex-PMs Major and Thatcher, along with the egg woman, Edwina Curry actually exists. The video allegedly contains images of t...
Read full storyRobyn Moore - Mel Gibson's wife explains reasons behind divorce
In a break from the traditional secrecy around the 28 year long marriage, Robyn Moore, the wife of Mel Gibson has discussed some of the reasons for her filing for divorce last week. "Mel has always been an extremely dedicated actor, but in the las...
Read full storyReports of Australia's "Biggest Boobs" In the World Causes Relocation of Spoof Writer Buck Wheat!
Sydney, Australia/ World DD Cup News - Renowned Spoof Writer Buck Wheat, and his side kick Bargis Tryhol, Man with the World's Biggest Penis, picked up lock stock and barrel and moved their literary act to Australia which just announced it is hom...
Read full storySusan Boyle sings on Oprah
Susan Boyle, who has over 34 million fans on YouTube, spoke to and sang for Oprah Winfrey last night. At the conclusion of the interview, she sang Summertime, from the Gershwin & Hammerstein production of Porgy and Bess. Oprah Winfrey appeared...
Read full storySusan Boyle To Appear Nude In PlayDude Magazine
CHICAGO - PlayDude Magazine has just announced that they have won the battle of the dozens of men's magazines that were vying for the rights to have England's singing sensation Susan Boyle appear in their magazine. Miss Boyle will appear as PlayDu...
Read full storyExtremist Muslim Near-Death Experience Man Returns With Story That Raises Doubts Over 72 Virgins
A Muslim Extremist who is recovering after a near-death experience, has astounded clerics with his extraordinary tale of what happened to him after his near-death. Would-be suicide bomber, Abdul al-Habiri, aborted his plan only moments before he w...
Read full storyBritain's Got Talent singer, Susan Boyle announces engagement to Mel Gibson
Recently hired agent for talent show favourite, Susan Boyle has announced today that the Scottish singer has accepted a proposal of marriage from Mel Gibson. Gibson, whose wife recently filed for divorce, is now rumoured to have wooed Boyle, with...
Read full storyBrenda Lee Sues Obama In Royalty Dispute
Washington,D.C.-When President Obama gets back from his world tour he'll have one more domestic problem to deal with. Singer Brenda Lee is suing the president over his repeated use of her trademark song "I'm Sorry" without paying royalties or even c...
Read full storyDid Sarah Brightman lip-synch to Susan Boyle's singing in Phantom of the Opera?
LONDON, UK: A news story just breaking in England states that Susan Boyle has lip-synched for Sarah Brightman on many an occasion. A source connected with Andrew Lloyd Wright and Sarah Brightman's publicity people has said: "It's true. Miss Brightm...
Read full storyBritain's Got Talent- Hollie Steel is a '12' year old lady says bitter man on internet!
A bitter man on Ewe-tube, who owns a cat bearing a striking resemblance to "Pebbles-Cat', has made a startling claim that Hollie Steel is not a ten year old girl. No, she is possibly TWELVE and could even be older than Susan Boyle, but not quite as...
Read full storyBritain's Got Talent Singer Susan Boyle Signed to Music Contract
Suprise You-Tube superstar Susan Boyle has apparently been signed this afternoon to a multi-million pound recording contract following her performance on Saturday's "Britain's Got Talent" show. Following the massive popularity of the singer since...
Read full storyBritain's Got Talent - Hollie Steel is the new 'Julie Andrews' says Julie Andrews!
Hollie Steel, 7 and a half , is the new me says Julie Andrews. Julie who has not been in the news since 1970, because she has talent has announced to the world... Hollie Steel is actually her, because she is a DNA clone. Andrews 67, cloned her DNA...
Read full storyBanned from Walmart
This is why women should not take men shopping against their will. After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart: Dea...
Read full storyMichael Jackson Loves Shaheen Jafargholi of Britain's Got Talent
Pop-star Michael Jackson says that he was "in love" with twelve year old Shaheen as soon as he took the stage. Shaheen sang a version of "Who's Loving You" that even impressed a usually critical Simon Cowell. Michael Jackson praised the young sing...
Read full storyTit-Sucking Good For Women
Women who breastfeed their babies may be lowering their own risk of a heart attack, heart disease or stroke, research suggests. A US study found women who breastfed for more than a year were 10% less likely to develop the conditions than those wh...
Read full storyWine Flu Hits Italy
ROME - Italian authorities have just reported a national outbreak of Wine Flu. They say that it is the first such outbreak since the dreaded Perry Como Wine Flu Epidemic of 1989. Noted Italian Wine Flu Expert Giardino Tortellini stated that the ea...
Read full storyApril 24th to be Dragon's Day
The British Government has announced that in the interests of fairness and to comply with the essence of anti-discrimination legislation, April 24th will now be deemed to be Dragon's Day. They are concerned that pressure to celebrate Saint George'...
Read full storyBritain's Got Talent Susan Boyle Wikipedia Page Still Not Up
Britain's Got Talent singing sensation Susan Boyle may have wowed audiences around the world with her unbelievable performance on the ITV show last week, but her lawyers were preparing a lawsuit tonight after it was discovered that a Wikipedia page i...
Read full storyAlan Shearer April Fool's Day Joke Angers Newcastle United Fans
There were red faces all round at St James Park today when, after initial reports late last night announced that Newcastle United hero Alan Shearer was to take over the manager's position at the club, it emerged this morning that the whole thing was...
Read full storyMelissa Huckaby dated Robert Pattinson
Robert Pattinson shared a story with me, recalling that he once took an obsessed female fan out for dinner. However, the fan got bored of his personality and took him for an unforgettable spin. Robert was in Europe filming his soon-to-be-released...
Read full storyIs Susan Boyle The Late Peter Boyle's Sister?
That's the question going around both Britain and the United States because of her uncanny resemblance to the late actor! Although Peter Boyle, famous for his role on the TV hit show "Everybody Loves Raymond" and who died two years ago, was listed...
Read full storyVanessa Hudgens and Brenda Song fighting over Twilight role!
Teen queens, Vanessa Hudgens and Brenda Song are reportedly feuding because of the Leah Clearwater role in Twilight's highly anticipated follow-up, Eclipse. Brenda and Vanessa, both 20, reportedly want to play Leah Clearwater. The starlets have both...
Read full storyNew Moon Cancelled!
The New York best seller New Moon my Stephanie Meyer was due to hit screens in November of 2009 but due to the recent fall in the economy the directors are finding it hard to come up with enough money to budget it. Summit Entertainment boss Edmon...
Read full storyHollie Steel and Shaheen Jafargholi will fist-fight for ' Britain's Got Talent' title!
Hollie Steel, from Accrington, Lancashire and Shaheen Jafargholi may have to don a pair of boxing gloves to settle the dispute of who is the best, says Simon Cowell. Simon has reportedly told insiders he is sick of pretending to 'be surprised', A...
Read full storyAngelina Jolie and Madonna Fighting Over Adopting Hollie Steel
PARIS - The Paris Souffle-Sun is reporting what could turn out to be the biggest adoption fight in the history of adoptions. World famous actress Angelina Jolie and world famous singer Madonna have both expressed a desire to add Hollie Steel, the...
Read full storySwine Flu Source Uncovered
The world was stunned today when it was revealed that the outbreak of swine flu could be traced back to a single source. Kermit The Frog. The world famous TV presenter, actor, singer and global green icon was found to have first contracted the new...
Read full storyAdam Lambert kidnapped from the American Idol mansion by mysterious ninja
Hollywood, CA - Early Easter morning American Idol contestant Kris Allen frantically called the Hollywood police to report that fellow singer Adam Lambert had been kidnapped over night. Adam Lambert has been seen by many as the leading contender of A...
Read full storyNaked Susan Boyle video reveals Guns N Roses tattoo
London - (Hairy Ass Mess): An explicit internet sex video showing Britain's Goat Talent contender Susan Boyle straddling a tumescent Pyrenean Mountin' Goat at the 1993 Cannes Film Festival reveals an unexpected tattoo on her butt. 'Axl Rose/Dizzy...
Read full storyPresident Wants New Name For Swine Flu
United States President Barack Obama in an emergency session with his cabinet again today over the Swine Flu, has requested that from now on to begin calling it, "Miss Piggy Flu". We're hurting here", stated Obama. "We depend on tourism and ...TOU...
Read full storyJ.K. Rowling to write 8th Harry Potter book
J.K. Rowling, during a series of press conferences yesterday, declared that she would be writing an eighth book in a series of seven Harry Potter books. Rowling initially said, shortly after the 7th came out, that no more were to be had (much to...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus To Have Jaws Wired Shut
US teen queen Miley Cyrus is to have her jaws wired together, not because she's obese, but in a last ditch attempt to make her bloody shut up. Officials in the Cyrus camp admitted privately that allowing the 16 year old starlet, aka Hannah Montana...
Read full storyRafa Nadal Launches Own Brand Of Underwear
Tennis number one Rafa Nadal is to launch his own brand of underwear, The Spoof.com can reveal. Under the brandname Wedgie Pants, the pants are to be sold at all the biggest outlets in the world and sales are expected to skyrocket. 'They'll come...
Read full storyStephen Hawking to fake his own death 'just like Princess Diana'
London - (Preposterous Ass Mess): Shrinks at London's Royal Freak Hospital are poised to section Prof Stephen Hawking after his ex-wife complained that he was about to fake his own death 'just like Princess Di'. Elaine Hawking has told social work...
Read full storyPrince William despondent over rapidly balding pate - Royals suggest hair transplant
BUCKINGHAM PALACE, LONDON: The man who will be King is upset with his thinning hair. Wills is said to have told close friends that he is shocked and utterly despondent at the rapidity of his hair loss. The heir to the throne is also not amused tha...
Read full storySexy PE Teacher Disciplined - The Backlash Begins
Furious protests erupted here in Wolverhampton following revelations that sexy gym teacher has been disciplined by the headmaster after she appeared on an internet website, modelling lingerie. She was snapped wearing a pink slip and a thong in one...
Read full storySwan Flu Hits Zoo
SAN DIEGO, California - Zoo officials have just announced that when zoo workers were feeding the zoo's swan population this morning they happened to notice that a lot of the swans were acting strange. It seems that the swans were sitting in the c...
Read full storyQueen and Michelle Obama release lesbian video
The Queen and Michelle Obama have released a video of their erotic "hug" when they met earlier today. The Obamas were in London for the G20 summit and met the Queen and Prince Philip. Michelle Obama has been criticised by some for breaking protoco...
Read full storyMental Illnesses Diagnosed in Unborn Babies - Say What?
At a clinic in Dorchester and another in Oyster Bay, New York, in the USA, doctors are now routinely diagnosing unborn babies with mental disorders including ADHD and Bipolar as well as a newly defined disease, Pre-Traumatic Stress Disorder (based on...
Read full storyBritain's Got Talent Susan Boyle is a Man
Got Talent scouts, directors, judges and producers were shocked two times by middle aged performer Susan Boyle. The first time the smug judges and judgemental audience seemed to automatically dismiss the frumpy English old maid poised to perform...
Read full storyOprah Winfrey: I will stay a virgin until I'm married
Los Angeles, CA - Oprah Winfrey has announced in her own magazine 'O' that she intends to stay a virgin until she is married "to set a good example for young women." Winfrey, who is 55 and a self made billionaire with a number of successful franch...
Read full storyFerrets, Whippets, And Flat Caps To Blame For North-South Divide
The north/south divide: is it a myth, or is there something deeeper going on here that lesser mortals can't quite grasp? Analysts are pretty certain that a rift was formed under the governance of Mrs Thatcher, as she effectively shut down the nort...
Read full storyMelissa Rivers To Sue Donald Trump For Firing Her
NEW YORK CITY - Melissa Rivers, the 41-year-old daughter of comedienne Joan Rivers was fired from "Celebrity Apprentice" by Donald Trump. Needless to say Melissa left, but she did not go easy. She walked out into the hall ranting and raving and de...
Read full storyShaheen Jafargholi Gives Susan Boyle Her Second Kiss
LONDON - Two of the top contestants on this year's "Britain's Got Talent" are 47-year-old Susan Boyle and 12-year-old Shaheen Jafargholi. After Miss Boyle revealed to the judges that she had never been kissed Angelina Jolie quickly arranged for Br...
Read full storyZac Efron To Star With Lucy Lastic In Brit Porn Spectacular?
London today, about five minutes after closing time - I have exclusively learned that Hollywood heart throb Zac Efron has been lined up to appear in pornographic spectacular The Pirates Of Zac's Pants. I was getting a much needed breath of fresh a…
Read full storySusan Boyle has never been kissed, but has had Nooky Sex!
Susan Boyle - the voice of a nightingale said yesterday "I really don't know why everyone assumed I said I was the Virgin Mary. I just said I haven't been kissed. I don't like kissing but I like to fill me boots from time to time. What's the big de...
Read full storyPaul Potts lends advice to Susan Boyle
With the release of Susan Boyle's second big hit "Cry Me a River", her potential seems boundless. We talked with the golden voiced spinster about her future and her relationship with former BGT discovery Paul Potts. Susan Boyle may have found a me...
Read full storySusan Boyle's 'Killing Me Softly' Demo worth £10 million pounds
Susan Boyle, 47 the greatest singing sensation of the Milky Way - since Trog the Martian Baritone graced our screens; is delighted that a demo tape she sent to Simon Dowell ten years ago alongside a large 'poster-sized' photo of her face, is now wor...
Read full storyRoger Federer Marries Rafa Nadal's Mom
Roger Federer has married Rafa Nadal's mother in a move many see as the Swiss' last throw of the dice in their increasingly one-sided rivalry, in a private ceremony in Switzerland. "He needs to get into Rafa's head", says tennis analyst Mats Wilan...
Read full storyIncorrect naming of Calorie means our food intake is over 950 times worse than thought
Nutritionists were demanding answers today following the admission by scientists that the Calorie was incorrectly named and that each Calorie we ingest is actually worth 1000 Calories! If this is proved to be true, then a pint of lager may in fact...
Read full storySusan Boyle tossed off BGT
Overnight sensation Susan Boyle was ruled ineligible to continue in the Britain's Got Talent television show after it was learned that she was paid for her work on a charity CD. Boyle sang Cry Me a River on a 1998 CD to benefit the Foundation for...
Read full storySusan Boyle Kissed By Brad Pitt
LONDON - Susan Boyle, the 47-year-old singing sensation, who recently revealed on the British show, "Britain's Got Talent" that she had never been kissed was kissed by Brad Pitt. The Scottish lass received a phone call from Angelina Jolie who arra...
Read full storyBrad tells Angelina: "If you get knocked up one more time I'll slap you"
Lake Como, Italy - Brad Pitt has reportedly told live-in lover and mother of his six children Angelina Jolie not to get pregnant again. "I'm so tired of it" said Pitt "every time I turn around Angelina is pregnant. And if she isn't pregnant she...
Read full storySusan Boyle's 'Cry Me A River' CD now worth a fortune
Susan Boyle 47, is now officially bigger than the Beatles, Jesus and Elvis put together and has also sparked a crazed phenomenon of people on that internet shopping website flogging her 'Sounds of West Lothian' CD for 'BIG MONEY'. The CD origina...
Read full storyFlogging video is 'harmless S&M porn' say Taleban
Swat Valley, Pakistan - (Ritually Sordid Ass Mess): A depraved video showing moronic Afghani men flogging a 17 year old girl was branded 'harmless S&M porn' by Taleban warlords today. The footage was immediately posted on a wholesome radical f...
Read full storyElaine Paige and Susan Boyle To Sing On "Dancing With The Stars"
HOLLYWOOD - Elaine Paige, who is regarded as "The Queen of English Musical Theater" has agreed to appear on ABC's "Dancing With The Stars" and sing a duet with the Scottish singing sensation Susan Boyle. DWTS host Tom Bergeron confirmed that both...
Read full storyFrank Lampard's - James O'Brien admits to talking through arse at LBC
Sloppy DJ James O'Brien who boasts there are no scripts, no rules, no running orders, no research and no point to his show -admitted to sometimes pointing his arse at the microphone and letting it have a free run of the programme. Shock-Jock-Pile-...
Read full storyAngelina Jolie and the Swine flu
Today actress Angelina Jolie visits a farm to adopt a pig named Johnson who is afflicted with the pandemic swine flu. She says, its the least she can do to help out during the potential crisis. This virus is a mix of human, pig and bird strains t...
Read full storyPlaydude Magazine to Issue Middle Eastern Edition
Hef Horner, head of the Playdude Empire, has long printed his magazine in English, Spanish, German, and several other languages, regardless of the fact that most people just look at the pictures. In a press conference at the Playdude Mansion, Hef (c...
Read full storyOCD and ADHD now being overtaken by OBCT
Alarming figures from the UK's Department of Health reveal a significant change in the number of recorded problems among children and young adults. Of the monitored problems, the newly-defined syndrome of Overweight Babies, Children and Teenagers, o...
Read full storyThe Eagles To Become Susan Boyle's Backup Band
LOS ANGELES - Simon Cowell, who is Susan Boyle's manager, has just disclosed to the news media that he has signed the California-based band, The Eagles to be Miss Boyle's backup band on her upcoming summer concert tour. Cowell added that the Eagle...
Read full storyRobert Downey Jr. As Naked Sherlock Holmes' Alter Ego, Mr. Hyde
Leave it to Robert Downey Jr. to screw up and turn Sherlock Holmes into a wisecracking action hero who ends up handcuffed naked to a bed with Dr. Watson lighting farts and cackling. Downey offered a sneaky peak Tuesday of "Sherlock Holmes," his ne...
Read full storyKim Clijsters: "Woman's Tennis Sucks Donkey Balls"
Ex-grand slam champion Kim Clijsters has revealed her private reason for returning to the tennis circuit in an interview with Bored Housewife magazine. "Woman's tennis sucks donkey balls", stated the Belgian, who will return after two years away '...
Read full storyDr Who to visit Nudist Planet
David Tennant is set to bare all in his finale as the Timelord, as he teams up with John Simm's character, The Master, and a new young male companion. While Georgia Moffett is also rumoured to feature, Russell T Davies has confirmed that The Doct...
Read full storyJ-Lo, Bea Arthur Fued Ends As Arthur Drops Dead
According to an Indian newspaper, two of Hollywood's most well known faces, Jennifer Lopez and Beatrice Arthur have come to loggerheads over their upcoming films, both focusing on single women wanting to be mothers. However, over the recent weeken...
Read full storyCliff Richard Banned From Singing At Wimbledon
British singing icon Sir Cliff Richard has been told that, despite the success of his well-meaning antics during the rain-soaked Wimbledon tennis championships of 1996, when stunned spectators joined in with weird renditions of his old hits, the boyi...
Read full storyMarco Pierre White To Have Bandana Surgically Removed
Just in. (They actually woke me up from a lovely nap.) - Celebrity TV chef Marco Pierre White, who despite his exotic sounding name was actually brought up on a dead rough council estate in Leeds is to have his trademark bandana surgically removed on...
Read full storySimon Cowell Secretly Dating Susan Boyle
LONDON - Simon Cowell, the 49-year-old British television producer, music executive, and all-around talent show judge has denied rumors that he is secretly dating "Britain's Got Talent" singer Susan Boyle. Cowell who recently broke up with his lon...
Read full storyDerren Brown Makes Woman Invisible
Mind-Lord Derren Brown is in trouble tonight after one of his stunts went terribly, terribly wrong. Brown made a volunteer from his audience seemingly completely invisible but soon admitted he had no idea how to make her visible again. "Technical...
Read full storyPotts to Boyle: Don't sing Nessun Dorma
The budding friendship between Paul Potts and Susan Boyle has take a turn south, after Boyle set her sights on Potts' lucky song, Nessun Dorma. He has stopped taking fish and chips with her on Wednesdays and went so far as to say that she put too...
Read full storySusan Boyle The Source Of Swine Flu, Possibly
Health officials worldwide who are currently investigating a series of outbreaks of the potentially-fatal Swine Flu virus, say they have reason to believe there may be some tenuous connection with Britain's Got Talent singing sensation, Susan Boyle.
Read full storyAfter tattoo, OctoMom installs ceiling mirror over her bed
Los Angeles, California - OctoMom just had a ceiling mirror installed over her bed so she watch herself breastfeed her babies. "It's the only way I keep an eye on all my babies, all at the same time while I'm breastfeeding them," said OctoMom, while...
Read full storySusan Boyle To Tour With The Rolling Stones
LONDON - Susan Boyle, the 47-year-old singing sensation, who until recently hadn't been kissed, has just been signed to go on tour with none other than the Rolling Stones. Miss Boyle told a reporter for the BBC that it is a dream come true. She sa...
Read full storyBritain's Got Talent Simon Cowell And Susan Boyle To Marry
Britain's Got Talent judge Simon Cowell stunned the showbusiness world in a Press conference this afternoon, by announcing his intention to marry the new Scottish singing sensation, Susan Boyle. Cowell "fell in love" with Susan after witnessing th...
Read full storyWhy Swine Flu Hit America, Mexico First?
The Swine Flu epidemic has reached Mexico and the United States. This new mutated strand of influenza starts as a normal flu, then turns fat people the rest of the way into pigs, after eating like pigs for a generation. Experts say it is not by a...
Read full storyNigerian Women Go On Sex Strike
Sisters rejoice! The women of Nigeria have issued their partners with an ultimatum: Either you guys sort out a solution to the tribal differences and feuds which so afflict our great nation, or we women will go on sex strike. It's that simple. No tru...
Read full storyNew Dan Brown Novel "The Lost Symbol" plot secrets revealed
The sequel to the international super-book "The Da Vinci Code" will be released in September. "The Lost Symbol" as it has been provisionally titled, will see the return of the Robert Langdon character and follow him on a 12 hour journey. However...
Read full storyStephen Hawking will not make a full recovery after all
The doctors treating the stricken science fiction author Stephen Hawking have embarrassingly changed their original prognosis that he will make a full recovery. The wheelchair bound professor was admitted to PC World on Oxford Street on Monday af...
Read full storyMalia and Sasha Obama Open White House Lemonade Stand
First daughters Malia and Sasha Obama have opened a lemonade stand on the White House lawn near the visitors entrance. They are the first official residents to sell foodstuffs from the Executive Mansion since Amy Carter (the Bush twins buying beer f...
Read full storySusan Boyle to be given a 'sexy' makeover by Gok!
Dame Susan Boyle , OBE, Knight of the realm, is to be given a makeover by that strange creature Gok. The weird thing with the tin-tin quiff, beat fellow tran-sexual rivals Tranny and Suemanna for the job. Gok real name 'Gok Wanabeinmygang' said...
Read full storyThe Susan Boyle story - a tale of hypocrisy!
The Susan Boyle story is a tale that has touched our hypocritical hearts. Therefore we need baddies, the first is the girl on BGT, who appears to be laughing at Susan Boyle, Although she is most likely laughing at something else. However juxtaposed a...
Read full storyElton John is straight - ex reveals all
Buckinghamshire, England - "Elton John is straight" that's the startling statement, Elton John's ex-boyfriend Benny Anthejets has made to Gaytime is Goodtime Gossip Magazine. Anthejets spilled the beans on his sordid affair with John back in the...
Read full storyMadonna to adopt Sean Wright Phillips
Reports coming from Manchester appear to support the rumour that Madonna plans to adopt another small orphan from another war torn and divided city. Manchester based solicitors for the multi millionairess popstar, 'Madferit, Avit and Skrike' have...
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