Melissa Huckaby dated Robert Pattinson

Funny story written by howy

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

image for Melissa Huckaby dated Robert Pattinson
Picture of deranged stalker Melissa Huckaby

Robert Pattinson shared a story with me, recalling that he once took an obsessed female fan out for dinner. However, the fan got bored of his personality and took him for an unforgettable spin.

Robert was in Europe filming his soon-to-be-released movie, "Little Ashes," when he had the stalker standing by his apartment "every day for weeks - all day, every day." She left patches of animal fur and a dead fish outside of the apartment. Feeling "bored and lonely" at one point of time, he then decided to treat the stalker to a dinner date.

Roberts approached the stalker while she was hiding behind some bushes and asked her for her name. The female stalker replied that her name was Melissa Huckaby and she was from California. Roberts asked her if she wanted to go to dinner. Huckaby desperately jumped out of the bushes and grabbed Pattinson's hand.

In between times they were having their dinner, Roberts complained about everything in his life, this made the stalker bored.

Melissa Huckably then invited Roberts to a motel to have some drinks. Roberts says his last recollections of the stalker was several seconds after he drank a glass of the scotch wiskey she had mixed. He said everything turned dark like going into a sleep. The next day he woke up naked, tossed behind an old barn in the country side. He recalls feeling droggy and he says he had a hard time trying to walk.

After checking himself into the hospital and getting treated for a bad case of crabs he decided that dating female stalkers would be out of the question in the future.

A hospital spokeman said Blood tests determined that Robert Pattinson had Benzodiazepines in his system. Benzodiazepines is a muscle relaxant that is used before painful procedures. It also has the ability to erase memory.

Robert has also told reporters he isn't good "at the whole 'dinner' thing." He said, "I'm a bit of a loner. I'm boring. I stay home, watch TV and eat a lot of fast food. That's really exciting, isn't it?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more