Written by Bluebella

Thursday, 23 April 2009

image for Penelope Cruz breaks her silence over break-up with Tom Cruise
A cruz ship sets sail for the Carribean

Malaga, Spain - It's been three years since actress/model Penelope Cruz and the world's leading scientist, Tom Cruise, went their separate ways.

Now, Penelope has finally decided to break her silence about the painful break-up, in exchange for $1million. When asked why she has never spilled the beans before she candidly confessed that she had never been offered this much money before. For a further $2 million she has also agreed to spill the beans on why Tom broke up with Nicole.

"The truth is" Penelope says, with tears tumbling down her Loreal ("face" in Spanish) "Tom was just too old fashioned for me. You see he wanted me to take his last name if we got married. Now it's not that I'm a feminist or anything, it's just that I really like the sound of my last name and it's how people identify me. Now if I were suddenly to become Penelope Cruise how would anyone even recognise me? Add to that the Bechkhams' named one of their sons after me. How could I go ahead and change my name when such an honour has been given to me?"

After weeks of fighting about the name change, with neither one budging an inch the Cruz-Cruises decided to call it a day.

"It was about 6am in the morning" Cruz went on "the sun was just breaking out over the horizon. I said to Tom "it's daytime now, no longer night" and Tom agreed with me. "You're right, it is a day" he said. And that was it - we called it A Day and then we split up three months after that."

Cruz wrapped up the interview by admitting that she was "pretty goddamn pissed off" that Cruise married Katie Holmes and let her keep her last name "after all that!"

When probed about the Kidman-Cruise break-up Cruz responded by saying that she wasn't saying another word until the cheque cleared "And it's quite a juice story" She added with a wink "come back and see me in five banking days."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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