Madonna to adopt Sean Wright Phillips

Funny story written by Fergus McCarthy

Friday, 3 April 2009

image for Madonna to adopt Sean Wright Phillips
Madonna and Wright Phillips.

Reports coming from Manchester appear to support the rumour that Madonna plans to adopt another small orphan from another war torn and divided city.

Manchester based solicitors for the multi millionairess popstar, 'Madferit, Avit and Skrike' have refused to either confirm or deny that Madonna has filed adoption papers in a Manchester courthouse in a bid to become the legal parent of Manchester City and England winger Sean Wright Phillips.

City manager Mark Hughes however is adamant that Wright Phillips is going nowhere.
"Sean is staying in Manchester where he belongs, he isn't for sale and as far as I know he's not an orphan, I used to play football against his dad Ian" Hughes told reporters at Manchester City's training ground earlier today.

A spokeswoman for Madonna admitted that she will be making a brief stop in Manchester on her way back to the States after she signs the adoption papers for four year old Malawi girl 'Mercy James' but insists that the singer is merely stocking up on fresh 'Kabbalah Sausage' from the ancient and historical 'Bury Market'.

Madge became an avid eater of the large black blood sausage known locally as 'Black pudding' after a sell out gig at the aptly named "Gigg lane stadium" in July 1987 .
Madonna has often spoken of her desire for an English orphan preferably from Northern England and has been pictured on numerous occasions wearing flat caps in an apparent tribute to the founder of United Kingdom Kabbalah, the late Mr Albert Tatlock, a reclusive WW1 veteran.

There has however been criticism of Madonna's choice of orphan with accusations of 'Designer Deity' being hurled in her direction after a daily news paper printed photographs showing the uncanny resemblance between Tatlock and Wright Phillips.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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