Written by Phil Edgar's Bones

Sunday, 26 April 2009

image for Frank Lampard's - James O'Brien admits to talking through arse at LBC
Many people talk via their sphincters - O'Brien is a world champion !

Sloppy DJ James O'Brien who boasts there are no scripts, no rules, no running orders, no research and no point to his show -admitted to sometimes pointing his arse at the microphone and letting it have a free run of the programme.

Shock-Jock-Pile-O-crock DJ told popular lads magazine "Ladz" that he hated preparing for his show and often ran out of material on air and when this occurred he would lie on the studio floor reading the Beano and aim the microphone at his bottom to take over the show.

"I often don't even know what's going on' said the SORNY award-winning smug numbskull. "I love work because I get to read comics and drink pop from a mug, while I lie on the floor kicking my legs in the air- it's just like home.

"Apparently my arse upset a footballer the other day. I was told it just wouldn't stop talking, but I didn't know anything about that because in my comic Minnie the Minx was being slippered by her dad and Dennis the Menace went for a slap-up meal with Walter Softy" replied the grown man coily wrapping his hair round his finger".

"Some critics say,I do not prepare for my show and I have no material, so I fill in the dead- air by talking out of my arse, allowing it to insult people as if I was a playground bully, covering up for my many inadequacies. But that's not true, I speak out of my arse because it just makes more sense than my mouth".

"I am not sorry for upsetting Mr Lampard, because he's got more money than me and teacher says you should share. He doesn't share. He hasn't shared his family, talent or fame with me and that means I can use my magic microphone to get back at him. If he complains again I will just make fart noises while he speaks and go - Poo you farted".

Mr O'Brien's bosses defended their man citing " He represents the ordinary man yet arrogant man; who is somewhat retarded, envious, possesses speech impediments, bad breath and penile dysfunction. That is why we have him on the show"

Mr O'Brien is reported to have an IQ lower than Andy Warhol and O.J Simpson on a 'bad' day.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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