Written by Francine Fishpaw

Monday, 13 April 2009

image for Adam Lambert kidnapped from the American Idol mansion by mysterious ninja
American Idol mansion - scene of Adam Lambert kidnapping

Hollywood, CA - Early Easter morning American Idol contestant Kris Allen frantically called the Hollywood police to report that fellow singer Adam Lambert had been kidnapped over night. Adam Lambert has been seen by many as the leading contender of American Idol season 8.

American Idol Mansion roommate Kris Allen was awaken out of bed late in the evening to catch a glimpse of a black clad ninja kidnapping Adam Lambert out of the balcony window with a knife held to his throat.

"I suddenly woke up and seen this short chubby ninja forcing Adam out the window with a big knife to his throat" Allen said. "They went out on the balcony and they went down a ladder that was placed outside".

The Hollywood police department investigated the scene and noted that only one bed was in use in the bedroom and the other bed was still made. When questioned about the other unused bed Kris Allen just smiled sheepishly and shrugged his shoulders.

The Hollywood police questioned the other 6 Idol contestants in the American Idol mansion and they all seemed frightened about the breech of security and concerned for Adam's safety, all except the contestant named Danny Gokey who was smiling from ear to ear. "So I guess this means Adam is out of the competition?" gleefully remarked Gokey as he casually ate a bag of chips.

Later in the afternoon a mysterious tape was dropped off at American Idol judge Simon Cowell's mansion. Hollywood police spokeswoman said that they have reviewed the tape which reportedly showed AI contestant Adam Lambert bond and gagged in a chair with a short stocky ninja standing next to him. The spokeswoman reported that the mysterious ninja had made certain demands using a voice-changing device.

The ninja said that if these demands were not met dire things would happen to Mr. Lambert. The police spokeswoman said that the ninja demanded that American Idol pay a ransom of 3 million dollars, a one way ticket to Cuba and a recording contract for previous Idol contestant Tatiana Del Toro. The ninja also demanded that Ms. Del Toro be placed back into the competition. The last demand confounded the police department who were left wondering who Tatiana Del Toro was.

The Hollywood police forensic team used a device to try to identify the mysterious ninja's voice. They said the voice was hard to identify because it would go back and forth from a normal English accent to what the experts believe was a heavy Spanish accent.

Hollywood Police spokeswoman stated "The forensic team is pretty sure that the Spanish accent is Dominican".

American Idol producers said they will try to continue to film this weeks upcoming episode without Adam Lambert. The producers said the show must continue even though Adam Lambert is still being held hostage. Fellow American Idol contestant Danny Gokey remarked "Why continue to look. Adam's probably a goner anyway"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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